TL;DR My 5-year-ONEitis returned. F-closed.

Months of reading finally paid off. At this point I‘d like to pay my respect to those who came before me and on whose shoulders I now stand.

Background

I‘ve been a fake alpha, beta bitch my entire life. Nothing new. Got together with my first girlfriend, after three years the betaization process was completed and she presumably cheated on me with her current boyfriend. Remained her bitch for another two years until I found this place.

After alot of internal struggle I finally ghosted her. For two weeks she bombarded me with betabait trying to lure me in. I agreed to see her at my place. She had an attitude and demanded explanation for my inacceptable behavior. I turned into a raging vulcano (something she hadn‘t seen before) telling her that I will not take her disrespectful attitude and that she should watch her manners. The poor damsel burst into tears stating that she doesn‘t recognize me anymore and stormed out of the apartment. I didn‘t run after her. Some time afterwards we set up another meeting at my place.

This time her attitude was gone and I straight told her that I wanna fuck her and that if she wants my time it‘s gonna be this way or the highway. The whole thing goes back and forth and after several meetups and some serious LMR I was able to fuck her on two occasions.1 After that she flaked on our supposed third meeting and told me she can‘t do this anymore yada yada, wishes me the best of luck for my life yada yada. At this point a had already written some huge paragraph I had intended to send her. Instead I tell her it‘s been alot of fun and I totally understand.

Silence for two months.

Body

Two weeks ago, I get the following mail:

I miss you so much! Without you I feel terrible... I have to think of you all the time! I miss you so much.

We ended the relationship on good terms and she remained friends with my mother. They both met. My mother told me she‘s extremely displeased with her current relationship and she regrets breaking up with me. Well, she lived rent-free, I cooked her meals, washed her laundry, fucked her well.

I waited a day and then responded by telling her that if she wants to come over, she should tell me when she‘s free.2 We set up the meeting for the next week. A day later she mails me that that weeks is going to be her „red week“ and asks me if that‘s okay. I tell her it‘s no problem for me if it‘s no problem for her (she doesn‘t fuck on her period). We postpone another week. She mails me again asking me to go drink a coffee and have a walk downtown. I tell her that she‘s gonna stop by my place to drink some cocoa and listen to some music with me to cool down from work, then we can go outside if the weather is right.

On the scheduled day (today), about three hours before she‘s supposed to come over, I get a hamster bomb:

If the only thing that‘s on your mind is to drink cocoa and have have a walk together, then I agree. But if you have other things on your mind then I can‘t give you what you want. Should you not want to meet because of this, please give notice. I don‘t want to give you false hopes… I think too much happened between us and we‘re missing the trust and the knowledge to do other things… Oftentimes I regret breaking up with you. We were happy together but what‘s done is done… I miss you by my side… Please give notice

My first impulse was to tell her to fuck off and internally I cry like a bitch but instead I reply by telling her that „I don‘t remember mentioning sex. See you at 5 o‘clock.“

She comes over with very defensive body language and obviously feeling very uncomfortable. I apply textbook game: two steps forward, one step backward game. We talk, build comfort, create rapport. I tease her. Cocky and funny. About an hour later, after her body language has finally opened, I start to make out, push-pull. I take her to my bedroom because I want to show her the nice view (apartment is on a high floor). I break rapport by leaving the bedroom but she stays there. Clear sign to engage in due conduct. I seal the deal. No LMR. She remains coy for some time, then the shit tests start again. She tells me she‘s not fucking her boyfriend (the poor guy) and knew exactly what was going to happen if she came over. I told her one thing lead to another and sex wasn‘t explicitly on my mind. She doesn‘t buy it. I send her on her way. It‘s raining cats and dogs outside. I didn‘t give her a jacket and I had her take out my garbage.

Key Takeaways

  1. AWALT
  2. She knows exactly what‘s going to happen. She knew this way before she even wrote me about her upcoming „red week“. Plausible deniability is for her hamster.
  3. Diffusing the hamster bomb has highest priority. Props to the EC whose name I forgot.

Follow-Up

She just sent me an email asking for my number because whatsapp is easier than mail. Compliments me on my nice apartment. Tells me I mean alot to her. Tells me it‘s not her business but asks if I‘m single or if I have a prospect. Suggestions?

Footnotes

1 Now she‘s cheating on the boyfriend with whom she was cheating on her boyfriend. My little unicorn...

2 I know she has a tight schedule. Since beggars can‘t be choosers she should adapt to my schedule but I‘m on a dry spell so I want this to happen as quickly as possible and therefore mustn‘t shoot myself in the foot by providing her a schedule she can‘t make.