Having my first baby with my wife there has been many external stress factors. Her mom has cancer, her nephews are living with us now, giong to court to name a few.

I'm compassionate since shes in her 9th month but I still hold frame and set precedence for how I expect to her to act.

She has given me many shit test complaining about finances and my work ethic. I know now that I should have just ended any doubts by saying everything is under control and not to worry about money but I decided to be beta and take offense.

After a series of insults and threats to leave me I made a bold move. I missed our last ultrasound with the baby, I didn't want to miss it but I chose to play in the legendary 6man volleyball tournament in Manhattan Beach. Insane bodies in bikins everywhere and tons of booze and good vibes. I didn't even feel guilty. She tried to get me to apologize later that night but I told her I didn't feel bad and she can't threaten me or give ultimatums. I struggled to maintain frame but I focused on deep belly breathing to control any emotional response.

It turned out instead of punishing me she had cleaned everything in the house, folded laundry, bought me clothes, and everything resolved itself.

I don't like dread game when the stakes are high but it still worked. In the future I plan to express my confidence in myself and our future to dismiss any further complaints.

First time post, hope I can contribute more in the future. My wife makes a very interesting case study!