A few days ago I had a small conversation with an old friend. I did not even think about discussing relationships with him as I knew that he never "got" it , but I guess he wanted to brag. He told me how his sex life started being increasingly better with his 6 month girlfriend after she proposed that they do BDSM where he is the dom. She gave him a list of things that he should do to her (spank her , bite her neck , rip clothes , dirty talk) and he should not do (no soft fucking , no ropes , no hitting of the tits).

I told him that I am really happy for him and told him to keep fucking her hard. No more , no less.

This guy who has always been a passive , unmotivated yet very intelligent lad is now a Dom. Because his girl wanted him to be a Dom. And she has even told him what to do as a Dom. And what not to. So much about being dominant , eh?

This makes BDSM (or their view of it) gynocentric because it is exclusively focusing on the female. Naturally dominant men don't discuss the rules of their dominance with women. Or anyone for that matter.

There is not much to be said about a 6 month relationship where the sex has died and is now being revived. Althought I do not know his girlfriend , I honestly believe that she just wants to have enjoyable sex with a person who has been submissive his whole life. Finding someone who is play acting "Dominant" attractive is something new , however.

But when you think about it , many AFCs , after having found TRP , start acting more dominantly when speaking of sex and relationships are not met with the best of results. This happens mainly because they have been clueless their whole relationships and making a leap from starfish to hardcore fucking is just not going to happen that easily and can turn your woman off. Neither will you ordering your LTR around work.

One way to resolve this issue is to naturally evolve from a submissive guy to an assertive one while using dread. You need desire , right? Dread builds that desire to fuck you. Assertiveness tells her how and when. Ask her to do things for you untill you are just telling her to do them. Reward and punsih behaviour as you should. It's a long process of regaining power which is increasingly difficult for all those who started beta.

Perhaps the most appropriate strategy here is to start a relationship as a naturally dominant man. Fake it 'till you make it applies. Fuck her hard , spank her , tie her , talk dirty with her all from the beginning. Give her orders. Tell her what to do and what not.

You can steal ideas from the BDSM scene but do not let your woman know that. I love tying my woman up , smacking her and etc but I would not go into BDSM lingo with her / safeword her and what else. But you should always give her comfort after a rough fuck.

EDIT : I don't use a safeword because I don't do BDSM. I steal ideas from it. Also my LTR is normal enough to tell me if I've crossed a line. That's how normal dominant sex looks. Have you ever played fighting with someone, hit him too hard and he told you that it hurt? Or did you tell him that it was BDSM? I stick my dick in my woman, not Pepsi bottles.