It was 2013, I had just graduated from high school. No real sense of direction in life, I had decided to work for a while until I figured things out. First job I landed was working at a Mexican restuarant (I'm a Mexican American) washing dishes and cooking food.
Work was tough, sometimes I'd work 12 hour days, day dreaming of all the things I could achieve if I got to work on them. Maybe I'd start classes at the local community college and see how things went? Within time, I became miserable at this job, getting home with beans and other food in my hair from washing dishes. Daydreaming, working, exhaused, I did this for a year with no clear goals. Maybe I'd become a waiter and make more money? Who knows.
Then I got to know one of my coworkers, Francisco. Francisco was upbeat, energetic, hard working, and very masculine. All around alpha male. He was an immigrant who'd only been in the US for 2 years but he spoke excellent English. For reference, my dad had been in the US for over 20 years and never learned as much as Francisco.
Francisco would switch between working as a waiter, line cook, food preparation, you name it and he was excellent at it. When he'd work in the kitchen, he'd tell me funny stories of his times with women and would give me, some pimply faced 18 year old kid, brotherly advice on life. I now reflect on some of the things that I admired of him and that made him an alpha male.
You see, when you grow up in this country, societal expectations can have a strong influence on your thoughts and beliefs that can lead to internal pressure to want to achieve. This pressure can create a lot of inner turmoil, keeping you distracted from the day to day tasks that are just as important as long term goals. The turmoil can become so great that you procrastinate or end up giving up on your long term goals all together.
But when you're an immigrant, you see things differently. I noticed Francisco had something my other co workers didn't: he was grateful. The other workers had a saying in spanish: "Asi es la vida, hay que trabajar, no hay de otra." (That's how life is, we need to work, there's no other option). Everyone looked down on the jobs they were working, with discontent at where they ended up. Some of the workers (many Americans) had been there for 20 years. While we were all miserable at our low positions in society, Francisco was bettering himself.
As many workers had the mindset of "I'm some miserable line cook at a dead end Mexican restaurant", he saw things differently. He'd say things like "If you're going to do something, do it well" or "Why are those guys always complaining? We don't have to work here, we get to work here." He didn't fret that he was at a dead end job; he was grateful for it. He owned that shit. He knew his place in society and worked hard to climb higher. Sure, he was a waiter, but he made sure he was the damn best waiter in the entire restaurant. I saw the guy go work on his GED and English classes after long shifts, happy to learn and improve his life. No pressure, he was grateful just to have the opportunity to be in this country. He was living his life with meaning and intention.
Many of you might be facing similar struggles, myself included. Maybe you're holding a temporary job while you search for something better in your life. You might feel like you need to do this or that, or wish you had more time and discipline. But I want to point out the biggest lesson I learned from all this: You don't have to do anything! Seriously. If you want to be a couch potato and play video games all day, you can! You don't need to show up for work tomorrow. You can stop working out, eating right, sleeping good. Are there consequences if you stop? You bet your ass there is. But the lesson still stands: you don't have to do anything. When I figured this out, that inner pressure went away.
So why bother doing anything? The answer is simple: meaning and intention. What is your meaning and what do you intend to do to get there? Is it to find a challenging and rewarding career? Achieve a physique you've never achieved before? Finish that college degree? What're you truely capable of?
TL;DR: Live your life with meaning and intention, even for the mundane everyday tasks. Be grateful you have another day to work towards your dreams and goals. Realize that you don't have to do anything; you get to.
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