Mate guarding is a form of shit test which your female will apply to make sure that you are a good enough potential mate. As a male, it is our duty to try and discover the 'tipping point,' which is crucial if you want your relationship to succeed.

What I mean by tipping point, is that there is a balance between her behaving in a way where she attempts to make you jealous (behaviour to which you shouldn't respond) and blatant, flagrant disrespect. Yet not all woman have a balanced tipping point, the same way knives are not all balanced at their centre.

I once had a viper of a girlfriend. A real dark triad woman. Now, there was no equilibrium to be found with her. She was just fucked up. Let me put it into context.

My sister's boyfriend of 7 years, who was like a brother to me, had died in a tragic motorcycle accident. Three days later we have the funeral and wake. I travelled away from my now ex-girl, back home to attend the funeral and she didn’t come with me because she had to work. Some will say 'she didn’t come with you? red flag.' Maybe. But tbh I had to handle real shit and support my family and didn’t need her being more of a burden. Anyways, here we are post wake and I’m a little drunk and hanging out with my closest mates. (The GF knows this because at the beginning of the day I tell her via text what my schedule was like during the day.)

I then get a text from the GF, (she’s 4 hours ahead of me - like 2 am where she is) asking me if she can go back to guy x's place, smoke a joint and listen to some music. Yes, you read that correctly. She asks permission to go back to a guy’s place who I don’t know and do drugs and listen to music. Alone. At 2am. On the day of my bros funeral. Here is where the tipping point comes into play.

This was all pre RP for me, so of course I became furious and was like ‘no fucking way, put yourself in my shoes etc etc.’ We got into a huge argument and i ended up apologizing for being jealous. Silly me. I could have done so many other things. Let me explain my options:

a) Say “have fun” and let her do her thing. Shows that I don’t need her at all. Points for me, but she probably would have gone to his place and fucked him anyway. I lose.

b) Set a boundary. Emotionlessly tell her that if she does go to his place, I wouldn’t be in her life anymore. Now, while I’m not a fan of ultimatums, here is where I think you can draw a line in the sand. Comes across as jealous but affirms that I’m not going to take any of her bullshit. Win for me.

Or the nuclear option:

c) Dump her ass right there. If you are dating a girl and she attempts to test you at the toughest point in your life, (for me that’s a family member dying) then YOU SHOULD EXTINGUISH HER FROM YOUR LIFE. Because you don’t need that sort of poison when you need support.

These are just a couple of options. What I am telling you is that mate guarding is very case specific. If you have a real problem and she tests you, cut her loose. You don’t have time for that sort of manipulative bullshit.

In mate guarding, its not who, what, or why that is important but rather WHEN the scenario occurs. If you consider mate guarding at a bar when other guys are hitting on her, don’t do it. When she tells you about some co worker who is hitting on her, her behaviour regarding their interactions should dictate your next play. But if she tries to manipulate you when you are going through some real shit…dump her ass.

There is a counter argument to this of course. In the book ‘the way of the superior male’ summed up succinctly by /bluepillprofessor, you can assume that your girl is shit testing you “because she wants to feel Shiva. She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars. She wants to feel you are a superior man." Being non reactive probably could have worked out for me in the above scenario. But honestly, I don’t have time for a woman who is going to shit test me when she should be supportive. I actually think this scenario was a perfect indicator of WHY I should dump her.

Just my 2c.