First post - unsure about gf

TJstolemyusername · 2017-07-21T16:08:49+00:00

You're 20. No way, even remotely should you be looking to get serious. If she is causing you this much stress because of her emotional immaturity I'd move on. The only thing that should cause you even the slightest bit of stress at your age is your school.

MattyAnon · 2017-07-21T18:00:36+00:00

I feel like once I have a job this will change.

Why do you think this?

t, if she doesn't get her own way or even if I say something she didn't like she will act out and get moody.

Spoiled brat. It's a trick to get you to give in. Her emotions are just a way to negotiate. Do not be held responsible for her emotional state.

Then it's all, I was on my period, I'm self conscious, I'm stressed from my job, I'm just not having a good time lately. She can't go a few days without being snappy and grumpy over something not important. Can't even enjoy a week holiday together without getting moody.

When she gets like this, you calmly and quietly WALK AWAY. You AVOID her when she is difficult.

Instead you argue or placate her - ie give her attention. This is what she wants. You are encouraging her bad behaviour by acknowledging and responding to it.

Then I don't know if this is normal for relationships but she always goes on about how madly in love with me she is and wants to get married and stuff

Married = contracted wage slave. All upside for her, none for you.

) but then she fancies loads of celebrities and once she was like "I'd love to have sex with him, he's so muscular"

AF. Be careful you're not the BB support for her.

I just don't get her.

Yes you do. Be honest with yourself.

Not sure if I'd rather be on my own, chill with my family, get a graduate job and travel the world when I can. If I did end it, I'd probably stay off relationships for a while.

Just find emotionally not-too-fucking-needy women to fuck, and don't let them pull this shit on you. You're enabling it, and you're not enjoying it.

Think this through man... think this through.

Self-Making-V2 · 2017-07-21T16:05:32+00:00

Don't settle down till about 35. Enjoy her, let the relationship run its course though. If you don't enjoy her, end it now

Herdsengineers · 2017-07-21T18:02:17+00:00

You're description of her sets off alarm bells in my head. Red flags about her galore. Honestly, all women are crazy, but some crazier than others, some a lot more. Life's too short to put up with women on the crazier end of the spectrum. If she's stressing you out that often, understand you are choosing to stay at this point, so you are choosing to let her pull all this crap with you. It's okay to next her and choose to stop letting her do this.

Being with the wrong woman will prevent you from getting with the right woman. And yeah - 20 is way too young to settle down.

PillOrBePilled · 2017-07-21T21:37:45+00:00

You have some significant learning to do, and that’s ok, but you need to start. I hope you are here for some harsh truth, because here it comes:

1) You are far too concerned about what she is thinking. She is not thinking, she is feeling. All the time. She merely follows the whims of her own perception of reality and does not think rationally. Stop overthinking what she says, it is meaningless.

2) You are reacting to her, do not do that. That is for weak inferior men. You must act in your own interest and exist in your frame. Do not react and enter her frame. Yes, she will get “emotional” and “grumpy” this is a test of your mettle. Are you an unworthy billy beta? Currently, you are, because you get upset by her shit tests. You must pass these shit tests, learn from the side bar.

3) You are giving her your valuable attention when she has not earned it. Reward good behavior with attention. Bad behavior as described in much of this post should be met with indifference and withdrawal of attention.

4) You need more purpose in your own life. She will respect that. You need to get a new hobby, go meet new friends, go to the gym. That is attractive. If you have time for all these thoughts and ramblings about what she is “thinking” you are not busy enough. She will noticeably improve when you do.

A LTR is hard work, but most things in life are. I’ve been in my LTR for just under 2 years and I’ve rallied from a place not too dissimilar from where you are now. You’re not a lost cause. My LTR is great, I wouldn’t trade it for 10 hoes. I’ve become a respectable man, and my girlfriend is attracted to me for that. Become a respectable man, and your girlfriend will treat you as such. PM me if you have any more questions. I’ll be blunt, because you need it.

Sdom1 · 2017-07-22T05:42:40+00:00

once she was like "I'd love to have sex with him, he's so muscular" and didn't realise why I was upset about it.

