lost sleep on Jealousy

SkorchZang · 2015-08-10T11:39:09+00:00

I am not spinning any plates right now

Well there you go dude. You always need at least two, as casual as you want it to be, but at least two plates spinning. Otherwise it's pretty fucking hard not to fall back into scarcity and jealous beta behavior eventually. It's built in for us by evolution, if you don't have options with women and one of them fainly presents herself, your brain will switch itself into overdrive (without consulting iwth you) to secure that reproductive opportunity. Whenever you veer off that predefined course you will be chemically made to feel inadequate, anxious, and angry/worthless.

Meanwhile in the larger scheme of things, you're not even fucking this girl yet. There's nothing to be jealous about whatsoever. She's nothing to you and her name is nobody. When she went to the bars instead of being around to be seduced by you, that had nothing to do with you personally. She might still bed you later on, no problem. But if she senses you're all butthurt about something (anything) then it's definitely not going to happen.

You have a good chunk of inner work to do on yourself to set yourself aright, building abundance mentality.

PantsonFire1234 · 2015-08-10T13:31:40+00:00

You put way to much thought into the whole thing before you even met her. Staying awake because you feel insecure about being a beta provider while she is out partying with Chad is ludicrous. Are you afraid that the Red Pill Tooth Fairy would punish you or something?

Who cares what she does, so long as she doesn't bring her Chad back to your apartment it shouldn't even register on your mental radar.

I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume some things about you. Perhaps if i'm correct you will gain a new insight. What I'm guessing is that you are very dependent on your eventual success with women, but you aren't proactive. You read Rollo, he also writes about the "lonely old man" myth. Stop worrying, women will come.

SlappaDaBayssMon · 2015-08-10T21:18:53+00:00

Bro, did you allow this girl to crash because you wanted to do your sister a solid, or because you thought it was some kind of opportunity for sex?

Don't answer that, we both know the answer. You don't even know this girl and you're 'jealous' because she isn't drooling all over you for offering her a couch?

You've developed an emotional tie to this girl you don't even know just because she's staying on your couch. Allowing her to stay doesn't qualify you as an AF or a BB. You could be the "hawt" older brother or the loser older brother. Which do you think she was hoping for?

Little anecdote from my own past: Few years back I broke up with a girl after 3 years. About a week after the break up, I found out through the rumor mill who my ex was with now - some dirtbag convict that I'd never liked. I was up for two days over that shit. When I finally crashed, I was out for almost 20 hours.

I got that worked up over a girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with (in retrospect, bullet dodged), you're getting this worked up over a complete random. There are BILLIONS of women out there who are also not fucking you right now. Do you feel jealous about that?

You're learning a lesson here, pay attention. You invest your emotions way too fucking quickly. What you should've done is gone about your life just like normal, and maybe offered to include her in the fun shit you had planned this weekend. You're (supposed to be) a fucking bulwark. Life is supposed to be awesome for you with or without what's-her-slut. In childrens language, you are the flower, she is the bee. Reach for the sun, if she comes, she comes, if not, there are plenty of other bees. Don't wilt over a fucking bee.

avocadosandham · 2015-08-10T19:14:55+00:00

Breh she probably already had a FWB in this town who she was set on meeting up with while she was here.

I'll agree that this story does reveal your lack of true confidence.

I gotta ask though, what is up with your sister recommending your place for a random friend of hers to stay at? That strikes me as so weird... I assume your sister doesn't live in your town, so she couldn't offer her place. The whole idea of a sister asking a brother if her friend can crash at his apartment seems so weird to me.

renegade · 2015-08-10T20:11:55+00:00

Lost sleep on being a nutter. She's your sister's friend, full stop. Everything else was fantasy in your head that had no basis at all in reality.

Go out tonight. Explore. Learn.

mkvi-ca · 2015-08-10T14:31:58+00:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the thought of sleeping with this woman. The problem here is you've constructed some kind of scenario or fantasy in your mind and that fantasy seems to be the only sexual outlet you have.

You haven't lifted a finger to get what you want yet so there's no need to be jealous. You haven't tried and lost, you just haven't tried.

Plate up, acknowledge your flaws and work on them. As you grow so will the quality of your plates. It will give you a place to put your energy instead of dwelling.

2comment · 2015-08-10T14:59:03+00:00

Your post reads like a teenager crushing on a girl he sees from a distance and building up a fantasy around her, only for your dreams to be smashed by rejection or her real behavior.

What is beta is engaging in this dynamic, of giving resources (access to your house and a bed) with the expectation that she'll reciprocate with romantic affection. This is literally the beta bucks fantasy that went sour since the sexual revolution.

Giving something to a woman isn't bad, but you either have to be upfront with your expectation and not pussyfoot around it (the old ass, cash, or grass).... or you have to have give it with no expectations and call it what it is: charity. And guess what happens to people who give to real charities? They get a minimum of recognition, maybe a shitty token gift and hit up a lot more often for money.

Read up on No More Mr Nice Guy: https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

jasonmiles2014 · 2015-08-10T13:31:24+00:00

Your post in worrisome. You are invested in someone you have never met to the point of jealousy. It doesn't make any sense. I would speak with a counselor.

1NV0K3R · 2015-08-10T13:04:48+00:00

What...the fuck...did I just read?

This isn't even beta tendency this is just mental illness. You need to do some reevaluation.

the_crimson_pig · 2015-08-10T14:03:34+00:00

So, a guy who is more fun can easily steal my thunder. Yes, hypergamy has no mercy, but how can I control my thoughts around it? We haven't meet each other, and I already got so jealous on her not coming back to my place.

