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[–]kruddthemessiah 18 points19 points20 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The entire media is telling men they need to perform and satisfy women
Look at this guy - fucks her , gets off , ignores her , goes to sleep and she comes back again and again.
[–]betagenic9 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Watch the rationalization hamster work its magic:
Some women, confronted with these roadblocks, are redefining casual sex and the physical pleasure that they expect from it. Sex without strings has carnal and emotional benefits that don’t depend on reaching orgasm, they say.
...
Yet mediocre sex was a small price to pay “for the freedom to be able to enjoy it all.” The physical aspect of a tryst with a relative stranger was gratifying, she said, even if her chances of reaching orgasm were limited. When her partner’s performance was lackluster, she still took pride in her own sexual prowess.
[–]drrrrrr 13 points14 points15 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Pretty horrible article on it, I saw a similarly retarded article about this posted on Jezebel (naturally), which RPW tore apart.
But it's insightful. For women, orgasm essentially has no biological purpose. The clit is a penis, a leftover, and is pointedly located outside the vagina. And a vaginal orgasm, while powerful, is not at all necessary for impregnation and can even be undesirable, as with many women it can squeeze a dick / some cum out of her if she has strong kegel muscles or the guy is smaller.
The point is - women don't need to cum for sex to be well worth it to them, while guys do. Female hormonal response to sex is still massive whether they have a clitoral or vaginal orgasm. Sex begins and ends with the dick - it is the MVP, the star of the show.
So the best thing to do with hookups - not a girl you want to LTR or FWB, but a pump and dump - is to not give a fuck whether she orgasms. I don't even go down on girls during for ONS unless she actually has an attractive, clean pussy, which is not that common sadly. It makes the sex worse for her, as then she isn't going to be quite as wet, but that also makes it tighter for me... more animalistic when you stick it in.
Try actively not giving a fuck about whether you are good at sex. It will make you a lot better at sex, way more dominant, and you will be able to fuck way longer if that was an issue for you. Additionally, when she does cum, it will be a massive reward for her, not an expectation, and she will be in that "just-fucked" haze for like 2 days. This is what I want to tell all the pathetic guys in /askwomen wanting to know how they can better get their gf off.
Bukowski's Women is on point with this. Girls will actually tell him how he is shitty as a lover and worse than their boyfriends at sex, as well as old & half-hard due to intoxication, but they come back again and again.
[–]magicalbird1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because alphas are exciting and in the article the tiny diamond in the rough was "for females casual sex is exciting due to it being spontaneous" it's literally like an act of rebellion
I gotta read that book
[–]garltsagan_tim 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Check it out: http://journaleast.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/charles-bukowski-women.pdf
[–]1nowboarding 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
You advise this way of having sex without caring whether she orgasms for hookups but not LTR and FWB, why is that? Meaning if its effective at getting hookups to keep coming back wont it be applicable in other types of relationships?
[–]drrrrrr 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No, you're completely right. The same principles of why its attractive to not give a fuck about her orgasm for ONS applies to LTR and FWB. You certainly can have a fulfilling, alpha relationship with a woman without putting effort into making her come.
I'd simply argue that in this case, however, you'll get a lot more out of keeping that dominant frame (sex is about me, she gets an opportunity to get fucked and that's enough for her) while also making her cum on an unpredictable basis. If you want her to be addicted to sex, craving it beyond compare, and putting massive effort into trying to blow your mind, then orgasms are psychologically very powerful.
This is straight from Sex God Method (great read) - the unpredictability and fluctuations in sex (sometimes is brutal and self-serving, sometimes its immersive and she comes 4 times - is what hooks girls. No surprise there - the ups and downs are what produce addictions, not a constant stream of ups. So giving her the occasional "her" focused sex, or even better a fucking where you act like it's just you getting your rocks off, but subtly do things to bring her to orgasm, will give her massive hormonal spikes as well as psychological addictions to sex with you.
The oxytocin spike after orgasm is very, very powerful for women too. You will get massive compliance / femininity after she has a deep orgasm. If you've read David Deida, it's the post-orgasmic haze where you want to mold your woman because it's when she has just surrendered to you, and trusts you the most.
TLDR - I'd say for LTR and FWB you want to learn the principle of not giving a fuck about female orgasm from hookups, and then intentionally bring her to orgasm occasionally, in a selfish way, from time to time. The female orgasm is powerful and plays an important, although not essential, role in relationships. But it's benefits for you do not apply to hookups, as you aren't going to see the girl again to cash in on them.
[–]1nowboarding 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For cases where its a girl youre sleeping with for the first time, say on the first night you meet her or after 1-2 dates and your intentions are to make her one of your regular girls, do you suggest the first time sex be the self-serving kind or to try to go for her orgasm?
First time sex its very difficult to know her body well enough to give her an orgasm, but if I go for the self-serving sex couldnt she get the opinion i am bad in bed and not come back for more? If i dont put effort into pleasing her it will probably be short and unemotional.
Is there some balance to be struck the first 1-3 times youre sleeping with a new girl?
[–]drrrrrr 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Short answer? Please her without trying to please her. By all means learn about sex and learn how to make it good - but go in with the attitude of "I'm going to fuck this girl hard, because that's how I like it." You will find that women like sex the exact same way guys do. I would say just don't be restrained, there is something authentic about doing it the way you enjoy and just expecting the other person to like it because you like it. But it takes a while to be able to do that and not be thinking "Ok, so to please her, I'm going to act like I am purely just enjoying myself and not trying."
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]enticingasthatmaybe 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The female orgasm is more a function to reward her mate selection and to encourage her to keep banging that one dude (for 'dem diverse offspring). See oxytocin, pair bonding, etc....
[–]drrtyfrrnr 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“To sort of know yourself to be sort of skilled in a way or to be able to see someone else’s pleasure that was your own doing, I think there’s definitely something very empowering about that,” she said.
In other news, Women now empowered by everything a woman does.
[–]Evers89 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Somewhat relevant:
Having a conversation over text about threesomes with a girl.
Her: I think it'd empowering to be in a threesome with two guys I didn't know.
Me: Do you watch porn? You're not empowered. You're a piece of meat and two dudes use you up.
H: Yeah but I wouldn't let them do to me what they do to the girls in those videos.
M: Right. So how are you empowered?
H: Cause I'm the girl.
M: That's not a threesome that's a train lol
H: But it would be so hot.
M: I think were done here.
Yes they're empowered for sure. Lol
[–]DafyddBreen 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
However the power of "I'm gonna make you soak the fucking carpet. But you better not fucking come, I ain't done with you yet. You filthy little slut, you fucking did it. Suck my dick and then you can clean the floor." cannot be matched by a simple pump and dump. You gotta leave a bitch wrecked.
[–]Wolfwoodd 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ehhh.. I still always make sure a girl gets hers. When you are really good in bed, then she tells her girlfriends. Just say'n.
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[–]kruddthemessiah 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]betagenic9 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]drrrrrr 13 points14 points15 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]magicalbird1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]garltsagan_tim 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1nowboarding 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]drrrrrr 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1nowboarding 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]drrrrrr 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]enticingasthatmaybe 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]drrtyfrrnr 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Evers89 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DafyddBreen 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wolfwoodd 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link