I have slowly been returning to this community and have seen a couple questions about how to have the mindset of abundance before you actually have abundance. How do you fake it? This is a great question because if you are not naturally doing well with women, it is a long journey to "fake" abundance until you have it. I thought I would share how one of my passions has helped me have a frame of abundance.

I have always loved live music, live shows, not the big flashy ones 100 dollar arena shows, but the 5 dollar cover independent band shows. I try and know every local band that plays or comes to my town. When the show is coming, I say hi to the promoter, I sometimes know the band, I often take the set list and a poster. I'm rocking on the dance floor, enjoying the show.

This genuine passion of mine, has helped me IMMENSELY with women. Here is why:

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  • When I invite a woman out, its often to a show. This sets the frame immediately. We are going to something that is in my expertise. I am simply telling her I am going to this show, she is welcome to come, but there is no negotiating about when or where. My invite drips of abundance.
  • Women quickly learn that I will not be a butthurt beta if they decline. For me its as simple as saying "Hey the War on Drugs is playing this Friday and x". They often decline, and message me on Saturday and ask "Hey, how was it?" I will respond with pictures and a fun story, and in no way will I imply that I wished she would have come, because I really wanted to go see that band, and I met my brothers there anyway. Me genuinely not being annoyed that she declines to come INCREASES the chance of her wanting to see me next time.
  • I often invite MORE then one woman to a show. This quickly implies that THIS IS NOT A DATE, I am showing you something cool. I am giving you a chance to have access to my life. I may grab your butt, we may go home together, I may introduce you to another girl I invited. Lets see what happens because honestly, I am excited to see this show more then anything else. The woman who may be attending with me is an added bonus, not the main event.
  • When I bring a woman to a show, the owners or promoters know me because I actually took the time to introduce myself a year ago and that makes her think I have high value.
  • When I bring a woman to a show, I almost always have friends that are coming with me or that I am meeting. I am not going to ignore them for her. We have a ritual, she is not part of it (but perhaps she can try and join our ritual).
  • If no women want to come out with me, if I am in a dryspell, thats OK because I am quite excited to actually see the band thats playing next friday. I look em up, I see what their best singles are. I tell my buddies about them. We play their track while we're playing some basketball etc. This passion helps me not be beta during my dryspell, and since my passion occurs in a place women want to be, I can just hit on them during the show if it comes to pass.
  • When a woman comes by my house, she sees big bands from ten years ago, with posters and signed tickets on my wall and says hey this guy has a life. I have hundreds of stories about the bands on my wall, going back to their bus, things my friends did the night of the show etc. If she likes music similar to mine, I may have a signed album from an artist she mentions, or a funny story about when I went to that artists show. It adds depth to my character.

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So how can you build abundance? You don't have to have abundance with women first. Build abundance in other things. Have abundant friends and family that you appreciate. Have abundant hobbies and passions that you are great at.

Be a master of something. I could just be a guy who goes to a lot of shows, but INSTEAD I have deliberately took time to make live shows a part of my character. I work out. I have a career. I try and look good. I practice PUA. But I have one more thing, I have a lot of "street cred" in a concert scene because I like it, I find it increases my value and therefore I have invested my time into it.

So if your wondering how to "build abundance" I recommend you start by finding an attainable passion that:

  • you are genuinely interested in, or barring that could one day be genuinely interested in
  • will improve your worth (think sports, music, machines, something cool, not world of warcraft)
  • other men might be interested in because it is IMPORTANT that women see you enjoying your passions with other men. Other men will help you build value. You can say "baby wait here, Joe and I want to see if we can talk to the drummer". If you have brothers that matter, you will communicate that she does not matter as much, and therefore you will have abundance.
  • that women can join in, that women might be excited to come to, that women might already be enjoying.