Yeah, yeah. Read the sidebar, read the posts and comments, we know this in theory, but...

When she’s HB8+ (on your individual scale) all of the sudden it gets harder to follow this rule. Why?

Because you start excusing her craziness. You start sympathizing with all the crazy shite she spewed to capture your attention. You start excusing it because her release of crazy was focused on building intimacy with you, and that flatters you.

That’s the trap. A trap focused on making you think that she’s different, maybe not really just simply balls out crazy. Maybe she’s a damaged unicorn that you can “save” from her own craziness - a crazy induced by other people wronging her and not by the solipsistic nature of her own choice structure. You think you’re different and she uses that to make you think she’s different.

She isn’t. She’s just crazy. And if you SYD in it, you will regret it.

So what are the details of my particular experience with this?

Doesn’t effing matter. It is the internal process of understanding that matters. I broke the rule because I was weak. I was still looking for something that I rationally understand doesn’t exist.

I knew from the second hour of interaction that she was crazy, but I excused it out of hubris. I thought I was special, I thought I could dodge crazy. Then after violating the rule I thought I could uncrazy her and build a unicorn, and I am worse off for my hubris except for one thing.

Now I truly understand that crazy is crazy, and never worth getting it in.

Heed the warning and don’t be a knucklehead who has to learn the hard way. I still don’t know the full cost of my hubris and ignorance yet, but I do know that it definitely wasn’t worth it.

And yes, I understand that these days they’re all crazy to some extent, you just have to choose your line carefully and conservatively.

Now, having just received a truly tantalizing offer from a ridiculous-hot single mom, I’m gun shy.

There’s no Shangri-La here fellas. Just be cautious while you enjoy the decline.