Not to be a jerk, but you simply need to get a life. You mentioned you work a lot in order to go back to school, but it's also important to have things outside that passion that you're using for self-improvement like lifting, establishing a social circle / having a good group of friends around, or whatever else it is-maybe you're a tinkerer who likes to work on cars or motorcycles or you like skateboarding, BMX.. Anything.

I still get those random flashes of jealousy too, but you have to step back and realize that jealousy is all it is. It's not an actual real force that's harming you, it's your own insecurities affecting your outlook. You definitely wouldn't be as jealous if this woman staying with you was unattractive and ugly would you?

The best thing you can do is try and chill out about it and find something productive to do until it passes. I still get jealous all the time about different girls who I have no attachment to but it's really mild and barely noticeable at this point; mainly because I'm content with the path that I'm on and the progress I'm making in life with my own personal goals.

Also beware of diseased pussy. People don't realize that chicks who go out hunting for strange "D" and do it often usually wind up with herpes. I'm a regular at this townie bar and I know like 5 chicks who have fucked the herpes leper bartender there who are as attractive as an UGO 2 to me now.

williesmokes · 2015-08-10T18:06:08+00:00

Wait i don't get it. Why would you even care what she did? You didn't even know her. And just edit out the end part about your childhood.

Derbi50 · 2015-08-11T00:42:52+00:00

You haven't even met this girl and she is already stressing you out?

Bro, you need to mellow. It seems you are a bit out of practice.

Chances are you wont fuck this girl and if you try she will get weirded out and hotel it up for the rest of the days.

Take the time with this girl to just get comfortable around girls you want to fuck. MAYBE you get lucky and she puts out, but EXPECTING that she put out is a good way to NOT get laid.

So right now get it into your head, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING THIS GIRL.

Just have a good time, get some drinks, go to a local pizza/BBQ/whatever spot only locals know, etc.

This is a free chance to practice holding frame, being the man, etc.

iLLprincipLeS · 2015-08-10T13:29:59+00:00

Just the thought that a girl who I invested emotionally has the potential of hooking up with another man revealed my insecurity. It could even be her having drinks with other girls in the city and the public transit stopped late at night so she slept over.

1,2,3.. AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA , the hamster wheel, that force unseen!!! you fucking doormat. before you know it, she will ask you if it's ok to bring a date back home, and fuck him in your bed while you will sleep outside on the.. yup, doormat!

do you want to fuck her? in the next few days ask her if she could come a little later at your house because you will have some guest over(no explanations). when she will actually get home, you will make it look like you just fucked a girl(the best thing would be if you actually did it, but whatever works). for all she knows, you spin plates, she will not see you as just the beta provider, she will see you as one of the guys she would fuck while away from home.

if you are desperate, bait and switch. if you say she told you she likes kids, make up a story about how one of your plates is an ex girlfriend that you broke up because she hated children(or never wanted to have one).

anyway, it's not the end of the world if nothing comes out of it, consider yourself a virgin in seduction&frame matters, this is just your first test.

edit: i know nothing, more to read here:

[frame - Poker with Black Widows" (self.TheRedPill) submitted 3 months ago * by Endorsed ContributorOmLaLa] (https://archive.is/SWTFM)

[you said you read rollo, check the link inside, consider this is your girl - If she wants to travel without you... (self.TheRedPill) submitted 3 months ago by colombia40] (https://archive.is/dN7TE)

[more links in the article - A bit on the basics of Briffault's Law (self.TheRedPill) submitted 4 months ago by Endorsed ContributorKill_Your_Ego] (https://archive.is/R2IsI)

[bonus - A weekend getaway with strangers (self.TheRedPill) submitted 2 months ago * by semondemon24] (https://archive.is/X7Kar)

FrameWalker · 2015-08-10T20:53:43+00:00

Don't go for this girl. Ask her to introduce you to her female friends in the area though. Have them all pregame at your place and go out together. Socialize

sofcknwrong · 2015-08-10T22:29:03+00:00

I've never laughed so hard. Excellent troll :}

butterettub · 2015-08-11T00:36:19+00:00

Thanks guys. Turns out she is a total narcissist, grew up without a father. Thinks the universe revolves around her. Not sure why my sister sent her my way, as a frame test perhaps.

I have so much inner work to do, the fact that I am jealous of someone I have never met is alarming.

chwed2 · 2015-08-11T02:06:22+00:00

This is why you should always have multiple plates. You avoid the first cigerette because you know you will become addicted no matter what; You have multiple plates because oneitis can hit you no matter what. Its not a matter of being aware of oneitis, no matter how against it and aware of it you are it will inevitably hit you if you put yourself in that situation.

yummyluckycharms · 2015-08-11T03:34:14+00:00

Guys - the guy knows what the long term goals are - but he needs help with the small steps getting there.

Op: if you're in the stage of building your SMV and you know you're not ready to compete with the big boys, the best way to avoid jealousy is to avoid putting yourself in situations where it could arise.

Being a beta buck and orbiter is not a good way of doing this - you should have told your sister no, that it wasnt convenient for you. Your place is for reserved for women that you fuck, you're not a bed and breakfast.

littledazed · 2015-08-11T07:27:10+00:00

Dude you literally sound mentally ill

Title	lost sleep on Jealousy
Author	butterettub
Upvotes	17
Comments	41
Date	August 10, 2015 11:14 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3ggam5/lost_sleep_on_jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/lost-sleep-on-jealousy.35431 https://theredarchive.com/post/35431

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