I found one!

ThrillHo501 · 2018-06-19T10:48:42+00:00

I hate using terms from TRP but she got alpha widowed by some Capricorn who loved to gamble,loved video games or was a player depending on what she means by gamer. I don’t know if English is her first language. Whoever dates her will constantly be compared to her alpha widow ex.

Spoiler alert: You’ll never live up to her standards.

Sub-Sero · 2018-06-19T11:44:54+00:00

No time to fool around anymore

I spent the last 15~ years riding the cock carousel, even when i was supposedly in relationships i dabbled in new cock unbeknownst to my then 'boyfriend' who i merely placated to use for his resources, silly guy didn't even realize how prowess i am! But my ovaries are screeching now and it's time to shit out babies, so where you at beta boy!

Oh but, there's gonna be standards though, you gotta prove to me you're good enough. Oh and you have to accept my craziness so no Capricorns! that's right, some ex-boyfriend who i showed feelings for burned me like crazy, he was a Capricorn so that's my hamsterwheel logic!

What do you mean sex on the first date? naa-haa boy, you're gonna work for it, so what if Chad got to fuck me in my ass with a simple tinder hook up, that doesn't matter, that was in the past, that was just experimenting! Now it's the future and it's time for you to perform for me, show me your resources, take me out to a nice restaurant!

I want you to be good looking and attractive, but don't be a douchebag, don't show me poser pictures with you and sunglasses!

What you're not 5,8" or higher? Psssh, when will manlets learn not to approach a 5,4" tall Queen?

When i say NO GAMERS, what i mean a pushover who has no hobbies, is forbidden to meet up with his friends in a bar to have drink, in-fact cut those losers from your life billybetaboy because you're here to serve her highness! Oh you go to the gym to much, you're only there to stay in shape so i you get to fuck me, not develop bro-relationships! What are you gay? In fact you'll quit going to the gym and you'll stay active with me by going to my dancing classes!

Oh you came home 30 minutes late from work? Where were you, what were you doing, i've been waiting here sick and tired, i'm pregnant, why can't you be considerate, why didn't you pick up the phone to call me, when i call you you're supposed to pick up the phone immediately, don't you care about me or the baby?!!!! What kind of man are you!

Who could pass up such a deal i ask you?

Wjamie420 · 2018-06-19T13:46:16+00:00

Personality: Tattooed/Pierced Sounds about right

SoulLess-1 · 2018-06-19T12:55:05+00:00

I don't need to lower my standarts to find a partner

For now you may be right, but your time is fleeting.

where_muh_good_mens · 2018-06-19T13:15:25+00:00

I'm going to allow this, as the line "No time to fool around anymore" and "Not interested in skipping steps" are clearly signs that she road the carousel and now realizes she needs to settle down and have children.

But please keep in mind 2 things for future posts:

1) The title should be about the Carol, preferably contextually relevant to what is in the post.

2) Carols like this one who have ridden the carousel should at least be making unreasonable demands, complaining about the jerks now, or is aware there are no decent men. Preferring superficial characteristics like zodiac signs or video gaming is not really excluding that many men from her dating potential. Or she doesn't say in a way that is demeaning to all other men.

SilverGryphon · 2018-06-19T15:48:30+00:00

I expected her to be a single mom, I'm still convinced she is, she just did not admit it on her profile.

TheAlphaRanger · 2018-06-19T16:19:22+00:00

Your’re a Capricorn

ffs

mallardcove · 2018-06-19T15:23:10+00:00

10 years ago she was probably hot.

Red_Hanrahan · 2018-06-19T15:25:33+00:00

Not interested in skipping steps / 32 yo

So even if you met someone today, it would be about 5 years before you would get serious about having kids, meaning you would be 37. Good luck with that.

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-06-19T15:54:21+00:00

I like the knocking out "your grammar skills are that of a 9 year old" Followed by "your're a Capricorn".

TheOriginalBigApp · 2018-06-19T14:08:42+00:00

Gallant? I doubt she even knows what that means.

Epikfail87 · 2018-06-19T14:28:52+00:00

No one is going to point out her terrible grammar, even though she wants someone with good grammar?

CannabisCumshot69 · 2018-06-19T15:14:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LimousineLibtard · 2018-06-20T02:08:27+00:00

Newsflash bitch! "tattooed/pierced" is NOT a fucking personality.

BiggusDickus- · 2018-06-19T19:22:28+00:00

Her inbox begins melting down in 3....2....1....

RationalPessimistDK · 2018-06-19T19:36:02+00:00

The one... female dating profile to laugh at today

Xoramung · 2018-06-20T04:54:30+00:00

For clarification boys, she couldn't handle a said Capricorn because their jokes are too intelligent for her to comprehend. Profession Customer Service my ass, she cannot break a smile.

Title	I found one!
Author	Rognin
Upvotes	103
Comments	51
Date	June 19, 2018 10:21 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/8s7rj2/i_found_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-found-one.349124 https://theredarchive.com/post/349124

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