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[–]1thediamonddawg43 points44 points45 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I understand what you are saying and I am sure most people agree with what you are saying. The real problem arises for many in figuring out methods to overcome the pull of the benign activities.
[–]ShotgunTRP15 points16 points17 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I completely agree with this. It's easy to tell the fat cunt "stop eating. Tell the fat cunt what he should do instead (create an eating plan and exercise plan and stick to it with military discipline)
[–]good_guy_submitter1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's still not so simple. As someone who struggled with an addiction, I knew it was bad for me, I knew what I had to do, but I still wouldn't do it.
Not all addictions are hard drugs (mine was not). Food, TV, video games, porn, etc. Btw masturbating is generally not an addiction, you remove porn and the masturbation habits will go down to a natural healthy level 99% of the time.
The addiction becomes part of you, just something you do. And all the help and advice in the world from other people does nothing to change it. The best thing for an addict is to be cut off, is to face the consequences of the addiction, sooner the better.
Either that, or do something like Jordan Peterson self authoring and put together their own plan, then post publicly about their plan and be held accountable to it. Getting an addict to invest in themself is not easy, but it's the only way you can help.
[–]ShotgunTRP0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
totally, never said it was simple.
My point is when people need help with something that is overpowering their lives, telling them not to do it is pointless, they already know that.
[–]1thodthegod9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's very true. The method to overcome them would be to keep doing the beneficial activities. The hardest part about it all is breaking old habits and forming new ones, but this becomes easier once the habits are formed. This is why mindfulness is so important, as it keeps you aware of yourself and your surroundings, so you can assess both of these and be able to determine the best thing to do for yourself.
[–]1thediamonddawg9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am glad that you mentioned mindfulness! That's a major key.
[–]Drenmar6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The average person sucks because they don't even know themselves as a person. They have at best a vague notion of who they are and what they want in life and just dabble in mediocrity. Even if they find out what they want some day, they easily get distracted by games, tv, porn and Reddit (the latter I'm guilty of myself, obviously) and can't stay on course. Mindfulness helps with all of that so it really is a major key.
[–]Shaman66242 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's easy. The only method that works is to quit bad habits one at a time, cold turkey. Two weeks before you quit the next one. The hard part isnt't theorizing about what method to use it's following through and actually doing it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's finding the attention span to do it all.
I exercise, but you're talking 2 hours tops and not everyday. I enjoy reading but there are so many books out there, you're more likely to select something easily forgettable than something genuinely worthwhile. You can take up a new hobby, but again they often prove to be boring.
Need to plan this shit out and work at it.
[–]TunedtoPerfection6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your calling into the trap of " paralysis by analysis perfectionism"
Your afraid to take action because it might not be "the very best option."
You don't have to finish books you are not enjoying. If you get 100 pages into a book and if your not connecting with it, stop reading it. You didn't "waste time on a shitty book" you found out you didn't like book XYZ enough to even get past the first 100 pages.
What do you think is a better reponse if some chick your gaming brings up that she LOVED the first Harry potter book?
Option A:
"Never read it, Harry potter is for fags"
Option B:
" Harry Potter is garbage, couldn't even finish the first 100 pages. I can't get into books where "magic" is the driving force behind plot, to easy of a cop out in my mind."
Hell, I know most pop culture stuff is either about to be ruined(GoT last season), is currently being ruined(GoT this season), or was complete shit from the start. But you should give it a chance if for no other reason to form a polarizing opinion on it supported with reason.
It easy to say "Oh yeah GoT sucks this season." but that doesn't polarize with people and you come off trying to be "Cool" by hating on something popular, like hipsters do.
But if you can explain that it sucks this season because the characters are all becoming muddled versions of themselves to support various groups in our culture, i.e. Dragon chick is now apparently a feminist icon while in the books she runs around like a horny 14 yr while the men she has with her run her empire from the shadows. As well as the dumbing down on the intricate storylines for a more mass aucdience appeal. Combine that with a forced "team mentality" is starting to overshadow the character's actual goals and the show just lost its spark for me.
