6 months ago I was idiot and got sloppy with a plate. Wife busted me. Then I panicked like a bitch and tried to break up cleanly with another plate I had. Real dumb. That one found my wife and told her everything.

Since then the wife has been doing PTSD group and individual therapy for “betrayal trauma”and there has been zero physical contact between us. Despite having always said infidelity was a deal breaker she hasn’t filed.

I always accepted that spinning plates could lead to the end of the marriage but now that it’s been 6 months and we are still married but I’m not fucking wifey either. I’ve discontinued spinning plates since disclosure so now I am firmly in her frame because I would rather keep the family together (2 young kids) if possible.

Other than me wanting unlimited access to unlimited pussy, we had a good life, jobs, sex was good, she is still hot, etc.. Our net worth is about equal, both make 6 figures, good home equity etc.

I know what you are thinking...she is keeping me in limbo while she searches for a branch to swing to but I’ve seen and felt zero evidence of that—-she’s genuinely crushed and just now emerging from crises mode.

She wants space but I wasn’t about to abandon the family home so I bought a 2nd property and we are co-parenting with the expectation that we are both celibate. So basically she has me by the balls. This is her punishment for me.

It’s like my value is high enough for her to not race to divorce but not quite high enough to keep fucking me. Her value is above average but we are right at the inflection point where I’ve surpassed her for good.

I’m trying to avoid any ultimatums. You guys think I should keep holding out in hopes of forgiveness or just let her know I can’t wait around anymore and start dating again?

I’m in the prime of my life but I still love wifey. Not pedestalizing just sayin been together since 2006.

Me: 38, 180, 15-16% BF, bench 210, squat 280. On TRT