Before I even knew about TRP, I used to be very alpha and narcissistic, that is, until I met my ex. She was the hottest girl I had ever been with, and she completely betad omegad me. She defanged me and humiliated me, and I lost all of my self worth, and I didn't stand up for myself because I was afraid of losing her. She's very hypergamous and we come from vastly different classes (me - rich family, her - poor family)... I became dependent on her love for my own validation, and I lost my identity. I see it as an addiction now, and while she never cheated on me, and I ended up dumping her because I was miserable, I was still heartbroken and guilty for an embarrassingly long period of time...

Until I forced my brain to shift from "seek her love" "seek external love" while feeling empty to "love yourself" and giving myself that satisfaction.

I loved her more than I loved myself. I put her needs before mine. Never ever ever ever do this. It puts you in a weak, dependent position, it's disingenuous, and you will never be satisfied with the love she gives you in return (read "No More Mr. Nice Guy"). You are most important. You need to love yourself more than anyone else. You are the rock she can rest her head on