Opinions like that are how you become an interesting person people want to have a conversation with. Despite what most people in this sub think and how half the fake FR go. In the real world you actually need conversation skills to pull women. One of those skills is having her invest more then you. If she is vehemently defending her liking some book you couldn't get past the first 100 pages off, her pussy is gushing as she is doing it
[–]good_guy_submitter1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I combine shit like working out and reading. Audio books are a God send.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
lol fucking below HB9s. Get real dude even well established alpha types date as low as 7s without shame.
If you say you're only tagging nines you're either lying, have a fucked weight scale, or are in a position of power (actor, athlete, club owner, etc)
[–]swiddie 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I fuck 10, but I pay per visit. Prostitution is a glorious...
[–]Arabian_Wolf5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gotta kick the pussy off the pedestal in a couple of days through that.
[–]1thodthegod3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You missed the point. The post wasn't just about getting to only fuck HB9 women, the main purpose is in the title. The use of them was simply for example. High quality men get to bag high quality women, as they can do so because they have great mindfulness and have built themselves up. Never did I say one only had to fuck HB9's, just to get to a level where one is able to.
[–]Misplacedstock9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I really want to spend all my time improving. I tried for a few days this last week. 14 hours(2 hours for being social) a day of reading, listening to podcasts, gym, sauna, cold showers, rock climbing, jiu jitsu. Then one day I got up at 5 am extremely sore from the previous days heavy lifting(rolling and rock climbing for a few hours probably didn't help), I just started watching a little tv instead of my morning ritual of stretching, brush teeth, cold shower, and heading to the gym. I spiraled down from there. Now it's been three days since then. I'm going to start up again Monday, but how do I keep everything up? For background I'm a student with a very addictive personality who had to take a semester off living in a college town.
[–]Schroef5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Just my 0.02$, I think OP is wrong.
All change, real change, needs to come from within. Not from a schedule that you force yourself to follow. Not from pretending to be who you are not. From actually changing who you are, little by little.
Addictive personality, or depression, or anxiety or insecurity often comes from low self esteem. That is the root cause: you depend on other people's praise, on external stimuli to do stuff. The problem with that is that you are not listening to what you want to do. You base your actions on what you think other people will value. That's the thing you need to address. This will take a very long time, usually.
You don't have to be a gymrat right away. Cut yourself some slack. If you go once a week you're already going more often than the average person. You're already doing well. Keep that up for a start. Skip a week? No sweat. Try again next week. You might even feel like going a second time one week. Do it. That's you internal motivation, listen to that guy.
Not to people here who say you need to have a military regimen from day one. That you can't have fun once in a while. Or your dad who says you need to do law school or engineering. Or your friends who tell you you need a girlfriend. Fuck that. In fact, don't even listen to my bullshit. Listen to yourself. Who do you want to be?
The thing most important is to stop seeing things as failures. Watching a little tv in the morning is not a failure. Skipping a day at the gym is not a failure. Just try again the next day. It's ok. You're already making a change.
[–]Misplacedstock0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I want to be a bodybuilder. I want to read about philosophy. I want to eat well. I want to become a lawyer. I want to get my black belt in BJJ. I feel like I truly want to, but I have trouble doing it. What I naturally do is play video games all day and when I want to fuck go for an easy lay in an HB7 when I know if I worked on myself I could get an HB10. I don't feel good doing this, it just happens. It's not a case of me trying to do things I don't want to do. It's me not being able to do things I want to do. I get overwhelmed due to an all or nothing mindset. Then I fall back into bad habits. I feel good doing all those good habits in the moment. I slip up once, I fall back into a hole. Every time that happens I feel worse and worse. Cements the fact I won't be able to be the person I want to be more and more. Not just want to be, feel good being.
[–]Suck_My_Prolapse0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why try to do it all at once? Do you actually want to do those activites or are you only interested in them for their benefits?
