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[–]partdopy113 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is her job to lock you down, stop worrying about it. You are the prize.
Just work on yourself a bit every day and stay busy. Also, don't fuking text/call all the time like a needy bitch.
[–]pokergentleman3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Needed to hear that. Thank you!
[–]someonecallamedic points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
From your account you have 2 options.
Keep spinning her as a plate and not give a fuck when she goes out with other guys, or lock her down if you feel she's worth your future time and effort.
There's nothing wrong with being in a relationship. I think the goal of RP is to always make sure that no matter the relationship you have it's on your terms. You control yourself just as you did when she had a "breakdown" moment and even though the shit tests will continue, I've found they are just for show.
[–]Mangoinhand points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Lock her down? What the hell is that? You mean with rope or a marriage certificate?
It's like trying to tighten your fists around water. Does not even make sense.
Some men want a LTR. Some men want a nuclear family. Not all marriages or LTR are awful.
OP if you want a family, work for one. Make sure your mate you choose is worthy of your time. I read https://thefamilyalpha.com/ because TRP is great and constant reminders of how to keep frame are important, but it is focused toward single life. I wanted a family and happiness and because I work hard at it, I have both.
No.
You can have an OLTR with children in a Common Law marriage (go ahead, have your wedding party and cake... but skip signing the fucking contract with the government).
Not hard people.
Ps. There are LTRs, MLTRs, and OLTRs
These terms add sharpness and clarity to your thinking judgment abilities
You provide no evidence and simply ask the reader to believe you.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage-divorce.html
Half. Yes statistically it goes up with each subsequent marriage, but if your dumb enough the odds are never in your favor.
I'm not advocating marriage, I said if you want it work for it. Find a mate and be the alpha.
[–]Mangoinhand1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's amazing how a coin toss level of confidence is the best we can do.
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Awesome reply, thank you. What would the tactical advice be for locking her down?
[–]H42 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The strategic advice is if you are less than 32yo, you need to keep your focus on yourself and not get into an LTR.
So the tactical advice is to plate her and get two more plates into your rotation.
[–]nofappist1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Abundance mentality my friend. You are the price. You can't lock her down, she has to lock you down. She has to prove herself worthy of being in a relationship with you. You're a valuable man with valuable time, not all girls are worth your commitment. Sure, you can probably make a relationship happen if you talk to her about it but the more she has to work for it, the more she is going to value your commitment.
Adding to that, locking her down isn't going to stop her from hanging out with other men. She's not yours to keep, it's just your turn to have her.
Your girl knows she has options. You need to show her that you have options too or the dynamic of the relationship will suffer. If she knows that you can hook up with Blonde Bigtit Bella anytime she hangs out with Chad Thundercock late at night, you'll have a level playing field. Too many times I've seen girls with boyfriends seek out other guys (usually me if they don't know I'm in an LTR - annoying as fuck considering their boyfriends tend to don't like me after that) at parties to cuddle (or worse, more), while their boys sat jealously watching. Don't be the jealous boyfriend, show her that if she strays you won't miss her one bit.
This got long, it's kind of a mind dump, but I wish you good luck.
[–]ImamMahdi3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She could be just trying to get your attention and trying to get you to react (shit test i think they call it here)
And she might not have done anything with the guy, but tried to make you jealous or get a reaction from you like "Did you do anything with him?" or for you to be shocked, etc.
But like others said, you didn't react and handled it well in your own words.
This all sounds pretty obvious..so probably not the best advice.
I personally think you should just keep being yourself and go along with whatever you were doing before....you can be less available like the top commenter said.
But I also think that if you GHOST her completely for awhile ( a week), that could be a reaction that she wanted....she might think that you were upset or felt wronged or jealous and won't tell her your feelings upfront, so now you are maintaining distance and trying to make her feel bad and trying to get a reaction out of her in return.
I don't know, i'm not an expert and the advice others have given is pretty solid.
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Awesome point cause it makes sense the way you say it. Would like others input to this? Thank you for all the great responses man.
He's right. It is a shit test, but she still could be planning on fucking him (or already did)
Either way your attitude should be "Cool, have fun!" Internally and externally.
There is no punishment or ghosting to be given since she didn't disrespect you or give you drama. She is free to do what she wants with her time and body as she pleases.
Carry on... and follow the texting advice in my earlier comment here and lift and spin more plates.
[–]throw174536 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
and have been texting every day
There's one problem. Be Less Available.
You could try ghosting her for a week, or more, you'd be amazed the effect that can have.
And if she doesn't message you, try to initiate contact, apologise, act confused, upset, conflicted... "I really want to talk to you" "I miss you..." "did I do something wrong?" etc. then next, or drop feelings you have for her and relegate to sex only.
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You know what, that seems worth trying. Thanks!
