Real Men Pls

Ferret-Merit · 2019-03-11T00:54:01+00:00

5'4" and 174lbs is not a few extra pounds.

Mecha_Hobbit · 2019-03-11T01:29:26+00:00

"to be took out to eat"

ManateeGag · 2019-03-11T03:02:12+00:00

I can't go out of town, it's out range of the ankle bracelet.

Older_Miggy · 2019-03-11T01:14:03+00:00

Living by myself.

Have children.

Houston, we have a problem.

deathtocontrollers · 2019-03-11T01:14:59+00:00

That is a LOT OF FUCKING MAKE UP.

AliBarakat · 2019-03-11T02:31:31+00:00

"I speak English".

What's next? Do you breath air and eat food too?

Lifty_Pete · 2019-03-11T00:56:08+00:00

Heavy pole smoker...If you feed her first

Caza-putas-baratas · 2019-03-11T03:03:51+00:00

She is covering her mouth and neck with the shadow of her arm, and one side of the eyes by her hair. Casually all of this body parts are where wrinkles and other signs of ageing are evident... mmm... good try bitch!

PM_ME_YOUR_RC51 · 2019-03-11T01:47:43+00:00

Disgusting.

timg01915 · 2019-03-11T02:02:15+00:00

A heavy smoker but only a social drinker, shit Smirnoff served all day in this mf.

Devilsgun · 2019-03-11T01:27:56+00:00

This is putting her best face forward?

She seems stuck in Perma-Mope Mode, and with sniggle momma status (and that obvious entitlement attitude) she's gonna stay sniggle

JRP9028 · 2019-03-11T01:59:37+00:00

I'm a single mo- swipe left

Actually issue left immediately but I thought this was funnier

ChiTownBob · 2019-03-11T04:04:03+00:00

>if y'all are real men

First, she has to be a real woman, not an NPC.

>I'm not coming to u

Well, neither are we. Checkmate.

>living by myself - have children

She just contradicted herself. She totally devalues her children by saying this.

>heavy smoker

Translation: She is going to get lung cancer and cause her children to cry.

Thousand cock stare.

Verdict: Avoid.

JackieChansStuntGuy · 2019-03-11T03:15:38+00:00

I’ll take ya out alright, back behind the barn. Usually women list all their flaws right on the profile, but this one takes the cake.

Basically this is the female version of: “hi my name is jackiechansstuntguy, I’m abusive both verbally and physically, always cheat on my partner, and get violently drunk on the daily. If you can’t handle that then move on. Oh, and I speak English I guess?”

grizzer99 · 2019-03-11T02:29:37+00:00

Those eyes just absolutely scream "crazy". Good luck to any dude who ends up with her. You'll have a rough time

mblazin1532 · 2019-03-11T03:47:12+00:00

I guess you weren't a "Real Man" back when she wasn't hitting the wall and getting plowed out by Chad and/or Tyrese who worked at some Foot Locker and 5'4" and 174 lbs also a heavy smoker to boot WOW damaged goods much or what!

[deleted] · 2019-03-11T06:34:48+00:00

She's really uh...not selling herself too well is she?

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2019-03-11T10:41:37+00:00

There is no fracking way that this is a real profile. This is a troll if ever I saw one. It has already been done, but let me break this down:

Here are a few things to keep in mind, you loser creeps:

Here is an ignorant, trite, fashionable insult to your gender, just to set proper expectations from the get-go.
You have to initiate and do all of the "work" if you want any response from me whatsoever.
I could literally not care less about anything but me and myself and my own needs and feelings - that should be obvious by now. And if I cared about my children's well being, I would not be posting this here, but what-evs.
I demand that you entertain and feed me, for starters - oh, and we are staying local because I have burdens, so good luck finding anything exciting or out of the ordinary, you know, to make the entertainment part of my demands nearly impossible to fulfill.
I am a (nearly) 40 year-old single mother - one of the most horrifically unattractive demographics on the planet - but on top of that I am also an uneducated, clinically obese, unattractive, bitter, obviously deeply angry and resentful hermit, who smokes heavily and gets her fashion sense from reruns of the Adams Family. But hey, at least I'm white.
Here is an unflattering, thousand cock gaze, crappy lighting, low effort, borderline disturbing pose, so you can see what you are dealing with - now start groveling and entertaining me like the little pigs you are.**"

OldFashionMarine · 2019-03-11T12:05:51+00:00

"if y'all are real men"....question all men's character in the first sentence. That'll do the trick....GTFO

CSM_Pepper · 2019-03-11T02:05:57+00:00

RBF, "real men" shaming, speaks English but uses the Dutch word "u", heavy smoker, and many extra pounds for being 5'4".

Verdict: Run, Forrest, run! From Bear Bryant's field all the way to the Gulf. It's the only way to be sure.

Extra_Napkins · 2019-03-11T02:34:16+00:00

That’s a hard pass from me dawg.

I-am-the-lul · 2019-03-11T05:25:09+00:00

Am I the only one who when they read the words "real man", I think cuck/simp/schmuck.

Aldehydee · 2019-03-11T07:00:37+00:00

anything above 140lbs for 5'4" is overweight

Needlecrash · 2019-03-11T12:07:44+00:00

Nothing about this profile is even attractive. She wants someone to buy her food and drive her everywhere. Oh yea, you have to be a real man.

ManReggie · 2019-03-11T02:45:47+00:00

Haha.

