I wanted to share a bit of my story and life to help remind people on here that you need to stay vigilant as the bluepill can creep up on you.

I was an athlete in college, 6'2" 235lb fullback. Tough, mean, chad, dating a cheerleader. We dated for 6 years, by the time we had broken up I was 280lbs and simply a big dude who used to have it.

I went through many years of loneliness and incel hell.

A year ago I sorted myself out somewhat and made positive changes. Lost 30lbs, got a hair cut, etc.

I met a great girl, we got along but we worked together and it was tricky. I was still bp. I let her dictate the frame. And she walked all over me but somehow I still wanted her.

Reading here and really focusing on myself made me realise it was silly, oneitis.

She did something that insulted me and I thought you know what 'fuck it'. I went out and just put everything out there. 3rd girl I spoke to I F closed. Damn. She was 7 years younger than me.

Then the next weekend, 13 years younger than me. What is happening?

I took stock, I earn double my national average wage. I am well built if still too heavy. I have a sweet beard and a good smile. I'm a leader of men as a college coach.

Over the past 5 months I have slept with 9 women I consider very attractive. Two are on rotation, with one coming to the front as main plate. She is 9 years younger than me and super fit and lean. No talk of commitment/gf just two people who hang out/date but have sex every single time we meet. Sure we grab dinner before or after, she is nice company.

Life is good.

Then it hits, a text from the girl that started it. Back in town after time away and somehow I feel like a little bitch again. I realise that even though what I have is great some part of me still thinks what if.

I know what is right, I need to focus on me, my life and making progress. But damn it is/was scary.

I think I caught it this time, I haven't responded. I just want this to be a warning that even if you make progress the BP can creep back up on you in a flash. Just because you make progress initially it isn't certain or concrete until you have been tested.

Edit: a typo