I asked /r/relationships for advice a couple days ago about a situation with my "ungirlfriend" and I was basically torn to shreds. Repeatedly. I'm not without faults but a lot of the advice was very, very harsh. Someone reached out to me via PM and suggested I post my situation here for some advice. I am going to repost what I submitted to /r/relationships. Thank You.

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1cdp54/ive_been_a_little_shady_with_my_ungirlfriend_and/

Can't sleep and thought I should try asking for some advice. I've been seeing this girl, Beth, since September and we have been hanging out/dating for most of the time. Beth isn't as attractive as some of my exes, but we have a lot of fun together and I like spending time with her. I really like her. I asked her out after meeting her through a friend, and we had a fun couple of dates. Early on, like probably after a month into us hanging out she went and visited an ex and had a fuckfest with him, that I heard about which left a sour taste in my mouth.

She eventually admitted it to me a few days after the fest, and we talked it out and she wanted to be exclusive from then on and for us to be in a relationship. I wasn't at the time looking for a relationship, especially with how stressful my school responsibilities are and I told her that. I also told her that I couldn't trust her and didn't think she was the right person for a relationship, and how I'm choosy about who I date and I don't want to jump into things too fast. All true. We ended up agreeing to just be together for now, and see where things go. So more or less exclusive... don't kiss anyone else type of situation.

We've been "together" for a while now and she has been a really awesome, supportive person to be with. She has helped me become better in a lot of ways and we have good sex, we do fun stuff together, she listens to me, and its been better than most of my past relationships. I'm kind of leaning towards asking her to be my girlfriend soon... i'm almost sure she will say yes. I think it would be a good next step.

Now, this is the part of our story that makes me look bad. I've never done anything like this to anyone before and I'm not super proud of this. I should also say we never explicitly said we were exclusive. I hooked up with an ex over Christmas break when visiting family. This I don't feel very bad about... it was a direct fuck you, let me regain my self-respect move. For what it's worth didn't have sex sex with her, but hooked up none the less. February, I had a one night stand. Yeah, messed up. March, another one night stand. Not going to defend either of those. Somehow, through all of this I also thought it smart to ask out a girl from one of my classes, and we had like a mini-romance. Hooked up for maybe two weeks pretty intensely, and then she asked about Beth and I ended it. That was in February too.

In and of itself, the hooking up with other girls when you have a kinda/sorta girlfriend is shitty. Or at minimum douchey. Beth's little fuckfest really made me insecure with myself... I've never been cheated on before, and I know it wasn't exactly cheating but it felt that way. It makes you feel really shitty and it hurts a lot. I took it out on her with like slight digs and I was kind of an asshole. More so than the hooking up with others, this is what I feel bad about. I really tore into her bad about the fuckfest deal, and I've made her cry over it a couple times. Crocodile tears maybe, but the fucked up thing is it made me feel good.

The good is, I've come to peace with our relationship and the past 6 weeks or so has just been so great. Everyone knows we are together, and we are really great together. Like I said, she is a really great partner and we've been doing well. I've stopped the whole insecure, manipulative, hypocritical jack-ass routine I was doing. I know it was wrong, and I've changed. I've tested her a lot, and I know I can trust her now.

But then like nights like this, I start to feel really, really guilty. I've gotten head from four other girls while we were under this no kissing others policy. That is bad. I've fucked two other girls. I've been a raging hypocrite. And I feel empty and awful about how I've been. I know I want to change, and I'm pretty sure I will change. I've always been a really good boyfriend to past exes and with Beth, its better than it ever was with anyone else. I think we could be special and so happy.

So, the issue is for me is I'm debating ending things because I've been a bad person versus putting this in the past, and being the best boyfriend now going forward. Its easy to choose the be her boyfriend and leave the past in the past option, but I have my doubts about the morality of it. I don't know... I just need people to kind of chime in and gimme some feedback and help me decide what to do.

Per the requirements,

I am 23/m and Beth is 20/f

We have been seeing each other for about 7 months

tl;dr I've been dating but not officially dating a girl since September. We are not boyfriend/girlfriend but have a policy of not hooking up with other people. She was kind of a bitch at the beginning of our relationship, and she really hurt me. I've been a prick to her and held what she did against her, and violated our no hooking up with others agreement multiple times. Feel awful, and realize that what I did was wrong and I want to officialize our relationship and be a better person now, but I'm worried too much has happened. Looking for someone to help me figure this out.