Moving on is something all betas and reformed betas struggle with. I am no different. This message became resoundingly clear after months of trying to maintain a friendship with an ex. Call the girl M. Despite the breakup and the shit storm that ensued, I considered her a good friend since I had been close with her for a majority of my life. As time went on I was plating a few girls and had no intention to hook up with M again.

 

We hadn't seen each other for 4 months and decided to hang out one night. I had was getting drinks with a plate before meeting up with M at her parents house. I went to get food with her and while parked she started to get handsy. I was certainly tempted, but I was not going down that road. M started to reminisce and mentioned how she missed me. I shut that down, dropped her off, and thought I had left the situation resoundingly clear. Fast forward 4 months, we are catching up over FaceTime as I was traveling in Europe. After talking for a bit she asks, "Who do you know that lives at 1 Main St." I rattle off the names I know and move on. Then M not so subtly asks, "Would you be mad if I hooked up with one of your friends?" With the corollary "But I haven't so it's all good" We all know what that means.

 

I didn't answer and got to the truth. She fucked one of the names I mentioned from the house. A pretty good friend. So, I went to my friends for the rest of the story. That wasn't the only friend she had fucked. All three of these guys didn't have a clue she was my ex, but she sure as hell knew they were my friends. I was pretty pissed off. This is not something I would do to friend, but women have different ideas of respect.

Before dropping her I decided to see her hamster in action. Here are some selected quotes:

 

"How am I a liar!"

My 9 year old brother could figure this one out.

"You don't even ask my side before you start cutting me off."

Attempting to put me in her frame. Nothing she says would change my mind.

"I didn't think you and X were friends and I had no idea you guys even knew Y"

Sometimes you just have to laugh at how women will blatantly lie to you. Don't believe it for a second.

"You're not even going to let me defend myself?"

Nope.

"You just told me that you didn't care what I did."

I don't. Actions have consequences. That's life.

"I didn't even think you still considered me a friend."

More attempts at rationalization.

"I should've never told you."

Secrets and lies are the perfect recipe for a friendship. We must have massively different views of friendship.

"And I should've never done it."

After all that the hamster gives up and tells beta me what I want to hear. Time to peace.

 

It was idiotic to attempt a friendship with an ex in the first place. No woman has a modicum of respect for anyone in their past, just what is giving them the tingles in the present. Beta me decided to ignore this. Instead of wasting my precious time, what I needed to do was move the fuck on. I've dropped toxic friendships, quit jobs I hated, and switched from the "right" major to the one I loved. When it came to M, I caved. It's disappointing to have moments like this, but it all goes to reinforce the right mentality and killing the nice guy thats still rooted somewhere inside of me. Swallowing the RP isn't an insta-fix. It is a journey and this is just another reinforcing event. No matter who she is AWALT.

 

What I Learned

There’s only 168 hours in a week. Don’t waste a single second of that. Lift, read, travel the world and hustle your ass off. The world is yours; grab it by the balls.