for background- My wife (26f) and I (29m) have been married for going on 5 years. I've always been...hefty. Over 300 lbs when we got married, and about that size from the day we started dating. She on the other hand, is a yogi, very in shape, and gorgeous. I had several sexual relationships before our marriage, she'd sex had one time.

So, about 10 months ago, she said she needed to have a serious conversation with me. She told me that she wasn't physically attracted to me, and that she wished I was more in shape. I was a little hurt, but also completely understood. I started going to the gym, and was just feeling super fatigued and despite my efforts, seeing absolutely no changes, so I went to a male hormonal specialist after about 5 months. Turns out, I have very low testosterone for a man my age. This problem is compounded by weight, and so I was put on a drug called Clomid to help bolster my natural testosterone production. Flash foward to today- I weigh 240 pounds, starting to see muscle definition, and I feel better than I have in years.

Compounding this issue, I have had to move 300 miles away 3 months ago for a job, while she's finishing out her fiscal year at her old job and then moving down. We've seen each other sparingly during this time.

So, here's the problem- last night she told me that it's beyond just not being physically attracted to me. She feels nothing "chemically" when we have sex. She says that emotionally it's amazing, and that once we start, physically, it is awesome, but that chemically (and I keep using this word because she did) I do nothing for her. She also feels like she never got to experiment sexually, and is missing out on a lot of things. As a result, she wants me to allow her to go have sex with other people, while staying married.

This is something I can't do. I'm not religious, she's not religious. I'm just devoted to her. It's painful to me that i'm not satisfying her, and I'm willing to do just about anything. I'm just so lost right now and would really appreciate any advice on how to help her get that chemical attraction back. I'm not even sure if this is enough information, or makes sense. I am having a hard time concentrating, so I apologize if this is rambling. if you need more info, feel free to ask.

tl;dr- wife doesn't feel a chemical attraction to me, wants to have an open marriage. it's not an option for me and i want to get the spark back.

Troll or not, here we go again...

"You are beginning to disgust me, but I love your big paycheck and the material goods you provide for me. I'd like to go out and get stuffed with miles of cock while you sit at home and jerk off. You are so low value, I know you'll stick around."

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But hey, she is just being her hypergamous self, right? I can't blame her for that.