Does humility and a self-depricating sense of humor have any place in an Alpha?

W-Z-R · 2013-07-26T12:42:00+00:00

Humility yes, self-depreciation no (unless you're literally the president/CEO of a fortune 100 company). The thing about humility is that it can be done in a way which implies even higher value, if you have some success I've always come to the conclusion that people who are boastful about it have little success in their lives, whereas people who literally act like it's nothing are so much more high value and successful.

TRPsubmitter · 2013-07-26T13:48:10+00:00

Sure it can. One of the best ways to disarm a girl is to do it in an obviously facetious way.

"Oh, well I better be careful around you...I'm a really innocent guy"

"Hey slow down! I wanna get to know you on an intellectual level before jumping into bed!"

"Oh, you're from _____? Those girls are scary...I better run away!"

"Oh my muscles? Nah, I actually got plastic surgery!"

All of these are obviously followed by a wink or shit-eating grin. So it's all in humor.

VZPurp · 2013-07-26T14:45:25+00:00

Self-deprecation always works against you if your audience consists of women. They will take it literally on some level, and assess you negatively for it. Unless the girl has some mental problems and needs to feed off your despair (I've met at least one!), you want nothing to do with self-deprecation. And even then, if she is like that, you have an even bigger problem - putting your dick in the mother of all crazy.

Humility. Just don't brag. It comes across as try-hard.

[deleted] · 2013-07-26T13:33:54+00:00

Self deprecating humor can be very effective in my experience. I use it all the time, mostly overly sarcastic jokes about how awesome I am. E.g. the other day I was in bed with a girl and I was joking that she only wanted me for my grecian physique (I'm kinda fat).

Nutz76 · 2013-07-26T13:57:56+00:00

Generally, no.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/16/sorry/

Iron Rule of Tomassi #9

Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance. This is a Kiss of Death that you self-initiate and is the antithesis of the Prize Mentality. Once you’ve accepted yourself and presented yourself as a “complete douche” there’s no going back to confidence with a woman. Never appeal to a woman’s sympathies. Her sympathies are given by her own volition, never when they are begged for – women despise the obligation of sympathy. Nothing kills arousal like pity. Even if you don’t seriously consider yourself pathetic, it never serves your best interest to paint yourself as pathetic. Self-Depreciation is a misguided tool for the AFC, and not something that would even occur to an Alpha.

Gantznaught · 2013-07-26T13:48:47+00:00

I see a lot of different opinions

General consensus: Unknown

projectself · 2013-07-26T14:37:47+00:00

self deprecation, no. And do not allow others to deprecate you either.

humility, yes. You do not need to brag. You do not need to explain, defend, debate, or be boastful. Fly under the radar, be known by your actions and not your words.

Being humble can have the effect of some people underestimating you, however when they do see the value later they will have greater respect for you.

mordanus · 2013-07-26T15:17:44+00:00

it will only work if you have confidence first. If you are using self deprecating humor and actually believing it then it's not really humor. It's just your weaknesses showing. As for humility I think its a necessity. Anyone who needs to brag about how great they are isn't really an alpha. If you need to remind people that you're the king, then you're not much of a king to begin with.

[deleted] · 2013-07-26T13:08:41+00:00

I noticed it doesn't help much at all, unless you do something literally amazing and play that down in a joking manner to actually make it a humble brag (like if you're a 210lb solid block of muscle and you say "Yea, I try to get to the gym when I can").

At work it can be fine because it'll make coworkers more trusting of you, but it won't make the bitches lust.

DaddyMonster · 2013-07-26T12:09:25+00:00

Depends upon the context and the intent of what you say. Phrasing is important too of course. Give examples please.

[deleted] · 2013-07-26T13:54:57+00:00

Well, I wouldn't go out of your way to initiate that kind of humor. But I think it is related to one way of handling shit tests.

If she says something like "your hat is funny looking," you could handle this by agreeing and amplifying until it is absurd. Are you self-deprecating? Possibly depending on how you respond, if you only look at the words literally. But not actually, because this is normally done in a sarcastic way such that it is her question that is actually getting deprecated, not your person. But all of that meaning is in the tone and attitude, and not in the words at all.

[deleted] · 2013-07-26T15:40:51+00:00

I use self depreciating humor at work to disarm people whom i make nervous.

I know i'm really good at what I do, and so does everyone else, but I will use that kind of humor to keep people from being nervous around me. I think in a situation like that, that type of humor can work.

In a situation meeting a woman, unless she's nervous or intimidated by you, it probably isn't a good idea.

Lord_Perseus · 2013-07-26T16:18:53+00:00

I think humility needs to be better defined. A man should not feel the need to be boastful or be some over the top braggart. It does nothing to help you & most likely will backfire. It reeks of desperation & as we all know, few men are disliked more than a thirsty beta.

The way you maintain your appearance & physique, as well as a confident stride & posture is a much more powerful statement than a steady stream of verbal diaharea about how super awesome you are. Women instantly pick up on these non-verbal cues as they indicate to them a man of high status and are drawn in.

Which would lead to conversation tell her about yourself, your life, job, interests etc. If you are doing well professionally & live a varied, interesting life women will be naturally drawn to you, she can't help but be. It will serve as confirmation of her initial assessment of your appearance & demeanour

Oh & easy on the self-deprecating humour. Most men don't mind it, but women are either repulsed by it, it's considered a sign of someone who is weak-willed & low on confidence & in some rather awful cases women will see this & assume you're a doormat and think they can walk all over you. If the latter happens, it will not end well for you.

TL;DR A man who is confident, purposeful & lives live well is obvious to women & does more to get them than 10,000 words ever could

PerfectionEmbodied · 2013-07-26T12:18:35+00:00

You can make it work, but it's a very fine line.

I was like you, I had a very deeply ingrained self-depricating sense of humor, but I found cutting that out entirely noticeably increased my confidence over time.

Plus, being alpha means being the top dog- it's hard to be on top if you put yourself down.

Usherai · 2013-07-26T14:37:26+00:00

One of my good buddies from college is very chill and humble and occasionally self-deprecating. He was also the president of the Inter-fraternity council and routinely had a rotation of women actively pursuing him. He's also 6'3 and very good-looking. Ultimately, there are many ways to be alpha (in the Roissy sense) but the majority of the time humility and self-deprecation just makes guys look beta. I don't think it can be pulled off absent solid social skills/status and other apparent alpha qualities.

Spiderman48 · 2013-07-26T17:02:57+00:00

Summary: Only be self deprecating about things that you completely destroy in, never about your faults. Never brag, your value goes down when you toot your own horn to women, and goes up when someone else brags for you.

Title	Does humility and a self-depricating sense of humor have any place in an Alpha?
Author	boomshakalaka1233
Upvotes	0
Comments	22
Date	July 26, 2013 12:05 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1j3byd/does_humility_and_a_selfdepricating_sense_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/does-humility-and-a-self-depricating-sense-of.5865 https://theredarchive.com/post/5865

Comments