Hi Ladies I need some advice. I have been dating my boyfriend [27] since 10/10/2019 we talked for about 3 months previous to making it official [BF/GF] only because I wanted to take my time to really get to know him and his intentions. He really pursued me and wanted me no matter how difficult and indecisive I was about getting into a relationship. I would say he is a HVM, he really does constantly make me feel loved and cared for along with many other things. Half of me doesn’t want to rush our relationship because everyone around us keeps telling us to enjoy where we currently are but the other half of me can’t help but to overthink. I’ve seen a couple of posts on here saying that most men propose between 18 and 22 months.

A little bit of history about me: I was previously engaged to my first and only real boyfriend. The engagement lasted about 2 years, we dated for 7 years in total and bought a house together. Although what I explained may sound perfect to those looking in from the outside, it wasn’t. I was mentally abused throughout the 7 years of the toxic relationship. I dealt with the lowest LVM because I thought love was measured by how much crap you can handle. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and have had severe panic attacks over the years due to the abuse and I’m still going through therapy. I thank God every day for helping me gain the courage to walk away from that relationship.

With that being said, I am 25 years old and I want to be married. I want to make amazing memories with my future husband, I want to travel the world with my husband and explore new places, I want to actually make happy memories of buying a home and decorating it with my husband, and most importantly I want to have kids with my future husband. I know I may seem young but I do worry about my fertility clock ticking. I don’t want to wait until my late 20s to start trying to have kids. I have a secure job, a degree, a great social life, hobbies I keep myself busy with and I have met all of my life goals - being married is next. My current boyfriend and I talk about settling down very often. He usually always brings it up first and he says he can’t wait to marry me and have kids, so we definitely have the same goals. The only problem is that he doesn’t have a secure job (his dream job) and it seems like he is using that as an excuse to possibly delay a proposal in the future...

I am also not a confrontational person whatsoever, my past relationship forced me to be silenced so I have difficulties with putting confrontation and arguments in the same category. I am looking for advice on:

1) how I can bring up the topic to talk to him about when he plans on actually settling down. 2) am I allowed to give him a timeframe of how long I am willing to wait or will that sound too demanding? 3) also when would it be a good time to bring this conversation up? Should I wait to the 18th month of dating which would be around April 2021 or should I make conversation sooner??

My biggest fear is being lead on by someone again for 2+ years. I wouldn’t like to even waste a month if we don’t have the same goal in mind. I am tired of putting up with waiting around for men to decide when it is convenient enough for them to settle down but I also don’t want to stress him out with the topic and for it to push him away by sounding demanding.

Any advice would be helpful.