Alright men do me a solid: how to lay down groundwork for renting a house with a girlfriend

1independentmale · 2014-07-13T17:51:02+00:00

A few ground rules:

Rent, don't buy. Do not buy a house with a girlfriend, ever. The only acceptable way to buy "together" when you aren't married is: one of you buys it and the other pays rent with a proper contract. Even then I wouldn't do it.
Never give her access to your personal finances. Have your own checking account, deposit your money there and pay your share of the rent from it. Do not put her on the account, do not give her cash for your share of the rent, etc. You should each write a check for half the rental amount when you pay your landlord.
To ensure equal access to the home, make sure both of your names are on the lease. If you want the freedom to bounce at a moments notice and not be stuck in a lease, then put her name on it only. The downside is she can also toss your ass out any time. Of course, this is true regardless: a woman need simply claim she is "afraid of you" and the police will forcibly remove you from the home and prevent you from returning to it, even if you own the home and she's just a live in honey who isn't paying for shit.
Make sure you aren't living in a common law state. Google "common law marriage." If you are going to cohabitate in a common law state, hire a lawyer first and find out what you need to do to protect yourself and ensure you don't wake up one day and find yourself married.
Never cosign a loan for anyone regardless of their gender or your living arrangements.
Don't knock her up. She will eventually want a child and may well let you knock her up intentionally. I don't care what she says: she's going to want a baby in her some day. Usually they "forget" to take their birth control. Plausible deniability.

MockingDead · 2014-07-13T14:57:02+00:00

Don't. Do not. Not ever.

Do not rent with a girl unless you are married. And even then, don't get married.

You will eventually be paying for everything and likely getting zero sex. And then plating her will be impossible.

redditor1255 · 2014-07-14T02:24:21+00:00

DONT DONT DONT DONT DONT

holy shit don't do it.

Jooceyjooce · 2014-07-14T08:24:40+00:00

It's really simple, actually. You just don't.

Misteralcala · 2014-07-13T19:08:33+00:00

This is fine since you're monogamous with her and have no intentions of spinning plates. As long as you're aware that leases, utilities and bills can wreck your credit if you default on them and they will come after whoever's name is on the bill. Sit down and figure who's name they will be in - Cable, water, electricity, trash and sewer, internet etc. Hopefully you figured out what it costs to turn on and maintain those services.

Another thing is to discuss boundaries with her, and ENFORCE them when it comes time to move in. What if she wants a puppy that will chew up the house ans shit on the carpet? Make her hold up her end of the housework and don't let her slip or else you'll be the one to do it all. You want to host poker or guy's night once a week? Maintain frame or those will be turned into cuddles on the couch to chick flicks.

Better lay that shit out in the ground rules and make sure she understands. It's been mentioned on here that women tend to take over a house. Traditionally women get to do all the decorating, leaving men one room or - if they're lucky - a 'man cave'. Just remind yourself that it's your home too and if she does anything you don't like, address it at once or it will become a thing.

Lastly, get renter's insurance. It's relatively inexpensive and it's a good piece of mind in case of accidents or vengeful new ex-GF.

finallygoingtopost · 2014-07-13T15:26:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

finallygoingtopost · 2014-07-13T14:55:49+00:00

I have always lived on my own, so have no direct experience with it. However, renting things is often already a pain in the ass alone, nevermind with multiple people.

If possible I'd ask her to put her name on the lease alone, you pay her, she pays the landlord, it's her responsibility. Your agreement is with her, you have nothing to do with landlord. If anything happens you can just walk away.

TRPCypher · 2014-07-13T14:56:45+00:00

It may differ where you live but co-habitating will likely lend her rights to the property regardless of any lease. i.e. You won't be able to just kick her out w/ no notice etc. I would consult a leasing attorney if possible, they exist.

Or did I completely miss this and you're talking about smaller stuff like sharing and shit? lol

finallygoingtopost · 2014-07-13T16:04:41+00:00

You're planning to marry this chick and have kids with her? I mean, do whatever you want. It either works out or it doesn't.

Axotl · 2014-07-14T00:35:12+00:00

How old are you? If you're still in your twenties there's a good chance it'll all head south. Most rent is a year minimum and you have no guarantees that your relationship will last the course. The simple advice here is: don't do it because the consequences of a split up are excessive.

Think of this as a miniature variation on marriage and all the danger that it entails.

pupplenupple · 2014-07-14T10:14:59+00:00

I'm not telling you not to do it... but if you can go for a six month lease instead of a one year lease that might be a good choice.

IamAwaken · 2014-07-14T11:56:55+00:00

Bro you need to read the sidebar. We speak a different language here and while it looks like English it isn't. You won't understand until you're well read in all of the sidebar material. It's to the right---->

That said, your situation is impossible to properly diagnose. You give us little of how you two interact. Most ppl will say don't, but that's because we know odds are against you.

I have lots of friends living with their gf though. Most of them have not much going in their life. They're working at Walmart or whatever and spend their extra cash on weed/alcohol/etc.

Basically it sounds like you need to get more hobbies that improve you're value. If you focus on yourself more and enjoy the self improvement things might change. We really don't know what you and her are about so basically the question is did you get a unicorn or not.

Unicorn is cover in the sidebar.

slcjosh · 2014-07-14T18:45:59+00:00

Dont do it. And if you do, make sure you have a solid back up plan for when the shit hits the fan.

dented_halo · 2014-07-15T00:53:21+00:00

Common law marriage strikes easier than you think. I'd stay far, far away from living with your GF unless you are planning on having children and getting married (please, don't get married).

Testiklease · 2014-07-15T14:03:20+00:00

/u/1independentmale made a pretty solid list, and most of the other comments here are pretty good. I hope you have a few good close friends that you enjoy hanging out with. They are what will help keep you sane through this because I know you will need to vent eventually. The first rule I should have set out was: I Will hang out with my friends the way I want too! This will help reinforce that If you want friends to come over and chill play video games, or go out and do stuff. You should not have to ask for her permission. This is where everything went downhill. Once I had to ask her for permission to do something(which then turned into almost everything) I wanted to do, my power dropped off. Now, I am not saying you shouldn't discuss actions with her. But what I am saying is you need to keep power on your side of the scale.

Title	Alright men do me a solid: how to lay down groundwork for renting a house with a girlfriend
Author	finallygoingtopost
Upvotes	5
Comments	42
Date	July 13, 2014 2:15 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2al1v8/alright_men_do_me_a_solid_how_to_lay_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/alright-men-do-me-a-solid-how-to-lay-down.17883 https://theredarchive.com/post/17883

Comments