Cheating , how do you stop it from happening?

MagicGainbow · 2014-02-17T06:08:43+00:00

There is nothing you can really do to 'stop cheating' as a rule. Cheating happens. Younger women are tempted with almost endless choice, if you find them attractive chances are a lot of other guys do too. The only way you can really avoid cheating is to be more desirable than the other guys and to hold your frame the entire time. Don't let her shit test you into pushing the boundaries "Oh, i'm just going out for drinks with him, he's just a friend" and know when to defend yourself on the issue and when to be confident. Note I say be confident, not be trusting. I really do think this 'trusting' shit often encourages guys to shut their eyes to the obvious, so what you must do in some situations is be confident, trust in your own attractiveness, but never shut your eyes to the obvious bullshit.

The reality is, even if you following all the rules women will still cheat on you. After a period of time they will grow content with their situation and look for new excitement, whats more important is to how to learn to be cheated on and how to act when it happens.

Edit, I have a follow up post and since I can't make threads i'll post it here. Its on ignoring the social blame game of finding your partner cheating

I'll use a real life example. One of my best friends suspected his partner of cheating, she went out one night, told him where she was going and he didn't believe her. (it had been going on a while) So he asked me to go with him to follow her, which we did. We went to the place she supposedly was going to and found her car wasn't there. Obviously he couldn't find her to he went home. He didn't mention it to her and then worked on finding out what is going on. She kept all her stuff password protected but he managed to get into her email account. All of her inbox was clean, as was her outbox but she forgot to delete the emails in drafts which of course had incriminating evidence (only 2 emails, but it was enough).

He came clean with her and told her how he found out, but instead of it being about the fact he found her cheating it was about him "going through her email" and she threw a fit blaming him for being a psycho following her. About 2 weeks later It actually got back to me on the grape vine that I was involved in 'stalking her' and not the fact that she got caught sleeping with another man.

I've noticed this shaming a lot, people seem to place equal blame "Well he went through her phone and caught her cheating, so he didn't trust her, what an ass". My advice is ignore this social haze. It is all full of agendas. If you have good reason to believe someone is cheating then do yourself a favour and find out.

rebuildingMyself · 2014-02-17T08:30:12+00:00

If you weren't official, she wasn't cheating. Stop overreacting.

That being said I don't do anything to "stop" cheating except strive to be the best I can be, hold my frame, establish (and enforce) boundaries, and hold a zero tolerance policy for infidelity.

monsieurhire2 · 2014-02-17T08:25:40+00:00

"before we were officially Dating she slept with a guy"

This happened to me twice that I know of. Just goes to show how slatternly they are. What, they can't wait a few weeks without fucking some random guy to see where a new relationship is going? In the first case, the girl thought that I wasn't interested in her because I was busy with graduate school. In the second case, the girl and I decided, after a few dates, that we wouldn't be good for each other, but then we wound up going out anyway because we had strong physical chemistry.

In the first case, I reacted with bemusement, and then said, "Well, I guess we're not monogamous then." She didn't like that. It ended a few weeks later.

In the second case, I also reacted with bemusement, and told her that she had really low self-esteem and needed to learn how to go without sex. She agreed with me and appeared monogamous for the rest of the relationship, although women are excellent liars, so who knows? I have better things to do than play detective.

However, if I were married to someone, this would be a source of annoyance.

JungleMuffin · 2014-02-17T12:13:00+00:00

How the fuck is it cheating, if she fucked someone before you were even "together"?

2014-02-17T14:11:50+00:00

The closest you can get to "Stopping" cheating from happening, and its still not 100% is to completely overpower her SMV.

Take up with a girl who is so far below your standards that your overwhelming marketplace firepower means she knows she cannot possibly do better or replace you should you leave.

But trust me, you dont want to do this. So you're gonna have to deal with the idea that she's probably gonna cheat, and you're gonna have to know how to react and not to end up in a tailspin.

Once again the answer is, as always, lift more, spin more plates.

ThumpNuts · 2014-02-17T06:54:25+00:00

You don't per se. Cheating will happen independent of you and is mainly subject to her own personality. That's not to say you can do nothing to prevent it but the bigger issue is finding someone whose own personality goes along with being faithful. Problem with that is we are all everchanging so the her today will not be the her in a year.

There are things you can do to prevent cheating such as being desirable, always keeping her on her toes, letting her know you'll leave if any cheating is discovered, etc. But this is all minor compared to initially selecting someone not prone to cheating.

Also, it wasn't.

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-02-17T06:26:20+00:00

All the answers you seek are on the side bar ------------------------------------------------->

You should first focus on yourself and improve your SMV.

From your statement you have yet to swallow the red pill. Read the articles, digest the information, and think about what will make you happy.

pewpewing · 2014-02-17T07:13:57+00:00

Don't next her if you weren't official at the time. Let it be a reminder to not let your guard down, though.

DarkSayed · 2014-02-17T08:58:28+00:00

you can't prevent cheating really. It's ingrained as being so-and-so, not a major crime in modern western society.

I'd guess most women will cheat if they think they can get away with it.

awzor · 2014-02-17T10:44:09+00:00

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carolinadreams · 2014-02-17T16:13:41+00:00

Read Athol Kay's marriedmansexlife.com. It works for all relationships.

