GuestsGetGreens' Beginners Guide to Cold Approaching

disposable_pants · 2016-08-08T23:05:12+00:00

Excellent post.

"Hey, how's it going?" That's it. Simple right? This approach has a high success rate.

Bland openers are the best. You don't feel like a dumbass using them so it's easy for beginners to hold frame/remain confident. They require no special delivery or timing. No one is going to mishear the key part and ask you "WHAT?", sucking the humor out of the line. And most importantly, it lets you know right away if she finds you physically attractive. If a Louis CK clone starts talking to a woman she's probably going to laugh her ass off and keep the conversation going, but that initial interest is a false positive -- at the end of the night she probably still doesn't want to go home with him because he's a lumpy, balding redhead. His game was good enough to get a foot in the door, but he's fighting a losing battle. If he started with a bland opener the woman would have rejected him early and saved his time. On the flipside, if he started with a bland opener and she did want to keep talking to him he could be pretty certain that she's interested in him physically as he's given her no other reason to stick around.

One other thought -- a lot of guys will be asking "OK, so once I've said hello and started the conversation, then what do I say?" What's worked for me is:

Whatever the topic is, get into the details, and
Never miss an opportunity to pursue a new topic.

First, getting into the details (add what you know and take a few guesses so it doesn't turn into an interrogation) produces a less superficial conversation, can produce opportunities for humor (either topical in-jokes or just comments about the absurdity of diving so far into the topic during casual conversation), and can help isolate her from the group. The idea is to turn it into a memorable conversation with just you, not a vague discussion she had with a bunch of her friends and this one guy who also jumped in.

Second, jumping into new topics -- even if you think you're having a good conversation at the moment -- is almost always a good idea. It keeps her on her toes, it keeps the conversation from getting stagnant, more topics mean a greater chance at finding something she gets really excited about, and each old topic can be revisited if the conversation stalls. Obviously you don't want to throw out 10 random questions in the first 90 seconds of talking to her; you don't want to come across as ADD. The idea is to keep your ears open and mix it up semi-regularly.

stawek · 2016-08-09T10:09:50+00:00

Tl;dr: unless you are top looks don't bother without any IOIs. Talk to men instead.

Reason: First impression matters. The moment you cold approach she looks at you and sees an average man. Remember, for a woman average is unfuckable. Now you have to fight uphill battle to change her perception. Contrary to what you might think, you don't get any points for your bravery in approaching her - after all, every single man she talks to is somebody who approached her (the ones who did not she never actually met, right?)

Chat up the men instead. Get a group going on around you with people laughing and having fun. For example, wait at the bar to be serves, ask the men around what they're drinking. There are plenty of safe, fun topics to laugh about: sports, cars, clothing if they have something exceptional, tatoos, what they are doing right now and so on. Keep that convo going and invite other passer-bys to join. This will make you the centre of the group and the local social alpha.
Now you aren't just an average looking, nameless dude, you are that guy whom everybody knows and evem offers drinks to. Now women, seeing fun times happening, will try to join your group, or accidentally move into vicinity so they are approachable. NOW you chat the girls up. Unlike the women, the guys who are there with you WILL have a huge respect for a man who fearlessly approaches women. That respect will show and will give you massive social proof.

Edit: in many situations the above does not apply and cold approaching is the only game in town. After all, you aren't creating a social circle while waiting in a supermarket queue, right? (Though you could crack some jokes with other people before approachin, just to keep the tension down)

p00pey · 2016-08-09T16:32:37+00:00

if you are approaching to get laid, your looks are 90% of it.

Ask yourself this, or even experiment it with another bro. Same exact approach, line for line, with a good looking built dude vs. frump. Even go a bit higher, go with an average looking dude. THe hot dude can speak tourrets language and snag bitches, the other dudes will be looked at as creeps, the frump might even get maced.

Rest of it is a numbers game. That's what no one here likes to talk about. It's a fucking numbers game. Even in my blue pill days, if I spoke with enough bitches, I'd get some numbers, and from there convert to lays. All this pickup shit is a numbers game. Unless your SVM is so high, then it turns into a reverse numbers game, where you have to decide which bitches you actually want to fuck...

