Ugggggggghhhh I hate that a shit post similar was put out this week but,

I’ve been very back and fourth with my ex for a while now, he checks off every box, educated smart attractive etc the only man to be honest I ever saw any idea of a future with. Loved me so much was vocal about constant complements affection etc. but worked a very high stress demanding job. Long hours plans canceled a day before because he’s getting called in. ( this wasn’t anything shady or cheating honestly a high reward but high demand job) we parted ways but both wanted to get back with each other. But I wanted to hold strong and not put myself in a situation I don’t get the level of attention and time I need to be happy especially because I’ll be extremely insecure and and feel unimportant. He’s working a high level job and I’m in college and will be going to law school so when and how we spend our time is complete opposites.

But he got covid, and was hit extremely hard. Collapse lung, hospitalization just awful. I don’t think I’ll live with myself if he died. I can’t go in or be there or see him due to no visitations. I called the hospital to if I could at least mail something there for him but I’m not allowed. All he wants if to get back together he told me i’m all he thought about when he was rushed in and though he would die. I want to help and be there for him and be with him, but I’m scared that I wouldn’t agree to try again if he wasn’t sick.