A common theme I see with a lot of people is that when something doesn't go their way, be it in the dating world or work world, they like to complain. Complain and then hatch up some kind of plot where they can get revenge on their now enemy.

"She ghosted me, what a bitch. I am going to RUIN her life, send her pictures of me with other girls and get all of her friends to turn on her."

"My boss is a psycho and the work sucks. I'm going to kick his ass and fuck his wife to show him what a piece of garbage he is."

I hear stuff like this all of the time. It's very easy to hold petty grudges and get off on other people's misfortune. Sometimes, life kicks you in the balls and it sucks. So instead of trying to actually solve the problem, it's easier to kick back so you can bitch, moan and complain.

I used to be this way. A while ago, there was this girl I was OBSESSED with. I put her on a ginormous pedestal, got very outcome dependent, needy, desperate, you name it. Obviously, she ended up cutting things off, and I was DEVASTATED because I felt like she had lead me on/slighted me. I would think of ways to get revenge on her, laugh at all of the misfortunes I would hear about her and one night I got blackout drunk and sent her a photo of me and this girl I had been seeing in hopes of making her jealous.

But after the next day when my friends told me what I did, I thought to myself: Holy crap, this is what butt hurt losers do. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to get my shit together...

I stumbled upon TRP and other self-help forums, and I realized: Yes, life isn't going my way, but the solution to these problems is not to get BITTER, but to get BETTER.

Now when I wake up in the morning, I ask myself "what is one thing I can do today that can make me a better person?" This can be going to the gym, helping out a homeless person or growing a pair and approaching that cute girl I see everyday over in the corner at coffee shop. It can be LITERALLY ANYTHING, but doing one thing each day that I can be proud of goes a long way in improving my confidence.

I challenge you all to do the same.

Since I've adopted this mentality, I have gained roughly 20 lbs at the gym (6'6 185 to 6'6 205 approximately, still have a lot of work to do), have gone from almost being fired to being considered for a promotion at work, and have hooked up with girls that old me would've never thought possible. When you start taking care of yourself, it shows, and people are a lot more drawn to it.

The reality is that moments you spend bitching about your girlfriend who broke up with you or something rude your coworker said are moments you could've spent doing something productive. Don't get stuck on the past, because life is about the future and what it holds for you. To paraphrase Endorsed Contributor Fnordsnord: "you have a limited amount of time, money and emotional energy. DO NOT waste it on people who treat you like garbage."

I still have a long way to go in this journey, but the philosophy to get BETTER and not BITTER is a mentality that I highly recommend to anyone feeling downtrodden.