Allright men -

I'm 2 months into MRP. Late 30's, 3 kids (girls) from toddler to early teen. Wife is SAHM and homeschooler.

Read WISNIG, Kay's MAP book, bluepillprof's book and podcast, NMMNG, about halfway through MMSLP but took a break to read some stoic philosophy first. Lifting, seeing visible gains, paying more attention to my appearance, SMV has probably moved from 4-4 (even) to me 5 or 6. Some better clothes and taking care of business at home (just fixing things around the house), some positive social changes - guys poker night, volunteering at church events, etc. My biggest personal thing to work on is owning my shit and paying attention to detail.

I bring the beta bux as an independent contractor, read MRP, and started optimizng my time so I can get done work in 6 hours, not 8, so I go lift during the business day, thus I don't have to lift after dinner. Travel has increased a little this summer, and I did leave the house for a week after a big blowup.

Wife is starting (escalating) her complaints that I am absent. The funny thing is, I was absent before (not quiet as as recently), just off doing lower-value activities like video games or watching TV, or screwing around at work.

I'm acting as if my time is my own, which she accepts (no permission for me to have a night out), but wife is projecting jealousy that my time is my own, and also I'm a jerk/selfish/don't love her because I'm gone so much.

Example:

Earlier today I said I love you, she said I was lying. I STFU. ~90 minutes later, in a more neutral setting, I asked why she said that, and she said if I loved her I'd be present more.

I was bluepill habituated, or AT LEAST PASSIVE, for the first 18 years of my marriage. I was present more. I was present A LOT. She HATED that guy and I've got a lot of hole to dig out of.

So I guess the lesson is - pay attention to what she does, not what she says?

Or is there some ways these might not be correlated? As a SAHM she is tired of having the kids all day and needs to get out. If I can find some way to lead her out ("let the older kid babysit and let's go for a drive, let's just get out of here!") while actually being fun (A&A) and paying attention to detail (OYS), I think I could make a lot of progress first. Still struggling to A&A-the words just don't come.

Stuff I could still use help with:

Moving from STFU to A&A. Fixing short-term memory. Being more clear - as low-value, it seems that the kids and wife strategically misunderstand me from time to time.

thanks.

(Updates for spelling, structure, and "stuff I could use help with")