Rest of it is a bunch of nonsense. Of course you need to have confidence, and maintain eye contact and all that. But there aren't enough words in any language that'll get you past the looks barrier, and the woman will decide in 2 seconds based on your looks whether she's DTF. Anything you say after, and her response, is largely irrelevant. Unless you're the funniest motherfucker in the world, that can change the attraction, but not much else. Displays of wealth/status, bjut that's a conversation for another time...

Card986 · 2016-08-09T01:16:46+00:00

I disagree with matching the woman's frame, sometimes they can tell and you come off as a pleaser. Now when I hold my own frame and bring her into my reality I seem to get better results, and if she doesn't want to match my frame, fuck her there's plenty of other girls in the club. But idk, I'm not a pro or anything whatsoever, if anything intermediate game so I can be wrong.

FCBLegacy · 2016-08-08T22:11:29+00:00

Great work OP. I like the approach you take in this thread. You emphasize the successful strategies and point out what one should do if women do not give IOIs. You are realistic.

rndem · 2016-08-09T02:04:35+00:00

Thanks for the insight. Looking forward to trying it out once i get back to school, plenty of lost, nervous girls around on move in day

M0d3s · 2016-08-09T05:10:40+00:00

Shits not going to happen for you if you don't act though

A life motto if you ask me

corsega · 2016-08-09T05:00:34+00:00

I would recommend a more direct opener than "Hey, how's it going" for day game. That's a ticket to a boring conversation.

My go-to opener if I'm approaching a girl on the street is:

Me: "Can I tell you something really random?"

Her: "Sure"

Me: "I'm on my way to [wherever you're going], but I just saw you while I was [whatever you were doing] and thought you looked cute and wanted to come say hi."

If you're approaching a girl in a situation where there's no easy to escape (in the grocery store, bookstore), go for the indirect opener.

[deleted] · 2016-08-09T07:06:33+00:00

You sound like you have that shit down, bro. Mind talking about how your journey to where you are now?

intradasting350 · 2016-08-09T16:45:34+00:00

No cold approach is not the king. This is just my opinion. Seriously, unless you're 6'5, white, and amazing face, the ROI is very low. What kind of a person goes out one hour a day just to approach?

GuestsGetGreens · 2016-08-09T17:21:08+00:00

I'll address physical attractiveness in my next post. Interesting how it keeps coming up

[deleted] · 2016-08-09T04:24:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hunteeer · 2016-08-09T08:28:17+00:00

Having a good time and talking ti people is in most cases mutually exclusive. Not that I'd fear talking to people, but I can do much better things with my time, like reading or listening to music or audio books. Is there a way to learn cold approach without the need to talk to people I don't give a flying fuck about?

slay_it_forward · 2016-08-09T12:20:47+00:00

Would avoid boring interview questions. The initial conversational burden is on you when you cold approach. You haven't given her any reason to invest in a conversation upon saying hello.

What you recommend:

OP - Hello, what's up?

Here you assume she needs to do all the work and if she doesn't you take it as an IOD and walk away.

Girl - Not much.

OP walks away.

What I recommend:

SIF - hey, what's up?

Here I assume the girl won't give much.

Girl - not much.

Move to an assumption / accusation.

SIF - you look like you're having so much fun ;) (said if she looks bored).

Or - you look like the type to do 3 tequila shots and start making out with your friend (if she's actually having fun).

Here you gauge her reaction and run with whatever she gives you. If she gives you nothing, move on.

[deleted] · Mon Aug 8 21:20:34 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Title	GuestsGetGreens' Beginners Guide to Cold Approaching
Author	GuestsGetGreens
Upvotes	161
Comments	28
Date	August 8, 2016 9:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4wsivh/guestsgetgreens_beginners_guide_to_cold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/guestsgetgreens-beginners-guide-to-cold.61364 https://theredarchive.com/post/61364

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