A lot of people come here, read the sidebar and threads and try and put that into practice. But as soon as things don’t go their way they crumble back into their old habits (weak frame).

Here’s the thing: you can do everything right and still lose. You can hit the ball into the top corner and the goalie can save it. You can organise the best festival of all time and it ends up raining on the day. Some things are just out of your control. What matters is that you stay true to what you want and hold your frame.

For example, most girls I sleep with I exchange 5-10 messages max before meeting up. I don’t like the back and forth and refuse to waste my time. This works pretty well, most of the time.

Now on the other hand, I matched with this girl, got her number and things were going well. I invited her out and she told me ‘we’ll need to text more before she’ll get on a date with me’. I told her I’m not a pen pal and gave her the time and place to meet. She ghosted.

There could be a hundred different reasons she, or anyone, could ghost me. The bottom line is that I stuck to my values and didn’t bend the knee. I can take pride in that. My frame is stronger for the next time and I’ll carry that confidence with me.

It’s not always about winning.