On flakes and how to reduce them

Rommel0502 · 2016-03-29T22:22:50+00:00

I thought this was going to be dandruff advice ...

TheDonald2k16 · 2016-03-29T19:31:01+00:00

Flakes are a form of LMR and ASD.

For example, a flake can be because you got a bit too intimate and physical. She may have enjoyed it at the time, but wakes up the next morning with regret.

I think the best way to avoid flakes is not to overplay your hand and find a way to give her the tingles and then leave her wanting more. It's like a cliffhanger in a TV show. Writers use cliffhangers at the end of a season to ensure the audience will return next season. If they wrapped up the plot in the season finale, viewers would be satisfied and not have the sense of urgency to tune into the season premiere next season.

Find a way to leave her hanging on a cliff. Hold back to let her know that there is more, this will give you leverage.

TLDR Rome wasn't built in a day. Find a way to pace yourself and leave her wanting more.

[deleted] · 2016-03-30T20:44:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kingofmyworld909 · 2016-03-29T19:10:38+00:00

Good Post. In my experience, it's usually always been when I solidify the date with time/venue (like you did) that the girl doesn't flake. The usually is because sometimes they are genuinely unable because of work or whatever, but having the plan made down pat on my part has them rescheduling to meet at a time when they can. Granted, there are still some flakes that one may encounter (even with the measures to prevent such from happening), but i have noticed that they are less flaky when one gives no room for the woman to make a decision with respect to specifics.

One thing I've done to reduce flakes is to keep the meeting appropriate to the level of involvement with the woman in question (talking about any woman in one's life, as they're not all going to be strangers or new acquaintances). I'm not going to go bungee jumping with someone on the first date, or second, or maybe even the third (although this depends on their proximity to the activity i.e. they happen to be an instructor or something along those lines). Since I became aware of the truth, I've tried to make a conscious effort in rewarding women as they earn said reward. This is how I manage my women, although I'd appreciate any words on differing tactics.

EMON87 · 2016-03-29T19:02:43+00:00

I see absolutely nothing wrong with your text conversation.

You didn't overstay your welcome.
You spoke as though juggling your conversation with her and something else.
She suggested the date.

I don't see why you're not happy with this exchange? This is correct.

snow_angel022968 · 2016-03-30T01:10:25+00:00

I haven't the faintest clue how to reduce flakes (other than adjusting when I invite them to do things - that would require knowing whether they're flakes or not though) but from a female pov, here are some potential reasons why:

she had a date with another guy between her agreement and your date and decided she like him better. She's not used to turning down dates and so, feels guilty, so rather than directly dealing with the problem, she'll avoid it altogether
a friend invites her out to do something and it turns out to be much more interesting / takes longer than expected
she talked to her friends about this date and they've convinced her not to meet because of certain red flags based on description of the guy
long, tiring day; she no longer feels like meeting up

Edit: formatting

MrTrueKillah · 2016-03-29T19:15:09+00:00

Do people in us use watsapp?

TheRedPhillip · 2016-03-29T22:53:37+00:00

Be more ambiguous with your availability information. If a girl thinks you don't have a lot going on, why should she be urgent to hang out with you? Its about having as high of a SMV as possible, The 48 Laws are great for this. These specific ones come to mind: Laws 3 - conceal your intentions Law 4 - always say less than necessary Law 11 - Learn to keep people dependent on you . The more attraction you build, the easier it is, and the more you have her guessing and intrigued, the more attraction is built.

Another crucial component of avoiding getting flaked on is having no "outcome dependence" If a female gets the impression that you "expect" too much than she'll always opt out. Women, like kids, just want to have fun. The post "Girls just want to have fun" is an awesome perspective on this.

Edit: I would also avoid "validating" her idea of how busy she is. That's how you want her to view you, so when you build up the idea that she is a "busy girl" it reinforces the potential of her flaking, instead of her fear that you're too busy for her.

foldpak111 · 2016-03-29T23:59:05+00:00

If you have flaky skin you should take a cold shower, BRAH.

bigcitytruth · 2016-03-30T20:53:07+00:00

Is this post supposed to be instructional? Sorry to say, but you don't know what flirting means. She will probably flake because your initial conversation was idle chitchat. There was no tingling, no humor, no sexual tension. You may as well have been texting your mother.

