Why do I keep defaulting to give-up/beta mode?

BoyMeetsHarem · 2013-09-11T14:10:47+00:00

Low motivation is associated with depression, sleep deprivation, low testosterone, and low Vitamin D, all of which also correlate with each other.

Start taking 5000 IU of oil-based vitamin D3 daily, and get your T checked. Make it a priority to get a solid 8 hours of sleep a night. Reduce frequency of masturbation. If you can force yourself to exercise consistently for a month you will get over a hump and it will be easier to continue the habit.

BoyMeetsHarem · 2013-09-11T14:11:38+00:00

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monsieurhire2 · 2013-09-11T14:26:17+00:00

Get rid of TV. Just throw it in the trash. People have been indoctrinated to view TV as a luxury item. It's not. It's a pacification device you're expected to pay for to make your more docile and easy to govern. It's a propaganda delivery device. The only thing worse than bad TV shows is good TV shows because then you want to watch them. TV is watching other people live. It is spectating. Start living your life; stop watching other people live. The Internet can be just as bad, but at least it's interactive. I don't own a TV.
As for an exercise routine, make it easy to start with. Begin by just showing up at the gym and doing a few simple exercises on easy mode. Then gradually make it more difficult. Don't kill yourself on your first few outings. Go for 20-30 minutes and then ratchet up to 1 hour. If you can work out at your house, then do so and save yourself the time and money spent commuting to a gym. If you some extra money, buy a power cage, weight bench, weight set, and put it in your basement. Set some easy victories to build your confidence. The road to health is a constant journey, not a destination. It is also a lifestyle choice. You are never "done." Go three times a week to do exercises. Also, start walking another three days a week. Aim for an hour, but start with 20-30 minutes. Alternate these days so you are exercising six days a week. Brisk walking is good exercise and easier on the body than jogging.
Don't beat yourself up if you have setbacks. Just resolve to do better. Track yourself. Try to put in a few hours a day on achieving your goals, and then gradually ratchet it up.

Doomsday_ · 2013-09-11T14:26:05+00:00

Why are you lazy? See harsh truth number 1: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p2/

The solution is to change your lifestyle and get into a scheduled routine that involves all the things you want to do.

As for the actual "stop watching TV and start doing work" moment, either don't turn on the TV in the first place, or follow some kind of "ritual" that helps you get into the zone to do work. For example, I might make myself a cup of coffee and then after I finish drinking it I get working--the caffeine certainly helps but the structured behaviour that tells me "now is the time to get to work" contributes motivation as well.

Reward yourself for accomplishing goals. E.g., "if I work out for 1h today I get to [insert leisure reward or treat here]." You can schedule put your leisure time/activities at the end of the day, after you've accomplished your tasks for the day or worked for 8-10h.

Make a list of things you want to accomplish each day, preferably the day or the night before. It's much easier to motivate yourself when you have a discreet set of clear goals.

Keep a short journal of your daily activities. No need to go into detail, just write the date and list the things you did/accomplished that day. (you can also cross things off your list) This keeps you honest and helps you assess your progress.

thegman84 · 2013-09-11T23:07:36+00:00

It sounds like you may be dealing with classic symptoms of burnout.

I experienced the same thing back when I was working on my PhD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_%28psychology%29

PinkfloydPurplefloyd · 2013-09-12T05:14:55+00:00

Your body is by default greedy and lazy, and wants to do the lowest energy activity that it can. Adhering to long detailed disciplined lists is high energy; doing new challenging things is also high energy.

Reddit and television on the other hand is a low energy activity. It's your default setting to just fuck around. In this case, you have two tools you can utilize:

Set a low adherence habit for one thing you want to do. Jumping right into the deep end will cause you to put up walls of procrastination. I could recommend you do something like 5 minutes of exercise per day and keep doing so until becomes a habit, until you would feel 'weird' if you didn't do your exercise. Then, slowly increase the amount exercise you do. This is just one example. You can apply this to cleaning; only doing 5 minutes of cleaning a day for example.
Ensure that the task you are doing is the lowest energy activity that there is. This

I repeatedly said to myself (outloud) "what are you doing?? You have stuff to do! Your goals are not being accomplished!! Get off your ass and do something that will improve your future self!!!."

