Dealing with the fat friend?

Beware_Bravado · 2014-05-19T07:38:36+00:00

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Darth_Pete · 2014-05-19T02:41:33+00:00

Oh gawd, I absolutely HATE the fat friend. They are so toxic and can literally ruin the relationship. [source - me]

The solution - don't date girls with fat whales as friends.

In my state of mind now, a fat friend is a red flag, just like kids, feminist ideology, history of attempted suicide, "having mostly guy friends, daddy issues, etc.

Red Flags - approach with caution, and if willing, only spin as a plate. Do not proceed to a LTR, do not pass go, do not collect 200$.

Trpdoc · 2014-05-19T04:09:24+00:00

My LTR is basically ending bc of a fat friend. I told my LTR that taking the advice of said fatty is like me taking financial advice from the homeless guy down the street. I think that resonated with her

cptar1 · 2014-05-19T03:27:28+00:00

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stop_talking_ · 2014-05-19T03:53:56+00:00

The fat friend feels jealousy that her hotter friend is getting attention. Flirt with both of them, play off their competitive dynamic, escalate with both of them then close with the hot one. Win/win

chill_geddy · 2014-05-19T02:52:47+00:00

i would give her the annoying little sister treatment no use of fighting fire with fire. And if she really tries to bullhead you tell her to fall the fuck back

troubadour1492 · 2014-05-19T08:15:42+00:00

To deal with the fat friend, you need:

5 lb. cylinder of propane gas
regulator
hose
striker
modified weed burner torch
backpack straps

Attach the torch to the hose, attach the hose to the regulator, and screw the regulator into the propane cylinder. Attach straps to the cylinder, and strap unit onto your back for convenient carrying.

When you encounter the fat friend, crack open the regulator and apply striker to torch until you get a small blue flame. Ask fat friend to leave. If she does not comply, open the regulator wide, and apply torch to fat friend.

Once you have applied enough heat, the friend's fat will begin melting and catching fire on its own. Sit back and watch the pounds melt away. Be prepared to stand there a long time.

If you can stand the flavor, you can take marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers to make a delicious treat to eat in front of the cuter girl. She will probably want a s'more, but there is a chance she will be freaking out that you just melted her friend and caught her on fire. In the event that happens, oh well, there are other fish in the sea. Try to find one who doesn't have fat friends, and thus avoid this problem.

badpig · 2014-05-19T03:34:25+00:00

You need a friend named George. George the Dragon-Slayer. Sick him on the fat chick whilst you defile the hottie.

Alternatively as has already been mentioned you could just bounce. Keeping an undesirable as a close associate can definitely be a Red Flag.

acedelgado · 2014-05-19T04:27:25+00:00

Once again, comedy explains the TRP response (via Stephen Lynch)

http://youtu.be/c1WuwAWHNqU

Tl;dr

Keep at least one "friend" with no standards to jump on the grenade for you. If the land whale is getting her cock she doesn't have time to be mad that her friends are getting theirs.

2014-05-19T11:18:18+00:00

Order food. Eat some of it. Offer her the rest.

walkingthelinux · 2014-05-19T05:15:33+00:00

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HeadingRed · 2014-05-19T16:21:03+00:00

In my younger hyper blue pills days twice I had chatted up and asked out the hotter of the two and each time the FF came along. Each time they attempted a "hand off with me".

I remember hanging out with a fairly hot girl and her FF getting drunk. The girl I was interested in finally started getting close, playful tickle etc. I moved in for the kiss and she went for it, then she moved my face to her FF. I went back to her my 19 year old ass thinking "holy shit, threesome?!?!" Nope, kept on handing me off.

My pride would not allow me to bang the FF. Not my "she's not good enough" pride, just didn't want to catch shit for it from my friends later.

Fun fact- the FF joined the Army and got crazy buff. One day she walks into my store, says hi, I don't know who it is but then I figure it out. She smiles and leaves- just wanted to rub it in.

Can't say as I blame her and like that she made a point of it- made me think about getting myself together a bit more.

rpkarma · 2014-05-19T08:40:34+00:00

I was lucky. I convinced my girl her fat slut (n of 100+, not even joking. all of them islanders for the most part) bitch of a friend was indeed the horrible person she deep down knew she was, but never saw on the surface. The whale hated my guts, and said to my girl "Him or me!"

We're still together in an awesome relationship and we haven't heard from the narwhal since.

MrMagwitch · 2014-05-19T15:29:00+00:00

cascadecombo · 2014-05-19T05:21:56+00:00

That is what we have wingmen for.

DarkSayed · 2014-05-19T07:26:17+00:00

Up vote for the name.

wall-of-meth · 2014-05-19T18:17:36+00:00

Fat friends want to leech off the attention the hotter ones get and the hotter ones use them to feel better or to show how "good of a person" they are.

Don't even start talking to them. Ignore them in every situation possible. Entitled whales are worst case and immense cockblocks.

Ideally, hot girls only have hot friends because they know their value and use it to attract similar thinking/looking females. Just as you as man are supposed to surround yourself with high value people. It just shows a healthy understanding of one self.

culofiesta · 2014-05-19T20:00:03+00:00

Put them in their place right off. If the friend leaves you're better off without her.

The fat friend will always run you down anyway. May as well give her a reason. More than likely her friend feels obligated to be with her and will understand.

Example- Years ago, when I was 20 or so I was at a roller rink (yes, I'm that old) and a cute girl would pass by me and smile every time. Finally I sat down on the side and whenever cute girl would pass by I'd point and give her the "come here" finger gesture.

After several laps her fat friend skates over, plops her big butt down next to me and giggles "You wanted to see me?"

Ugh I grimaced, "No, I was pointing at your friend and was motioning for her to come over. Go get her." Fatty waddles off on shaky skates and her friend comes over. We went out a couple of times, even met her family, but she wasn't my type and there wasn't a third date.

Misteralcala · 2014-05-30T04:24:19+00:00

Never fly solo. In my day, I was the wingman that jumped on the grenade, and I say that with pride.

I got WAY more tail than my other friends because I had no shame and would just have fun. Sure, a lot of them were overweight and plain looking, but they were happy to get it and VERY accommodating.

Several times I also ended up with the hotter girls on later meetups (girls talk).

Sure, we all want to get the hot cheerleader, but what I learned is that pussy is pussy. And honestly, some of the more plain looking girls were butterfaces with amazing bodies and fat girls give the BEST head. My experiences as the grenade-jumping wingman really made me a lot more open to average / plain looking girls and I realized that the hot ones really weren't all that.

2014-05-19T02:38:20+00:00

Tell him the facts ... he WILL die slow and painful death unless he changes his lifestyle.

Title	Dealing with the fat friend?
Author	triglyceridesuicide
Upvotes	20
Comments	44
Date	May 19, 2014 2:26 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/25wrh7/dealing_with_the_fat_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dealing-with-the-fat-friend.15548 https://theredarchive.com/post/15548

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