tl;dr: If you've always been that nice guy, gtfo of your comfort zone by being a little cocky.

Summary: I'll always praise the book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy" because it has helped me unplugged from the illusions of this world. One of my issues of being a recovering "nice guy" was that I had trouble with my confidence. I mean, I could talk to women but I had trouble with game, escalating, or kino. Even though, I felt that I've been quite successful with online dating, it clouded my vision of being where I want to be and executing the way I wanted to. It wasn't until I got shut down, and felt those beta tendencies and feelings come back instantly, because a girl that I met on a first date did not felt I was confident enough.

Body: So what did I do? I got up and go back on that saddle. I met another girl through an online dating site. She was cute, but nothing jaw dropping; an HB7. I followed my typical routine, most of which was learned from TRP, which was to keep text and communication as a logistic means of getting shit done (setting up a date, etc.,.).

We talked on the phone for the first time. She tried calling me once, but I was at the gym and although I was resting from a set and could've easily answered, I didn't. I ignored it and pushed it off to the next time she had called, when I as actually free. Light flirtation ensued, and I made sure to quick-witted on certain things but change things up a bit. I became cocky.

Being confident about myself, even though I've lost weight and having been on many dates, have been difficult for me. Being arrogant without being too much of an asshole enabled me to be outside of my comfort zone.

Once outside of my comfort zone, we decided to meet. We met up over drinks and flirtation began. I approached her again with my cocky, arrogant attitude saying shit like...

"I'm probably... no wait, I am sure that I am the most interesting man you've met all week."

"you look a bit nervous, I would be too if I showing how interested I was in somebody"

"I think you need another glass of wine, your butterflies are showing"

I said all of these things while looking at her dead in the eye with the biggest grin I've ever had on my face. I'm not going to lie, at that point, I felt like the biggest champ on the fucking planet. I was able to apply kino and escalate things. Even batting down shit test were easy. We decide to go to the next bar, and as we were walking, I mentioned... "I can tell you're having a great time"

Her: What do you mean /u/adcoord? Me: "Yeah, because if you weren't enjoying yourself, you wouldn't have suggested that drink and would've walked away." Her: "Oh... really?" Me: "Yup."

She stood still. Beta me would've said "OKAY, JK SORRY, I DIDN'T ME IT. LET'S GO." To be honest, at one point, I felt like I should've done that. Did I? No. I kept walking and parked my ass into the bar. Ordered my drink, and before my bartender handed me my drink, she ran in and wrapped her arms around me. She ordered herself a drink, and paid the tab.

Lessons Learned:

  • If you're aren't confident, try being cocky or arrogant. Get outside of your damn comfort size, and apply a IDGAF mentality.
  • It doesn't matter how confident you are, shit-tests will come. If you aren't used to it, you better be ready to bat them down -- no matter how much of a champ you feel. I actually think the more confident you are, the more women will test you. Are you going to walk, the walk or do you just talk, the talk?

She's been texting me and calling me ever since, trying to get my attention. I reply when I feel like it. She tells me that she feels safe away with me, because I offer her that confidence and she knows I don't take any bullshit or play games.

I still have a ways to go, but doing this as an experiment worked for me, and has made me more comfortable.