I've found true love

2comment · 2017-01-13T06:58:23+00:00

I prefer cats. If I lock it in, it gets fat lying on the sofa all day. If I let it out, it'll roam the whole neighborhood getting free meals at 5-6 different places while it lets anyone grope it.

No loyalty, fussy, bossy, demanding, lazy, jealous, standoffish, and preoccupied with it's hair. Give it a smartphone it can obsess over and it'll still be the cheapest reminder against the average modern western woman you'll ever have.

TheeRyanGrey · 2017-01-13T03:48:25+00:00

"I want a woman who likes the same music as me and wears jordans and likes video games"

My guy it sounds like you want a boyfriend.

Good post. If you're looking for a friend then that's why women are turned off by you.

InChargeMan · 2017-01-13T07:15:27+00:00

Just you wait, before long you will realize she's a bitch.

suske127 · 2017-01-13T08:48:20+00:00

I read the first sentence, skipped to the end, and was right - it was a pup. I fucking love dogs man.

rmtusr · 2017-01-13T06:35:56+00:00

This is a very cute post. A+ This sub needs some light heartedness sometimes.

I_AM_CALAMITY · 2017-01-13T06:31:38+00:00

Did anyone actually get over halfway through without figuring it out?

MarauderFH · Fri Jan 13 5:38:10 2017 UTC

What a rollercoaster of emotions.

[deleted] · 2017-01-13T04:03:30+00:00

I laughed way too hard at this. Great post!

ghee99 · 2017-01-13T06:27:30+00:00

you "fool around" with your dog?

kinky, bro!

imploredpill · 2017-01-13T05:23:43+00:00

You have some quality posts but this isn't one of them.

sampson158 · 2017-01-13T06:53:10+00:00

you had me until

"I feed her"

That's when I knew.

Noveno · 2017-01-13T09:29:23+00:00

I thought you were talking about your cock, no jokes

zezozio · 2017-01-13T09:57:22+00:00

God, you made me miss my boy!

He died a few years ago, and was the sweetest meanest badass golden retriever you could ever find.

Now I'm travelling too much to get another one, but someday, someday...

imbeciI · 2017-01-13T12:27:16+00:00

Whatever, you can have your bitch. But I'm a pussy man.

skittles_man · 2017-01-13T13:06:03+00:00

I loved a woman once. For about 10 minutes, and then I kicked her out of my car.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-01-13T13:31:17+00:00

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies

...it's masculine-to-feminine polarity.

Without polarity there is no attraction.

The dog is attracted by what he/she perceives as the Alpha dog, the owner.

Want to feel Alpha?

Own a dog.

xMYSPACEx · 2017-01-13T14:53:59+00:00

Lol. I found true love [removed]

88Will88 · 2017-01-13T10:32:33+00:00

Glad you are OK, you went quiet for a while. People like your posts, humour and writing style. Keep it to 1 post every 2-3 days and get to the gym. I want a field report post from you within 1 week about a date or plate. Success or fail (and no cheating and using your giant size brain to write a convincing but not true post).

Alth12 · 2017-01-13T13:14:38+00:00

Better be an actual dog not one of them little rat looking things that chicks carry around in their handbags.

worktillyouburk · 2017-01-13T13:37:30+00:00

ya your dog will always be there for you, dogs are awesome. mine is Nala, ive contemplated just moving out with just my dog many a time.

just i would feel bad that she would be alone all the time.

aazav · 2017-01-13T13:51:01+00:00

Just make sure you fatten her up for Thanksgiving dinner.

goldnhorde · 2017-01-13T15:07:35+00:00

my dog is definitely in running for my best friend. he wakes me up and doesn't let me sit around and he loves going places to meet people so he kind of makes me meet people. I had him from a pup and put him in every training class that I could find so he is smarter than most people. his weakness is bacon to which all training goes shamefully out the window and he will leap onto the counters and steal all the bacon you have cooked. full disclosure - I sometimes cook a bunch of bacon and leave on purpose so he thinks he is getting away with it.

as far as responsibility, my pup is worth the responsibility price. his upside is prob double in terms of what it costs me. only one time I don't enjoy it is when we go to parks and some jackass has brought his dog that they have not invested any kind of real time or effort into and the fog starts going nuts around the other dogs and the owner just sits there like nothing is happening ... or worse ... starts with the whole "oh ... he's an alpha ... he's an alpha".

then you have to stand up and get your dog and ruin your dogs day because eventually this asshole's dog might bite yours and you might have to shoot him and his dog. and you have to correct his use of the word alpha and mistaking it for the word "asshat".

but upon reflection, that is the only bad times I have with my dog. that's it. and that certainly is not his fault.

squirestrat · 2017-01-13T07:37:13+00:00

Thanks CC but I also fucking despise ya' cause every single one of your post is some romanticized "RP" bullshit

Title	I've found true love
Author	CaptainCringeworthy
Upvotes	275
Comments	39
Date	January 13, 2017 3:42 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5no9m9/ive_found_true_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ive-found-true-love.39951 https://theredarchive.com/post/39951

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