To reduce flakes, STOP chitchatting so much. Go for an emotion. REAL flirting. The longer you wait to establish a sexual tension vibe, the harder it will be to get yourself in there. (Look up Braddock's Dynamite Theory for a good primer).

For example, you could have capitalized on her being a hot teacher. Being bad and getting detention. Spanking with a ruler. Instead, you just made boring small talk. So boring that you even made yourself bored. Have fun and see how far you can go. You'll be VERY surprised how receptive women can be if you have no fear and go for it.

I recommend flirting in the morning and, when you hit a high note, go for the date after work that same day (6pm). Double book the date by asking ANOTHER woman out to meet about 2 hours later (8pm). If one flakes you still have the other. If the first one shows, YOU flake on the 2nd. If you consistently do this, you'll have more plates than you can deal with.

Benny757 · 2016-03-30T02:09:26+00:00

Flakes indicate an initial or very early introduction into the "possible" relationship.

To reduce the no-show, you must game to the point that you have a sort of relationship before you meet again. If it is a first encounter, then this just sometimes is not possible is she may be a no show, period. Next.

But of you two were interested....in one another over social media, email text, Match, etc.etc,.... and the date is set, at a location mildly in her favor as far as location/choice (i.e. somewhere she thinks might be cool just a wee bit closer to her) then commit to it, research it a bit, and get there a bit early and order your own God Damned drink, and relax. When she comes, you are there and present. Chances are, she won't flake at her own chosen place. You help here decide a location she is comfortable with,

For example, in your conversations, ask what really cool places does she really like (particularly to "EAT" reasonably close to where she is. If you come across one, you lead the date into her thinking she decides "she" will introduce you to "her" favorite place. If you can find out her favorite dish, then all the better. Dessert? Her favorite, or yours....tease on this....doesn't matter who wins, but ALWAYS share. Why? It's intimate. Trust. Together. Tease bites, steal, nudge with chocolate, you get the picture....

Now the bill. The fare should never exceed 40-50 bucks. Don't go overboard friend. The place you go has got to be $$ or under. If not, NEXT.

Pay the bill, and say, "you can buy me after dinner drinks" or "you can buy round two." If this is the first date, walk her to her fucking car. Be confident and direct. Approach her slowly, directly, and in charge, and lean in and kiss that bitch, delicately, slowly, and in CONTROL. If resistance or push-off, back off and you are done, send off. But if she is receptive to the kiss, the dye is cast. Next date you will be fucking, so make it at your place. Dinner served by you. (better start learning to cook and serve wine).

Flakes that don't show are flakes you don't wanna go.

CryptoManbeard · 2016-03-30T12:23:13+00:00

I mean how many times have you met a girl out and really hit it off, only to text or call her the next day and not get a response?

Never, because I'd never call a girl the next day, it reeks of desperation. Rules are rules for a reason.

For example, let’s say you meet a girl at a bar and for the next few hours, continue to escalate to the point that you’re very physical.

You're at a bar filled with beautiful women and you hunker down and spend hours with one? She knows you don't have any options.

From your text conversation and post you're going all in on one girl at a time. You don't sound like you have options, it sounds like desperation. Try being busy and unavailable. If you were really interesting you actually wouldn't care if she called you back because you'd have other more important things to do then waste your time with someone that wasn't interested. That's the head space you have to be in. You may have to fake it till you make it but your end goal is to be an interesting person who's very busy doing important or interesting things, such that spending hours at a bar with one person or having protracted text conversations isn't going to fit well into your schedule, especially not for a flake.

On flakes and how to reduce them

Summary

Body

Why do flakes happen?

How to minimalise flakes

Lessons Learned

Comments

Title	On flakes and how to reduce them
Author	ohsoentitled
Upvotes	10
Comments	16
Date	March 29, 2016 6:30 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4cgsc5/on_flakes_and_how_to_reduce_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/on-flakes-and-how-to-reduce-them.57357 https://theredarchive.com/post/57357