How do you make yourself turn off empathy?

thebears1986 · 2013-10-23T23:18:25+00:00

Back in college I had to read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In that book he describes a "circle of influence" and a "circle of concern".

Inside the circle of influence is everything that you can control. Everything from what you eat to what you can order others to do at work. More powerful people have larger circles of influence.

Inside the circle of concern is everything you care about. Maybe you care about how you dress, or what career you have, or how congress votes.

Where the two circles overlap is where productive pro-active people can improve themselves. You can set a goal and achieve that goal.

Now if something is outside of your circle of influence but you are very concerned about it, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. There is nothing you can do to change the situation. Very frustrating.

So I find the key isn't turning off empathy, but rather recognizing what I can change. If I have no influence in the matter I am not going to worry about it. If I have minimal influence in something but someone else has a final decision, I can't get myself worked up over that either.

Most people's actions aren't within your circle of influence, so don't worry about those actions. That is how you "turn off empathy".

test_ost · 2013-10-24T00:31:50+00:00

Whose feelings are you ACTUALLY concerned about here?

Women have a very different take on things than you do.

Chronic stress can damage men's brains but, on average, has far less severe effects on women.

How do you think BDSM works? People get together when they like corresponding things, not the same things.

Otherwise, how could you make her suck your dick, when sucking a dick is something you wouldn't want to do? The Golden Rule is one of the most misleading memes in Western Civilization.

http://www.taoareyou.com/a-closer-look-at-the-golden-rule/

Women want a dominant man. You don't.

Women also are prone to express every momentary flitting feeling that enters their heads. This is the effect of estrogen. Men who use extra testosterone (athletes, bodybuilders) and have too much conversion to estrogen have the same issue. Some young men with high testosterone also have this issue, when individual variation makes some of them convert too much to estrogen.

If you are prone to being emo, it might be from too much estrogen. Get an inhibitor like anastrozole and see if it helps.

Once you have estrogen under control, you realize that these emotional bouts were worry over nothing. The typical female preoccupation with "where is this GOING?" when things are perfectly fine is like when people suddenly start panicking over "what if an asteroid hits the EARTH?"

They also don't feel the same about you cheating on them as you would feel about them cheating on you. Why not? Because they can't get cuckolded!

Women are just completely lacking those circuits and don't appreciate how much of a huge fucking deal it is to men. It's something that cannot happen to them.

Women would rather share a single high value dominant man than each have their own six pack of hapless betas.

And they want a guy who is in charge of himself and enjoying HIMSELF. This is reassuring to them. They take his lead.

By contrast, when a guy is constantly looking to a woman for his cues on what to do, this makes her uncomfortable and feel unsafe.

tl;dr Your hardwired biological gender roles make you both feel differently about the exact same thing. Completely suiting yourself is the only way to live. Trying to please her automatically makes her unsatisfied. She just wants to hop on a dominant male's bandwagon and shut off her individual responsibility for everything, including herself.

IllimitableMan · 2013-10-23T23:45:47+00:00

Look into buddhism and zen meditation, being zen is essentially "not giving a shit" but its simultaneously a state of peace.

Buddhism, unlike the other religions sticks out to me personally as something that anyone can apply and use to improve their lives. It's not a religion that commands you to do shit or is known for starting up wars, but is based on the basic principle that people can find peace via meditation, that our unfulfilled desires make us unhappy and to detach from that.

If anyone on TRP is into buddhism perhaps you can expand, I've only been exploring the proposition, not dipped my foot into the water as to say yet. Giving you another option to explore, in no way claiming I have the sufficient expertise to back my own curiosities.

If you want to be sociopathic like so many seem to want due to pain, you can become borderline via a process of desensitization to horrific shit, but you'll never be clinical, more borderline, actual sociopaths are born (or develop at a young age) with brains that don't adequately communicate the part of the brain where you introspect your own behaviour to the part responsible for guilt or empathy, in tests its been shown those parts of the brain simply don't light up, or barely light up at all, if you felt no guilt or empathy for anything then you'd do whatever the hell you liked, the ultimate freedom creating the ultimate chaos. People overvalue freedom and see it purely as positive when it isn't, freedom without order is synonymous with chaos, a word which all of a sudden has you thinking negatively, but is the exact same thing as "total freedom" which your mind would have you think of positively, in reality you need enough freedom to be fulfilled, but not so much you destroy yourself through your own human shortcomings.