Dumping a girl for something she did BEFORE you were 'official' (whatever that means) is a bit weird don't you think?

2014-02-17T09:31:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-02-17T14:15:49+00:00

Why do you give two shits about what she did before you?

It's what she does with you that matters. When she cheats, FWB her ass and move on.

It's not that hard.

2014-02-17T14:15:59+00:00

Why do you give two shits about what she did before you?

It's what she does with you that matters. When she cheats, FWB her ass and move on.

It's not that hard.

LukeMooney · 2014-02-17T16:21:38+00:00

Expect your woman to be a woman, the problem is especially prominent with attractive women, as they're offered dick constantly.

Drama, give her enough of it and she won't cheat (probably). This is gonna sound a bit sick, but, the guys whose girls don't cheat seem to be over aggressive, borderline abusive dick heads, so although I wouldn't recommend domestic violence, it probably has its uses.

You must be the biggest alpha in her life at all times willing to fuck her. As soon as she's offered an upgrade, she'll cheat. As soon as your back is turned and she hasn't had enough drama from you, she'll make some herself, and even entertain men that are less worthy than you are.

In conclusion I'd recommend being a complete cunt about 10% of the time. Horrible 40%. Indifferent 49%. And nice to her 1%. That 1% will keep her trying to work out how to please you.

darkmode2 · 2014-02-17T21:11:48+00:00

Dominate her, enslave her sexualy make her crave you give her the best orgasm she ever had, this is the best way to prevent cheating i found.

if you enslave her sexuely she cant cheat even if she want to logicly, her body will be yours.

http://mattforney.com/2014/02/03/how-to-crush-a-girls-self-esteem/

that_czech_dude · 2014-02-17T23:41:28+00:00

In my book: if you weren't official and exclusive, then you weren't monogamous unit, and thus she didn't cheated.

This has really torn me up

I know that contempt, the same beta feeling. It's like when you find out her slutty sexual history.(e.g. in my case 30+ guys) ...dude, it's toxic thinking for you. Drop it. What happened, happened. Nobody can't undo it.

How do you make sure this sh it doesn't happen

The strategy is simple. Be bold, try to be interesting (not lazy fuck) and you'll up your chances of her not cheating. No paper, no social contract, no ring, no high amount of own children will rule it out.

nicknameminaj · 2014-02-18T02:12:06+00:00

Sounds like it wasn't actually cheating.

2014-02-18T03:07:59+00:00

The less attention whorey, the less sluttily dressed, the less a girl goes out, the less likely she is to cheat. The odds will never be 0.

Paradoxically, I've found that the girls that need the least male validation tend to be the best genetically good looking girls (ie discounting makeup and dress), because they've received so much validation all throughout their lives they don't need any more.

Of course, there are far more really good looking, but shitty girls.

fasterfind · 2014-02-22T15:15:05+00:00

Girls sleep around, guys sleep around. She just shared something deep with you. So, man up about it. This is the exact moment when a beta would break and think a girl is too crazy.

Also, there is no way to stop cheating. Cheating happens, find peace with it, even embrace it. I've been cheated on a few times, and the fascinating thing is that I don't give a damn anymore. At the time, it hurt like hell. Today, I tell a girlfriend that she should occasionally date some other dude and even fuck around a little bit. I like my girls with confidence, skills, and the knowledge of what pleases them.

TLDR; Don't even let yourself begin to feel intimidated because of 'cheating', and don't even call it cheating. It's natural behavior. Get real with it.

curiusblue · 2014-02-17T06:54:17+00:00

Take charge. This is not only sexually, but it always relates back to sexuality. When you do something especially take chargish let her know that you know it turns her on.

Get her equating those feelings of desire solely with submitting to YOU. I don't reccomend this unless you want a serious committed relationship. Doing this to a plate would likely give her damage when you drop her.

-Tyler_Durden- · 2014-02-17T06:11:20+00:00

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carolinadreams · 2014-02-17T17:22:53+00:00

Select a mate with a low dick count, as the number of partners goes up so does the odds of infidelity.
Screen for mental illness and childhood sexual abuse.
Look very closely at the family dynamic, how the mother and father treat each other, it will shape the woman's fundamental and even subconscious assumptions.
If you make it to the engagement phase make sure there are clear boundaries, even shit that you think should never had to be said.
No girls nights out.
Complete transparency on cell phones, emails, social media.
No opposite sex friends.
Participation in meaningful activities or organizations that give a healthy sense of self identity.

Statistically over half of marriages are going to end in divorce, and the numbers seem to be rising and suggest that the majority of marriages will experience infidelity.

Between the demise of normative forces, the rise of the entitlement message to women, and the ease of connection facilitated by the internet - unless extraordinary measures are taking at some point the safe bet is to assume your woman is going to climb on top of another dude at some point and milk the bull.

Title	Cheating , how do you stop it from happening?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	60
Date	February 17, 2014 6:04 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1y4is0/cheating_how_do_you_stop_it_from_happening/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/cheating-how-do-you-stop-it-from-happening.11441 https://theredarchive.com/post/11441

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