Does not work. What you need to do is take your work and do it somewhere studious with zero options to fuck around, so your work is the only thing you can do. Not watch television nor play videogames. Go somewhere like a quiet library or coffeeshop or anywhere you can think of that can essentially set you on an inertia towards doing what you want to do.

http://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined

dimitrije83 · 2013-09-11T14:54:46+00:00

There is also a nice chapter in the "Feeling good" by David Burns. It is a cognitive therapy book that deals with depression, but the chapter can be used on its own. It is called "Do-Nothingism". It tries to explain the cognitive mechanisms that go on to create a downward spiral of not doing what you know you want to do. You may end up with a lot of negative feelings towards yourself for not doing the things you are supposed to and for not understanding where this aversion comes from.

tallwheel · 2013-09-12T05:25:37+00:00

I'm going to give very different advice. I say, stop giving a fuck and just do whatever the fuck you want. That's my philosophy, and life is fucking great. I sit and watch TV whenever the fuck I feel like it, and don't give a fuck if someone else tells me it is not a good use of my time. My time belongs to no one but me, and I use it however the fuck I want.

I get laid when I feel like it, and ladies love my "I don't give a fuck" attitude. I also don't give a fuck about the ones who wish my muscles were bigger or my beer belly smaller (I fucking love craft beer. It makes me happy, and I'm not fucking quitting it). I make it clear to them that I don't give a fuck what they think of me. I don't allow women or society to give me validation. My own pleasure is my validation.

I'm quite aware, and I agree that having muscles and money would improve my life, and attract more women. However, so does not giving a fuck. Not giving a fuck is my philosophy of life - and this extends to things people tell me would improve my life. Only I decide what improves my life. I've tried spending time lifting weights in a gym, and you know what? It was a waste of fucking time, and it only made my life worse, not better (in the immediate sense).

I say do whatever the fuck you want, and don't let anyone - even those on TRP - tell you how to live your life. Not giving a fuck is the secret... and if you want to get laid, it will get you laid too.

People here are going to say I lack the discipline to self-improve, or that I don't understand the benefits of TRP yet. I say, I've figured out what works for me, in my life, and I'm living life accordingly, fully incorporating my red pill knowledge as well. If what I'm saying is making sense to you, then you might want to read some more MGTOW material. MGTOW tends to agree most with my attitude. And, contrary to what you might have heard, many MGTOWS get laid on a regular basis, and apply PUA knowledge in order to do this. Try it out. Sounds to me like you might be happier over on this side of the pond.

MockingDead · 2013-09-12T03:57:00+00:00

Ironically I am in a near similar boat, and suffering near similar symptoms.

troubadour1492 · 2013-09-12T14:31:14+00:00

I found myself in the spiral of coming home to sit here jacking off the computer myself. I read a million blogs and forums, and sat on my ass doing nothing.

I'm having serious trouble getting out in the world making myself meet women, but I feel like I'm still better off now than I was a few weeks ago. I got off the Reddit tit and bought a classical guitar, and I'm taking lessons. I've played guitar for two decades and change, but I can't read a lick of music, and don't know how to do anything but flat pick. I'm changing that.

Perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, I met a decent looking 21 year old who seems to be making more and more effort to keep me talking to her. I haven't tried to go anywhere with that because of the shit where you eat principle, but I don't think it's a coincidence that I put my energy into guitar and then I found myself talking to viable girls.

This is going to go somewhere. The worst case is I enjoy playing my guitar, and my life is richer for improving my skills. All the other cases are potentially much better from there.

With that, I'm stepping away from the Reddit tit again.

BoyMeetsHarem · 2013-09-11T19:55:53+00:00

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BoyMeetsHarem · 2013-09-11T17:19:24+00:00

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Title	Why do I keep defaulting to give-up/beta mode?
Author	BoyMeetsHarem
Upvotes	18
Comments	54
Date	September 11, 2013 1:47 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1m6b1t/why_do_i_keep_defaulting_to_giveupbeta_mode/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-do-i-keep-defaulting-to-give-upbeta-mode.6663 https://theredarchive.com/post/6663

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