I see these kinds of comments often, and I agree with them. They never sat quite right with me, though.

The reason for that is that while I learned to expect some things based on my mother's behavior, I never saw them going just one way. I happily gave my ex understanding when she wasn't perfect, lots of caring when she was sick, and lots of support when she needed it. Eventually, I became bitter because I realized she would never reciprocate.

It wasn't just that I'd erroneously learned from my mom how a woman should behave - what I had learned was how I should treat others. And I never got it in return.

After reading TRP, I have come to the following understanding of the issue. What do you think:

It's really awkward if parents become so ill that a young child (C) has to take care of them. It flips the roles and screws with everyone's needs. Similarly, a woman (F) subconsciously expects the power relationship with the man (M) to be something like this:

-MF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>C

In that relationship, if the man needs help that only consumes two of those points, he's still fine, but god help him if he falls far enough to reverse the order even for a week. Interestingly, this fits into why "strong, independent women" are so uncaring. They try to elevate themselves too high in power for their own instincts, and any help you need places them above you.

How a caring, slightly subservient woman sees a sick (S) or healthy (M) man:

-M>>>>>F>>>>>>>>>>>>>C

->>>SF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>C

Still good! She loves you and wants to help you get better.

How a strong, independent woman sees a sick (S) or healthy (M) man:

-MF>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>C

->F>S>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>C

Gross! You're such a useless loser.

Conversely, a sick woman in either case will have a long way to fall before she reaches the level of the child, and the man will always be happy to help her (assuming an otherwise healthy relationship).