Very, very long time lurker. Have been following RSD and applying social principles for about 7 to 8 years now.

I’ll keep it brief, as I know details are mostly irrelevant.

Been hooking up with a married woman. Been a while. She’s supposedly in the process of getting divorced. We talk a lot.

There is a constant frame struggle. The time where she is submissive, light hearted, fun and flirty is perfect. I’m aware when the frame gets tested, but because a large portion of our communication is over text, it is hard to manage all the time. I do feel that a give and take in a relationship is healthy.. however every time I give a little, I find myself having to fight the mile taken and wrestle control back. It makes me not want to be generous, which is very much against my nature, and what I think a heathy relationship needs.

She is older, and still married. I don’t think dread game works, because she has a fallback always readily there. Is there any advice to keeping frame while still being able to be generous and giving? I’ll provide additional information if needed.

Is it worth it? I like her, but sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it to go through the wrestling process that she thinks everytime I give something to reward how she treats me, it becomes a frame battle.