For instance you don't want to bodybuild because you like it but because of the benefits it will bring (better looks/stength/etc.).
Reading philosophy will make you more interesting and seem more intelligent.
Lawyer will make you more money.
Bodybuilding is easy for me because I enjoy it and not for the results.
Reading about philosphy seems boring to me. I wouldn't do it. If my goal was to be interesting there are other ways to do it that would be easier for me.
Eating well is easy for me because I learned how to cook and enjoy doing that.
I want to fuck go for an easy lay in an HB7 when I know if I worked on myself I could get an HB10
Yeah it sounds like you only wanna do those things to get a HB10. You are basing your life around what you think someone else would want instead of what you want. That is why it probably seems hard.
For me making money, getting in shape and eating healthy was easy. My interests made all those things easy. I didn't do it all at once though. I did one at a time as I naturally picked up new habits and hobbies through life.
I also play a lot of video games as well. I am not gonna throw away things I enjoy to be something else for someone else.
My advice is to not force yourself to do too many things you don't actually enjoy at once. If you don't like working out but want to get in shape. Maybe reduce the amount you work out and join a fun sport.
Maybe put the BJJ on hold until you get in shape. If you want to seem intelligent but get bored reading philoshophy then maybe try reading about politics/science/etc. If you want to be more interesting just hang out with people and do fun things.
If you actually liked doing those activities it wouldn't be hard to do them. You would be excited to do them.
All you need to land a hot girl is two of 3: good looks, money/status and charisma. You don't need to do all this BS and spend all your free time trying to be the perfect man. That sounds exhausting. You would prolly be better off working out and playing video games while also going out with friends. You will be improving your looks and charisma while only doing 1 thing you don't actually enjoy.
[–]Schroef0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Little late reply, but nonetheless.
I want to be a bodybuilder. I want to read about philosophy. I want to eat well. I want to become a lawyer. I want to get my black belt in BJJ.
Ask yourself for all of these goals: why? Best to not reply to me, because you need to be completely honest, regardless of other people's opinions. For your ears only.
To give you some idea: if the answer to "why do I want to be a body builder?" is something like "because I want people to respect me" or "because I want girls to give me attention", therein lies your possible problem, because this translates to "I need other people's approval to feel good/ not feel worthless".
Again. Why do you want to read about philosophy? Because you want to be able to add to a conversation when you're at a party? Because you want to have deeper conversations with people-- with girls? Again, be weary. Because WHY do you want to have deeper conversations? To impress the girl. Or to show how smart you are, so she will like you more. A.k.a., other people's approval.
I know if I worked on myself I could get an HB10.
Who cares.
The fact that you're mentioning this shows it means something to you. Of course we all want an SO who looks decent. But an HB7 looks decent. You seem to consider it a challenge, a contest, you seem to think having an HB10 as a girlfriend is better than having an HB7 girlfriend. Why? Do you want other guys to think "damn look at that guy, he dates models". Why? Maybe because you want approval, praise from other people? You feel you have to prove yourself to others?
If any of this rings true, your problem is your self esteem. You need to work on feeling worthy without anybody else telling you so. With small baby steps, and appreciating those small steps.
I get overwhelmed due to an all or nothing mindset.
You need to lower the bar, really lower the bar. You're your own worst critic, and you think other people will judge you for it, while the truth is: nobody cares. There's probably a handful of people in the world who genuinly care for you, but in the end the only thing they want is for you to be happy. They don't care too much how. And if they do, if they force you into a life you don't want, cut them out. There's only one person you need to please in this life, and it's you. Not your parents, not your girlfriend, not people on this forum. You.
Once you realize you're the important one, the rest will follow in a natural way. You'll wanna work out, because you want to be reasonably healthy. Maybe you don't wanna read about philosophy, that's fine. You don't need philosophy. But I'm sure there's other stuff you're interested in. Music history, graphic design maybe. Vulcanoes, dinosaurs. Read about that.