[–]harkrank points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Worth trying if you wanna get tossed out like a paper sack. Those texts are pathetic.
[–]throw174532 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Those texts are what he should be getting from her, when he ghosts. NOT what he should be sending her.
Do not fucking message her with any of that shit. You will put the final nail in the coffin.
Aloof. Light hearted. Short but funny replies (dont try hard tho).
Only text her if it is to get her on your calendar. Otherwise the only time YOU text her is to REPLY to the texts that SHE initiated.
I think he means, that it's her who should write those texts, if I start ghosting her.
[–]throw174531 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Indeed, had thought that was obvious!
[–]ArkAngelEV0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True this. YOU are the Englishg Premier League and she is Newcastle. Her ass gets relegated with no hopes of getting promoted in the future. You can still entertain friendly matches, but it's nothing serious
[–]Adam_and_Jay 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you need to read the sidebar...
Plate this chick, start seeing other women, have an abundance mentality, and you won't care when she inevitably branch swings and lands on top of another dick because you're already fucking two or three other women.
[–]pokergentleman1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense. However this is one of my first serious lays for a very long time. I'm not in any abundance at all right now, which is, like you say, probably why I react like I do.
[–]Adam_and_Jay 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Even if you don't have abundance in reality, best to keep your frame as if you do, start hitting up random girls and trying to schedule some dates so that you begin to believe you have abundance. Fake it until you make it and all that.
Im going to keep replying to your comments since you are still not getting what the other commenters are saying. Please devour the sidebar and start pounding the weights.
It only took me 180 days to become lean and fit and lose 60 pounds and get serious definition (p90x back to back twice baby!). You will understand and feel amazed you get there in a few short months.
[–]pokergentleman1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate your replies man. However, there's nothing wrong with my "self worth" if that's what you're getting at - I lift 3x a week, look good and am in general highly thought of by girls - I just never chased them and such don't have any other plates to spin. This is of course what I'd also like to change though.
[–]nofappist0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No need to have abundance, fake it till you make it. Men can also hamster, use it if you must to deflect harmful reactions to setbacks.
[–]1StuttBuffer0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ghost that girl. 1 week absolute minimum.
You are the prize motherfucker.
She probably is fucking him. If that bothers you, then she loses the prize.
If it doesn't bother you, then she can have the prize temporarily while you are satisfied in her other "performances".
Lift motherfucker. You wouldn't care if you were so fit that you had a harem where each fucks and sucks you off every week.
Ive got 5 girls... it does hurt a bit when one drops off or I get "micro-oneitis" over a mew potential plate.... for about 5 minutes (trying to get this down to 1 second or nothing)
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So if it bothers me, she loses the prize (me) - true. But why would that be good? Can You clarify?
Because she isn't for you.
She's replaceable.
Right around the corner is a woman that is younger, more attractive, and totally into you that doesn't give you half the shit she does.
You will enjoy Blackdragon's free Podcast titled "She's replaceable"
[–]Lsegundo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
you should be dating either 0 or more than 2 women. If you had someone else you wouldn't be sweating her. Then if she wants to get exclusive you are coming from a place of abundance. You can choose to stop seeing other plates or know that she isn't a next level chic for you and move on easily. Its a good sign that she tried to get in touch with you after her date. She still could have fucked him.
Do you all work together? Don't shit where you eat. Dating at work is bad. A love triangle is 100x worse.
We work together yes, but it's in a big call center. Today three hours ago, after work I fucked her in the bathroom. We only talked briefly during a break, then after work I pulled her inside the bathroom. She's since texted me "you destroyed me" and FB'ed me but I haven't responded yet.
[–]Lsegundo2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Funny I was just in another thread and something similar came up. The "my vag is still sore" messages followed by hearts and kisses always confuse me. I am happy to oblige though.
You should start reading some of the posts around here about separating your work and love life. If things go wrong in a work romance they go REALLY wrong.
I actually quit last week and have my last day in march. Wonder what the girls mean with those vag messages though?
[–]Lsegundo0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It means they like it when you fuck them like you are trying to break them. They want to be sore the next day. If I am sore after playing sports it doesn't make the game better for me. That is the part that is confusing to me. I guess they like some discomfort.
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right. Yeah of course it's great they write it. Just funny in a way they have to mention it. Not complaining tho!
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[–]partdopy113 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]someonecallamedic points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]someonecallamedic points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]someonecallamedic points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]H42 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]nofappist1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ImamMahdi3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]throw174536 points7 points8 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]harkrank points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]throw174532 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throw174531 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ArkAngelEV0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Adam_and_Jay 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Adam_and_Jay 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nofappist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1StuttBuffer0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mangoinhand points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Lsegundo0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lsegundo2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokergentleman0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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