Summary: Recently, my ltr and I have been fighting. Thing cleared up after I realigned to my mission.
Body: The scenario should be familar to any man involved in an LTR. Your woman complains about something in her life. Something that is easily fixed. Something that you've probably fixed in your life a while back. However, when you offer advice it falls on deaf ears. Or worse, your unsolicited advice is met with hostility.
Logically (Mistake #1), this doesn't make any sense. Imagine the following exchange: "I'm starving." "Here's a spare sandwich I made." "I don't need you fix everything."
Needless to say, I lost frame over my mounting frustration (mistake #2), and tried to communicate my way out of the mess (mistake #3). The feedback loop of complaining ltr, attempted remedy, scorned attempt, complaining ltr persisted until I totally disengaged and refocused.
I asked myself, is any of this getting me closer to my goals in life? The answer was no, so I simply stopped caring.
For example, Let's say homegirl complains about back pain. Rather than explaining how I had the same issue, and all I had to do was xyz, now I simply ask myself: "Does this affect my ability to live the life I want?" If the answer is no, then shrug it off. Who cares?
More importantly, she doesn't want you to care. You're the captain of the ship. You're supposed to be a cut above her petty issues. Imagine if someone caught a picture of the president washing his own dishes. The press would have a field day, and vaginas across the land would dry up. Leaders are supposed to grappling with big picture stuff, not trying to solve every annoyance around them.
Summary: Never try to help her, unless explicitly asked. You are a cut above the noise. Stay focused on your mission She want's someone who is looking to the future, not trying to make her life as comfortable as possible.
[–]3whatsthisgarg39 points40 points41 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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