[–]MagnumBurrito0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It sounds like you don't have good balance. Give yourself a cheat time everyday. An hour or something to do whatever the eff you feel like.
[–]Misplacedstock0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just have trouble moderating. If I sit down and play video games I don't want to stop, you know?
[–]1thodthegod0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Focus on getting consistent with your schedule. What you're doing is difficult since you are essentially changing your lifestyle, and doing so will bring on mental and physical resistance. Your body and mind need time to get used to these new activities. Stretching and protein help a lot with soreness, and a key to consistency is to do what you say you were going to do when you say you were going to do it. You will think, "I don't really want to right now..", and to combat this intrusive thought would be to do it anyway. It's difficult to get started on something, but once you do, you will be much better off.
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I agree, but I also recommend an hour a day for pointless fun. A man needs to relax. In the old days it was feet up with the paper, these days it's video games or tv shows. Switch off occasionally
[–]morexel 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Just don't do this. It's a slippery slope. If this post calls to you, and it will, reread the original post above.
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE17 points18 points19 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
5 days a week I work a full shift, lift or tan, and study.
I'm allowed an hour to switch off before bed.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm with you. I think a lot of these guys are full of shit with their 24/7 super alpha self improvement. It's really not possible, you'll burn out.
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to work 13 hours a day, 6 days a week. I made serious bank until I got struck with Bells Palsy.
Make your health your number one priority.
[–]ATPsynthase124 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is absurd, anyone with any self control knows that it is perfectly possible to have an hour or two of pointless relaxation and still be productive. In fact I'd argue that you're probably more productive and less prone to burn out if you get some down time every day rather than keeping your nose to the grind stone 24/7
[–]1thodthegod-3 points-2 points-1 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The audience I'm speaking to most likely is unable to do this. They are not in the "improving from already doing good things" stage, so any time-wasting activity will not be beneficial. There is a post on here titled "Young men who come here to create value in their lives, please stop smoking weed." by u/rp614 where a perfect refutation to this is the top comment by u/Thotwrecker.
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Drugs are different ball park to video games or tv shows
They are in the same ballpark regarding the sacrifices people have to make in order to be successful.
[–]Luckylancer961 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is a alternative to giving up bad habits. Turn them to good ones, not work for all tho.
For example: If you play skyrim as barbarian orc with big muscles and immerse yourself, you can carry that "strengt" fantasy to real world. That immersion can motivate you to go gym, use stairs, stop excusing.
Another example: play skyrim as scholar wizard. Try to learn as many spell as you can. Immerse your self as archmage. Motivate yourself to read more books in real life, increase your will power by not doing what you want to do but do what you nees to do.
Last one: watch berserk, dragonball for steroid feeling and pump more weights in gym!
[–]CompromisedReddit0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Movies/TV are more benign/malignant than video games
[–]laere0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Biggest thing I've learned from trp is do what you wanna do. If you wanna work 24/7 then do it. If you wanna spend 2 hours watching a movie or playing a video game after being productive all day then do it. Trp has become way too much of a dogmatic religion with some things.
[–]Schroef0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No time can be wasted on activities that do not benefit you
NO time? At all? So you can never just go out have a drink with friends? Enjoy a movie on your couch after a hard day of work? Sleep in for a bit on a saturday?
Your life must be fun.
Drinking with friends puts you in social situations, movie on the couch is good when you can actually get something out of it, and sleep is essential nonetheless.
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[–]1thediamonddawg43 points44 points45 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShotgunTRP15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]good_guy_submitter1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShotgunTRP0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1thodthegod9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1thediamonddawg9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Drenmar6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shaman66242 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TunedtoPerfection6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]good_guy_submitter1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]swiddie 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Arabian_Wolf5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1thodthegod3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Misplacedstock9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Schroef5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]1thodthegod0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE10 points11 points12 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]morexel 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]PM_YOUR_SIDE_CLUNGE17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]ATPsynthase124 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Luckylancer961 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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