Summary:

I've been seeing a girl for the past two weeks. I was out with her last night, at a cafeteria casually making out when, in between kisses, she lets out this: "TAG, I like you because you are different from the rest". Partly out of sheer curiosity and partly because I enjoy having my ego stroked every once in a while, I immediately pull away and tell her in a matter-of-factly manner: "I'm not kissing you again until you give me three reasons why I'm awesome". After some demands from her and me holding frame, she gives in and says the following:

Body:

1."Of course, you are very handsome". This struck me as absurd, because while my body is definitely well-built and lean she had never seen me shirtless, and I would objectively rate my face as a 6-7/10 on a good day. As a matter of fact I used to consider myself to be so ugly that no girl in their right mind would ever like me. My explanation for this remark is the following: when you maximize your genetic potential by proper grooming, styling and exercise, coupled with confidence, strong frame and good game, you can "trick" women into thinking that you are more attractive than you would ever consider yourself to be. Not trying to downplay the advantages of good facial aesthetics, but I'm saying that if you got dealt a mediocre hand like me you can more than make up for it with the way you present yourself. Sell yourself in the best way possible and her hamster will take care of the rest.

2."I like your style, other men don't even know how to match colors". She then proceeded to mention a lengthy list of her favorite outfits of mine. Honestly, this one came as no surprise. My sense of style is objectively great and my outfits are well thought-out. My fits used to consist solely of a pair of random nike trainers (usually neon green), a pair of blue bootcut jeans and oversized colorful tees and hoodies. Since then I have spent copious amounts of time on the malefashionadvice and streetwear subreddits trying to figure out what makes a good and a bad outfit, and it seems like the effort is paying off.

3."I can trust you, I feel like I could tell you anything". She actually had some trouble putting this into words. I believe she was trying to say that I inspire trust in her. I have already proven to her that I am do not hesitate to express my opinion, even if it might be going against what she thinks or wants. This confidence seems to be liberating for her, because she knows that any question will get her an honest answer, free of sugar-coated bullshit offered as a covert contract for sex. Remember, being overly dependent on a woman's approval is not only not sexy, it makes her feel suffocated by your neediness. There is another possible explanation: her father is a rich neurosurgeon, and from what I gathered quite authoritary. She has a good relationship with him. By exhibiting alpha traits I might have evoked a patriarchal figure in her mind, reminding her of her father and creating feelings of comfort and safety.

Lessons Learned:

  • It's not so much about what you were given, but about the work you put in to maximize your potential.

  • Your style needs to be on point; women notice that shit and appreciate attention to details.

  • Expressing your honest opinion won't offend her. It will give her room to breathe and inspire respect.