What a wasted crop of a human.

Lifehacker85 · 2019-03-11T04:11:48+00:00

5’4 174 lbs heavy smoker and just wants to be taken out to eat? I can only get so erect. Please, tell me more!

Westernhagen · 2019-03-11T04:34:31+00:00

Bad case of Resting Bitch Face there.

AceToMouth · 2019-03-11T04:50:34+00:00

“I’m fat white trash with a kid.”

I think we all know the type of brothas she’ll be attracting.

TEH_PROOFREADA · 2019-03-11T06:18:17+00:00

ＨＥＡＶＹ

𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒶

ＳＭＯＫＥＲ

bk6830 · 2019-03-11T06:45:37+00:00

Single mom. 39. Heavy smoker with "a few extra pounds".

Come take me out I'm not coming to u

No problemo. :D

MomoYaseen · 2019-03-11T10:13:12+00:00

Hahahahaha!

I’m laughing but I am feeling so so sad right now. This is just sad.

“Took”, heavy smoker, whale, and entitled.

Wow.

boisdevie · 2019-03-11T11:47:05+00:00

I'm a real man and there's no fucking way I'd give you the time to day.

3amDinner · 2019-03-11T12:21:50+00:00

(imagines job ad)

hey you unemployed peice of shit. if you're tired of being a freeloading scumbag, come put in an application.

this job is back breaking labor but pays less than minimum wage & has no benefits.

Touch_It_Boi · 2019-03-11T16:17:31+00:00

All these dumb bitches are living on welfare. GG America. GG world.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-03-11T02:05:38+00:00

Wow. Don't insult the customers!

smileyfreak87 · 2019-03-11T03:37:48+00:00

Honestly what’s not to like? Chain-smoking, probably alcoholic single mom? Sign me up!

pecklepuff · 2019-03-11T04:04:59+00:00

"to be took out and eat."

Somebody needs to take her out to elementary english tutoring. How do you make it to 40 and not be able to speak as competently as an average fifth grader?

KhajiitFL · 2019-03-11T04:21:37+00:00

Heavy smoking single mom? That's not my mom?

Give it time, she'll be sucking dick for heroin soon enough.

uglychick123 · 2019-03-11T04:45:43+00:00

I thought that was a beard from the thumbnail

TwilightSea · 2019-03-11T08:02:05+00:00

"Heavy smoker" Yea that alone is a turn off

Project_CLARITY · 2019-03-11T11:39:37+00:00

That's so much fucking make-up you might as well shove icing on her ogre face and present her as a fucking vomit cake. But that might ruin the "I'll suck the life and money out of you" look she has going for her.

DarkNights292 · 2019-03-11T12:15:10+00:00

I’m good, no thanks for the offer🙏

swedishchef123 · 2019-03-11T14:01:47+00:00

I am struggling to decide if this is real. If so, wow.

I am also trying to imagine the male equivalent profile:

If you are real women, come bring me beer and blow me. I'm a single dad of 5 kids, and the football game is on, so I am not coming to you. All I want is a beer and a BJ.

I'm single, short, balding, I will SAY I am chubby, but lets be honest, I am borderline morbidly obese, have a glass eye and no job.

I talk down to you in English.

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-03-11T14:32:44+00:00

post-wall
children (plural)
short
fat
smokes
drinks
wants free food (see fat)
speaks English (sorta)

what a keeper! /s

where_muh_good_mens · 2019-03-11T14:42:32+00:00

Revolting makeup beast of a woman.

mwwarner24 · 2019-03-11T14:45:55+00:00

Fellas, we should be chomping at the bit to get with this

/s.

What an ogre.

[deleted] · 2019-03-11T15:22:29+00:00

Can't go out of town...

What the over under on No Car or Probation?

Blackphish88 · 2019-03-11T16:21:58+00:00

Fat? Check. Entitled? You betcha. Lazy? But of course, good sir.

It just becomes more and more like they honestly do not care and are openly saying "you deserve every bit of shit I give you for even picking my busted ass"

Duchat · 2019-03-11T18:50:18+00:00

A few extra ~~pounds~~ stone.

SirKolbath · 2019-03-12T14:31:17+00:00

You are an inch shorter than I am and a full 35 pounds heavier. Of all the places I could take you, out to eat is not one of them!

TomahawkSuppository · 2019-03-12T14:45:02+00:00

Her SMV is the equivalent of a bicycle that has two bent wheels, no handle bar and no seat - with a big dose of rust. But hey, this can be yours for the price of a Corvette.

Cynewald · 2019-03-15T13:35:34+00:00

You know what a real man actually means in girl language? A big, manly, masculine Chad over 6ft.

Well I'm afraid Chad is going to go for a 39yo slapper thats 35lbs overweight, smokes and has kids, 'sweetheart'.

washingtonpanther · 2019-03-16T12:16:33+00:00

Yeah, it's clear all you do is eat. Maybe less of that, eh?

Tailtappin · 2019-03-19T11:15:37+00:00

60 extra pounds is not "a few extra pounds". Just FYI.

NoFaithInThisSub · 2019-03-11T11:47:17+00:00

5'4"

so when do you grow up and turn 21?

Title	Real Men Pls
Author	YourBoyNutsack
Upvotes	313
Comments	114
Date	March 11, 2019 12:52 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/azmu0g/real_men_pls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/real-men-pls.346547 https://theredarchive.com/post/346547

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