So I was talking with this woman on the phone after we hooked up twice and I noticed that she refused to give me a blowjob both times, even after I ate her out. She claimed that it was because she saves those for when she is in a serious relationship (the second time I've heard this excuse from a woman) but I heard her voice waver. Finally, after joking about how they made flavored condoms and some berating on my part I got the truth: she gets cold sores on her lip (face herpes).

I had no idea what cold sores were. I consulted my friends, family, even a therapist I had connections with. My family and all but one of my friends said the same thing: Cold sores are an STD. It is incurable, and it just isn't worth it. These are not only extremely contagious, they can be transferred through oral sex and become genital herpes, meaning I would have to live without blowjobs for as long as we were together.

Here's where it got bizarre and Blue Pill imo: one of my friends and the therapist actually justified it and said that it wasn't a reason not to stop being intimate with her. Apparently it is such a common disease the majority of people have some form of it, and many people have it but it is just dormant.

Unfortunately I wasn't strong enough to break it off with her and we hooked up again, but fortunately she broke it off for reasons of her own. I was sad initially, but after some time I realized she did me a favor: no woman is worth contracting an std. Cold sores not only look disgusting, they are painful, and they cannot be controlled.

I found this post on unpopular opinion, it resonated with me, and I believe it belongs here:

I am sick of people acting like I am a KKK member just because I choose not to kiss or enter into an intimate relationship with people who get cold sores. I have been blood tested for both of the viruses that cause cold sores (HSV1 and HSV2) and I don't have it and don't want it. Cold sores are herpes simplex just like genital herpes is herpes simplex.

People say that it is not a big deal. Some people may just get a sore on their lips once a year that clears up in about a week. Some people might get far worse outbreaks that have them looking really bad multiple times a year. Cold sores increase your risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. Herpes in the facial region can also lead to blindness if you are not diligent about handwashing when you have a cold sore.

If a person who gets cold sores performs oral sex on you, then you can get genital herpes. Cold sores/herpes can be spread via asymptomatic shedding even when the person doesn't have an active blister.

I understand people can get oral herpes as children/babies via relatives kissing them or sharing lip products. But, babies can be born with HIV or you can get HIV as a nurse from a needle-stick injury. I understand herpes is not on the level of HIV but both can be spread via nonsexual and sexual means. Just because you caught it non-sexually doesn't mean it is not an STD.

People don't take it seriously because "so many people have it". Well, an attitude like that is exactly why so many people have it. People with oral herpes have no business slobbering on their kids or anyone else's. I see them touching their cold sores in public and then touching other stuff and I just shake my head. Chickenpox are in the herpes family too! they say. Well so is mono. But, varicella (chickenpox) is not as close to genital herpes as cold sores are. Varicella is like a cousin. Cold sores are like the fraternal twin of genital herpes.

If I were to date someone who gets cold sores, I could never get oral sex from them without the risk of getting genital herpes. I am not okay with that. Men like receiving their blow jobs and will sometimes even end a relationship if those blowjobs are not forthcoming. It will not be fair to me to be expected to put out when I couldn't receive without fear of getting an STD every time. Even if you take oral off of the table, who has sex without kissing? I know one lady who got cold sores on her breasts and was unable to breastfeed. Her husband got cold sores, but they never had oral contact when he had an active blister. That didn't matter due to asymptomatic shedding.

I know herpes/cold sores are not the worse things in the world. But, I just don't like the double standard. It's the same stuff whether it is on the face or below the waist. And I am not wrong for protecting myself from it. There are still people in denial about their cold sores and spreading it willy nilly because people don't want to call a spade a spade and act like it's so different when it isn't. There are still people in 2017 who don't know that oral sex+cold sore=genital herpes even though the medical community has known it for years. It's isn't that kind of herpes! Um, yes it is!

There are plenty of women out there who don't have an STD. Once you contract one it is permanent. There is no treatment for it. Better to cut your losses, find another woman, and live a healthy life.