Of course she realized it - she said it to you intentionally.

Women are not as level emotionally as men are, and are not as capable of controlling/suppressing emotional reactions to things. Self-control is one of the things that makes you a man. Don't let her bullshit affect you.

Honestly, it sounds like you might be better off single/plating for now, you're not even having fun and you're only 20. 20, for God's sake.

keysomea · 2017-07-22T00:03:03+00:00

Just end it and apply Plate Theory just my two cents

banjew · 2017-07-22T09:57:25+00:00

She sounds like 99% of girls out there man.

What do you expect. Why you pay so much attention to all the shit she does. It doesn't make any sense, ignore her, call her when you want to fuck. That's how relationship works up until you have 45-50.

Red_Faust · 2017-07-22T14:31:56+00:00

Settle at 35? When you're at your maximum SMV? Are you really guys thinking this through?

At 35 you are ripe for betabucks hunting. I remember that age (6 yrs ago) and I had to constantly shake off the provider vibe, all the chicks wanted to settle.

Now I'm at 41 and having the time of my life (and for the record, I have an LTR but we pick up other girls together, and if I hadn't found this bi chick, I would not be settled by any means). Sometimes, not a rare occurrence either, we can pick up girls in their 20s.

Settle only if you want and when you want, and only with the kind of woman you want, aligned with the goals in life you want.

P.S.: if I hadn't found a cool bi girl, or if this relationship ended for whatever reason, I'd be spinning plates till I croak.

wheel_ · 2017-07-21T19:35:13+00:00

This is just your turn. Enjoy your ride while it lasts.

And don't settle/get married until your late twenties.

AllahHatesFags · 2017-07-21T20:53:56+00:00

Demote her to plate status. Dangle the possibility of something more in front of her while keeping your options open.

redpill_swagger · 2017-07-28T22:31:20+00:00

AWALT ; )

Demote her to plate and FB, you are way too young to be bothered about this one girl.. (if you wernt bothered you wouldnt be posting) have lots of embers on the fire, and let her be one of them if she behaves, if not launch her.

"Not sure if I'd rather be on my own, chill with my family, get a graduate job and travel the world when I can".

Good idea go for it.

Wissenschaft85 · 2017-08-02T18:49:02+00:00

Shes immature and acting like a child. Demand she act like an adult or your leaving. She either straightens herself out or you leave. Don't waste your time trying to fix her. People can only fix themselves.

"I'd love to have sex with him, he's so muscular"

She disrespected you by saying that. Sure, everyone gets attracted to other people. But to just bluntly say that outloud? Disrespect that she got away with because you said nothing. A lot of guys make that mistake. Tell her not to say something like that to you again or it is over. She'll whine and complain about how mean, cruel, unfair, blah blah blah you are and then she won't do that again. If she does it should be over because do you really want to live with a woman thats constantly openly thinking about sex with other men?......

"She also really goes on about how much better I am than him (apparently he was very socially awkward and shy)"

As a naturally shy guy myself I've learned the hard way that women don't empathize at all with shyness in men. They view it as either creepy or weak and pathetic. Don't be shy around women, they won't respect you at all and theres no love without respect. Its better to be too blunt and direct and get rejected. You'll be seen as a man whos an asshole but the key there, A MAN. Shy men in womens eyes are not men at all.

Don't let her run her mouth about a boyfriend. Never let a woman openly compare you to other men. Because what shes not telling you is all the times she thinks that her boyfriend was better than you and that maybe she should get a new boyfriend if she can't have the old one back.

Also, listen to the other guys here. Don't ever argue with women. Say what your going to do and just leave them be. They will either apologize latter and acquiesce to your demand or they will leave (rarely this happens over trivial arguments). I've never seen any good result from arguing with a women. You will never win.

Title	First post - unsure about gf
Author	mma13579
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	July 21, 2017 4:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6oou9h/first_post_unsure_about_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/first-post-unsure-about-gf.44821 https://theredarchive.com/post/44821

Comments