Looking back on my teens and 20’s, one thing I’d do differently is choose better social circles.
Usually when people say that they go on to talk about how their friends were druggies and low-lifes, but for me that wasn’t the case. My childhood friends were nice enough, just kind of passive and low-energy. We were ‘normies’ and spent our time playing video games and watching sports. Of course we talked about chasing girls, starting businesses, and taking cool trips, but rarely had the balls to see these ideas through. As the years went by, infighting emerged and the group drifted apart.
I think we got comfortable hanging around our small town, and didn’t want to push ourselves to expand beyond it. This was OK for awhile, but then we left for college and all of us (from what I’ve heard) had issues adjusting. I thought I was a solid dude across the board, but I had a ways to go before I could compete socially at the large state university I attended.
Most of my friendships up until then had been forged out of convenience. Some of my oldest friends were neighborhood guys I literally met on the school bus. Once I got to college, I hung around other people in the dorm. Nothing wrong with these types of friends, but they are a crapshoot. Some can be good, others you aren’t going to actually be congruent with over the long term.
I eventually realized the pareto principle should also inform your male friendships. I am not saying only hang out with Chads. I’m saying you need to filter for quality in your social network. You need to find guys who really add value to your life. Guys who are down to do fun shit. And yes .. most of these value-added guys are in the top 20% .
Because let’s be honest: most guys just don't do very much. Even if they are trying and working, it is mainly on themselves. And that is OK, but it means they don't have much to offer others yet. These types of guys should be respected, but if you form a group with them you can bet the activities are going to skew towards distractions and blue pill stuff.
I encourage the younger members of this forum to aim high when socializing. Don't be a douche about it, just find some guys who are active and interesting. Guys who have some semblance of a plan about how they're going to come up in the world.
You want to associate with a group that does shit. It can be any thing. Lifting. Going out & meeting girls. Being funny. Organizing road trips. Working to get into different career fields. Guys with unique backgrounds and perspectives. Etc.
Learn from these people and offer value in return. Build a network and introduce people to each other. Girls + fun experiences + job opportunities will inevitably follow.
Just don't be fucking boring.
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