Successful Lonewolf

I am back and this time it is with a happier ending. I am sharing because it might push some of you over the fence and do what I did.

I recently turned 30 and I have noticed that most of my friends with some exceptions have completely shut down when it comes to go out and meet people (women) in bars and nightclubs. Some of them are in LTRs and some just stick with Tinder. While I agree that there are many other places to meet women (not your work place) I still think it is easiest to get access to DTF women at these establishments: Women are there to get laid and they can't protect themselves from your charm by swiping left. My two friends who would go out were out of town so I decided to Lone Wolf it.

This whole thing really puts me outside my comfort zone and the three hours leading up to the departure from my apartment were terrible. I don't get it; I can speak fluently in three languages in front of hundreds of people but I feel shame and nervousness going out alone. I was hamstering about someone asking me where my friends are or who I am here with. Newsflash: nobody gives a shit about it and even if they ask this question they don't really care about the answer, it is just making conversation. So after swallowing three beers I got on the Subway and went downtown, palms sweaty. I suggest going out later than perhaps you would as a group since people will be more more drunk and their defenses are down allowing for better conversations.

After a few minutes in the queue to the first place, a decent bar, I strike up a conversation with the guys ahead of me and then later with the two women behind me and this diminishes almost all of the nervousness immediately. Keep it light, just have a conversation with someone as fast as you can. It doesn't have to lead to anything. I talk to a few people in the bar including an older, very interesting man who I literally talk to for 30 minutes (mostly listen to him). I have fun, and people pick up on it: When the guy leaves the bartender tells me she wondered what we were talking about so intently. A queue to start talking to her but I mess that up.

I end up going to three different places this evening but the last one is the most interesting to talk about. The last one was a nightclub with three dance floors, I don't like clubs due to the outrageous prices and sound levels but you have to play the game to win it. I arrive and talk a bit to the guards outside, to the bartender then head over to the blackjack table and make friends with the guys playing away their salary there. I do this because it relaxes me and I like watching cards, remember that I am here to have a good time. At some point a HB8 comes up to the table, she knows one of my new friends and we are introduced. She is his GF and they are there with a large group. She says something to him, looks at me and shakes her head then walks off somewhere. I leave the table to go outside and smoke where I strike up conversation with a girl smoking alone, we chat for a while until a really drunk guy joins us. He is wearing a paper crown and is getting married, I tolerate him for about 20 seconds then I leave.

At this point I join the first dance floor and shortly I run into the girl from the blackjack table and her posse (5 girls dancing in a ring). I approach and ask her something light about gambling to which she responds well, we banter a bit and then I am let into their ring. Unfortunately the dance floor is where it happens in a nightclub so if you hate that I suggest you learn to love it or have alternative means of success. The dance floor is in my opinion where an average looking guy can get a gorgeous woman if he does it right. In their group there is a girl that is my type that I set my sights on. I slowly make my way to her and then tells her something fun about her dance moves and she smile. We dance and then grind for a while. Then I leave abruptly to go grab another beer and check out the other dance floor. In the bar I run into the previous girl from outside who tells me I was an asshole for leaving her alone with drunken marriage guy. We joke for awhile and eventually she tells me I should ask for her number. This is another prospect for closing time. To cut a long story short; I end up bringing the girl from the posse home with me. As the club was closing I was outside talking to someone and she came out with her friends and I approached her with a stupid line involving a dance course at my place, a grin and a hand on her hip. Basically my very basic tactic is to just wait for one of my prospects to come outside and then I escalate.

The lesson I learned here is that going out alone is a lot like going out as a group. In the end you mostly hunt alone anyway. If you have a group of guys that are all sharks prowling shallow water, men that can take care of themselves and know themselves then it can be good to be a group since you multiply the chances of success with a group of women. Approaching a group of women as a lone guy without an in can be very daunting unless you are some serious hardcore PUA (which I am not). But other than that I actually think going out alone was quite liberating; no demands on venue, no drama from women who wants everyone to go back to one place together, no cockblocking (unintentional) and no guilt from leaving your friends behind. It is just you and the hunt.

Some key things that I have figured out about "lone wolfing" and nightclubs that might be helpful

• Nobody cares if you are out alone, really

• Talk to as many people as you can and keep it light

• Enjoy yourself and make sure you have fun, it will be noticed

• You will get shot down/rejected, pay it no mind; just turn to the next and carry on

• I never ask for numbers anymore; take them home that very night if I can or just forget them. In my opinion women flake 9/10 times from random numbers in a nightclub. It is the guy that brings them home and fucks them that she will remember. If she asks for your number or if like happened here; she asks you to ask for her number flakiness probably goes down a bit. Still better if you bring her home.

• Do not be afraid to leave her during the evening, if she is enjoying your company up until you disappear she will enjoy it when you find her again.

• I have learned to enjoy the dance floor for what it is; getting close to women and peak their interest, if they respond then you get close to grind them. If they allow for grinding they will fuck you if you behave right and don't fuck it up (see next point)

• The more time you spend with a woman you want to fuck the more chance of you fucking up; leave her when it is at its high point and don't cling to her like a loser. Find her when the club is closing and bring her home.

• When the club closes is where it happens, make sure you are available and have a few prospects and make sure they don't leave before you get to talk to them again and when you do; ESCALATE.