In an attempt to dissect everything that occurred to me last night I will be as thorough as possible and detail why I believed things played out the way they did. As the Title suggests I was given the line "I don't cheat, I'm not that guy" by the lady in question whom shall be herein referenced as IDCINTG and can assure you that yes...yes you are that guy.

I will state early on that while I have read everything on the sidebar and lurked for some time I am in the food service industry and co-worker inter-relations are per the norm. I have never "shit where i eat" in any other industry nor do I endorse it; just hoping to not get down-voted into oblivion because of the following tale

-The Facts-

*1. IDCINTG is in a relationship with a co-worker (Bob).

*2. IDCINTG has several male orbiters who have been friend-zoned HARD.

*3. I have spent a number of occasions with IDCINTG in a larger group and always watched while the social interactions unfold. We're friendly but I've never fawned over her as I watch her orbiters do so. (I love to people-watch and am fascinated by social dynamics).

*4. I am a 5'5 28 M; 21% bodyfat; working out regularly the past 10 years; cutting back down to 14% (next goal).

-The Setup-

Things end at work which is the usual meeting area to go to the local bar; IDCINTG and female friend have been drinking prior and the 3 of us have been waiting for everyone else to finish up. They sit across from each other and I'm sitting next to her at a table. The two of us leave to smoke a cigarette and in the elevator ride get asked to have a private conversation. (I consider myself to be "The Advisor" as described by the website "illimitablemen" and find that most people will open up to me about any number of things and what I do with it is for my own gain) IDCINTG tells me she's unhappy in her relationship and she's talking to some guy on snapchat she doesn't know. Upon asking how she couldn't know said person she informs me that she has a Tinder account "for funsies" and posted her Instagram/Snapchat information. IDCINTG believes her boyfriend is cheating or up to no good and is justified in her behavior because "He's doesn't know, but I know what he's doing". I reply with the same statement I've given her before. "You need to make yourself the priority. If you're not happy, do something about it...or bash your head on the wall the way you continue to, the headache looks like it's working out for yah". (By no means do I think I've been trying to game her up to this point, but I made sure that from the time we'd first met that kino became a regular happening just in case I wanted to push...so lets). "WAIT! I KNOW! He gives you butterflies doesn't he?" I make the statement and place my hand on her stomach. "You get the feels right here and Bob isn't giving them to you. You know what feeling I'm talking about". We return to the others and make our way to the bar after I'm asked if I'm sure things are just between us on the DL. (The rest of our conversation was her looking for confirmation that her actions did not make her a bad person and I was reassured she has not/will not cheat as she is "not that guy")

There are easily 8-10 of us at the bar, including 2 of IDCINTG's orbiters, however Bob is no where to be found and IDCINTG has no ride home. I pull up a seat at an empty 4 top adjacent to one occupied by our group and the rest seat themselves around me. Low and behold after everyone pulls up a chair I find IDCINTG has sat beside me and light kino ends with her comfortably resting her arm against mine. While everyone around us is slamming drinks (I'm not much of a drinker) I'm still halfway through my first at which point she exclaims that she is in a shitty place and wants to leave. She asks me for a ride (I've frequented her house a number of times) and I ask if she's got any whiskey at her place if I'm going to leave this group...game on.

Once we get in the car IDCINTG is bitching...and bitching about Bob. Bob abandoned her tonight and she hasn't been fucked in 2 weeks and all she wants to do is get fucked and she's got to beg this guy to put out. (She re-stated this at least 4 times on the 15 minute drive) I regurgitate my earlier statement about taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs. IDCINTG insists that she's done with him. All the while leg touch, arm touch, kino, kino, kino (If she is complaining about not being fucked...and is going to mention it that hard I know that if I play a tight game I can debunk her "I never cheat" statement.)

A neat whiskey in each of our hands we wind up in her backyard sitting across from one another in patio chairs with a small table with an ashtray. "Am I a bad person?" IDCINTG asked. "Yes." I replied. She looks dumbfounded. "Am i a bad person?" she repeats. "YES!" I assure her that she is a bad person. "But why?" IDCINTG really can't seem to understand why the scenario she's currently in makes her a bad person. With a shit eating grin and a stifled laugh I manage to get out "Because it's 3am and you're drinking alone with another man!" (I don't know if it was because I didn't give a fuck, or because I just straight up called her on her shit but it was when I knew I had control of the situation). There is a short silence when I reinitiate with the line she got from her snapchat friend. "I can see the bdsm in you" we both laugh and I transition to asking her "Have you ever been tied up?" "No" IDCINTG replied "...but I'd like to be." I smile hard, shake my head and lean back in my seat. She asks why I'm grinning and I tell her "You shouldn't make statements like that when I've got rope in my car". "Why? Do you want to use it?" IDCINTG asked with one of the most coquettish gazes I'd seen "Absolutely, but that's a bad decision" I grin. "I'm THE QUEEN of Bad Decsions!" she retorted. I go to my car and come back with the aforementioned rope. "Even more dangerous then...because I endorse them" As our conversation takes place I smoke a number of cigarettes; the first she asks me for a drag and returns it. By now I'm up to my 3rd or 4th (yea i chain smoke when I drink) and she's taken it from me without so much as a word. I look at her like I would a child who'd just put their hand in the cookie jar "Excuse me? Not even going to ask?" I take the cigarette back acting offended. "If you want a cigarette you can get on your knee's and beg me for it" (concrete patio area) "On the ground?" IDCINTG has gone full on doe eyed and complies hurriedly. "May I have a drag of your cigarette?" she asked. "please?" i say. "please?" she adds. "sir." i finish. "sir." she squeaks out..."string it all together now" (As this back and forth plays out I'm leaning back enjoying my cigarette like it's the best god damn one to ever exist) "May I have a drag of your cigarette?please?sir." IDCINTG is on her knee's begging me for a cigarette, calling me sir, completely ready. "Yes..." I take a drag on the cigarette and lean in as if to exhale the smoke into her mouth and start making out...within minutes i had her bent over, hands against her house...needless to say after 5-10 minutes there I grab the rope and tell her to go upstairs to her room and proceeded to bang the bejesus out of her for the next hour. (when girls squirt it's so easy to know when you've done your job and just how often)

This afternoon after heading home I get a text from her "I'm weak"...turns out she's not breaking up with him. She also has to work with him in 5 hours with a neck that looks like it suffered a velociraptor attack....wait...this part is a little fucking crazy. I ask her what her game plan is as what happened is super fucking DL status (a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell...especially when you work with Bob and IDCINTG) and she tells me she's considering burning herself with her flat iron as a reason for having a mark...She was ready to inflict physical pain on herself to avoid the emotional conflict of both initiating a breakup and admitting she cheated.

tl;dr AWALT even if a woman says she will never/has never cheated, all it takes is the right behavior and words to get to the chink that's in every set of armor

Please feel free to comment, criticize, etc I'm no master, but I'm trying to apply what I know and see things for what they really are.