A lot of people are craving "not giving a shit" nowadays because we live in a society which rewards stepping on people to get higher up the mound and bullshitting your way to success, most people feel like their own worst enemies when they're so mentally healthy their own conscience stops them from getting the promotion or the pussy.

[deleted] · 2013-10-24T00:06:11+00:00

You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness but your own. to be concerned with making everyone happy is setting yourself up for failure.

musicvita25 · 2013-10-24T12:35:57+00:00

I think you should watch Seinfeld. Seinfeld and his buddies don't give a shit about anything, and are largely selfish.

However they are a bit too neurotic at times, yet I love how they just don't care.

Its like a complete opposite of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. the most beta blue pill shit ever.

kukul · 2013-10-23T23:30:34+00:00

I remind myself that:

I'm better than these people
They would do the same to me if they had the balls
I need to look after myself because nobody else really will
History is written by the winners
Nobody is innocent, everyone has some unpunished sins on their conscience
It's not my fault for gaming a faulty system

mordanus · 2013-10-24T01:07:54+00:00

To me it's all about perspective. Some people's lives suck, but if you compare the lives of people who have really gone through major trials most peoples problems look really stupid.

Also try to look at it through the perspective of time. When I had my first girlfriend and she dumped me I was heartbroken, but now I can barely remember what she looked like. Just like most of the people that you would normally feel sorry for will be able to bounce back after their problems. It might even make them a better person to have gone through the trial.

Empathy, to me, is kind of like fear. A really useless emotion. The only reason to have it is to make other people like you. So don't get rid of it completely. Harness it and put it in a little box for when you need it again.

PostGradWarrior · 2013-10-24T02:44:11+00:00

I empathize with people, I understand how they are feeling... but I don't attach any moral responsibility to change the way they are thinking.

I understand why girls want compliments, but I don't give a shit and I'm not going to give them compliments.

Get it?

HatchbacksandTattoos · 2013-10-24T14:48:22+00:00

A couple others mentioned it but I want to reiterate it...Read up and study Stoicism. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Discourses by Epictetus

jakethesnake76 · 2013-10-24T01:47:43+00:00

Any great man i can think of have been meditative , ones who have a distance between them and the minute by minute affairs and ups and downs of this life. If you don't develop this others will control you through their continued and manufactured Drama.As Hilary Clinton said a few years ago never waste a crisis, people will keep you busy if you give in to their drama.

thegman84 · 2013-10-24T02:13:20+00:00

Society calls a guy with no empathy who lives in his mom's basement a psychopath. But a guy with no empathy who owns a Fortune 500 business is a "boss" or a "shark". This shouldn't be surprising considering studies show empathy is negatively correlated with power.

Emulating dark triad traits may cause women subconsciously think you're a badass. But the minute they realize you don't actually have power, you're labeled as a creep/psychopath at best (at worst they have to hamster out of their slut shame and accuse you of rape).

Work on improving your career, body, game, etc instead of trying to emulate dark triad traits. It will serve you better in the long run and you'll actually have power/social status rather than being the guy trying to look like he does.

frequentlywrong · 2013-10-24T05:06:27+00:00

also avoid being empathetic to people who don't deserve the empathy.

Do you have self esteem issues? A confident person does not give a shit about losers who made their own bed.

TheeRyanGrey · 2013-10-23T23:53:05+00:00

I'm better than everyone.

this is my mindset every time i leave the house. i'm gonna kiss her because it's going to make her world a better place. i'm gonna talk to that guy's girlfriend because she deserves better.

no one is better than you until proven otherwise.

Purpledrank · 2013-10-24T05:13:06+00:00

Killing small animals, just like all serial killers start out with.

Title	How do you make yourself turn off empathy?
Author	magicalbird
Upvotes	5
Comments	29
Date	October 23, 2013 10:55 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1p31od/how_do_you_make_yourself_turn_off_empathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-make-yourself-turn-off-empathy.7407 https://theredarchive.com/post/7407

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