DEER help

fuzzyface1980 · 2016-08-19T12:44:23+00:00

For my own mental sanity I can't deal with that.

She wants to shove her mental cock up your nose and spray a load of emotional jizz all over your vaginal brain. You are making her wait to do this.

She does not like that. She is then trying to initiate once again, getting more and more blue balled the longer she waits and the more you reject her.

By STFU, you are basically star fishing your wife. She realized she needed to cuddle you as a type of foreplay before she got to the mind fucking. She was happy and thus let you fuck her.

How strange is that?!

redearththeory · 2016-08-19T13:51:17+00:00

This is powertalk op. She is just criticising you to gain the upper hand.

I want to tell her I left because of her shifty mood and attitude.

She knows that. But she is trying to refuse to have that discussion by forcing you to have this one.

She called and said she isn't ok with me just leaving and that is disrespectful

You follow our advice and refuse so she tries to force you to have this discussion

FYI there is no point of even telling you how I feel about an issue if it's not even going to be addressed. So your telling me I'm supposed to release my feelings now at 6am and in 7 hours well then resolve the issue.

Its not about facts, its about dominance.

But OP, did you reward this behaviour?

, I told her I wanted to fuck before bed, she got on her knees, we did, then I went to sleep.

Cause you shouldnt expect good behaviour to be repeated if you punish it by leaving without saying goodbye.

Countpudyoola · 2016-08-19T14:00:46+00:00

Why are you answering the phone?

The rest of what she said is irrelevant. It's the reward for you failing the shit test of being too readily available when she's being a crab.

And bro , dyethc (do you even track her cycle?). How many days out from Aunt Flo is she (or the sugar pills in the pack)?

Do you KNOW when to be scarce. Have thicker skin and be prepared for O.I.? If not, you set yourself up for surprise.

We talked for a minute, I told her I wanted to fuck before bed, she got on her knees, we did, then I went to sleep.

I mean this is great and all, but wouldn't it have been better if you just shut down or weren't there for the shit parts leading up to it?

Are you absorbing her bad feelings for that day a prerequisite for getting to bust a nut?

Jrknighton · 2016-08-19T14:39:32+00:00

She is playing chess, you are playing checkers. She really seems to have the power in this relationship and has figured you out. Do you mention TRP to her or give hints that you are improving yourself for validation? Work on stoicism - she seems to be in your head.

UEMcGill · 2016-08-19T22:48:33+00:00

Amidst all the call for STFU and AA and the like, there are sometimes you still need to talk to your wife. As another poster said, WISNIFG is your friend on this one.

When she calls on the phone to discuss life changing shit, stop it right there. Make her own it, "Listen, I respect you enough to give you the attention you deserve. I can't have this conversation right now. Especially over the phone, right?"

If she starts to get out of hand, call her shit. Tell her, "When you're ready to put your big girl panties on, and have an adult discussion, I'm ready too." This is a great tactic, because there is only one way she can save face in this situation. If she continues to act like a spoiled little girl, you've made your point. This is an instant game changer for my wife. She calms down faster than if someone pushed the morphine drip. Women are about social cohesion, and this works in that manner.

Reward her good behavior with praise and attention.

"FYI there is no point of even telling you how I feel about an issue if it's not even going to be addressed. So your telling me I'm supposed to release my feelings now at 6am and in 7 hours well then resolve the issue...."

This was a ploy on her part if you didn't notice. She wanted you to take responsibility for her feelings. She wanted you to feel guilty for the way she felt. This is easy to deal with.

"Babe, I understand you feel that way [FOGGING], but those are your feelings, I can't fix them."

She will flip her shit, but if you keep repeating it, [BROKEN RECORD] it may get through to her. Don't let her force you into her frame, via this tactic.

As another poster said, read WISNIFG again. It'll help.

redmountainpill · 2016-08-19T14:46:40+00:00

You did a great job of walking away and telling her when you would be available to talk. That showed her that she was being bitchy, yet not tuning her out completely. Any hamstering that she does over the next 7 hours is completely on her. I would go radio silence until 1pm. It's the nicest thing you can do for her because you've been an asshole that's tried to fix every one of her problems in the past. She has to learn to regulate her emotions.

And the part about telling her you're done with the relationshit if she doesn't shape up? Come on man, you're in no position to lay down ultimatums. That's a beta bitch move

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2016-08-20T02:45:39+00:00

You dont want to DEER? YOU DID DEER. When you EXPLAINED that you had to go to work you lied (weak) and it was an explanation for your actions. I couldn't even read the middle paragraph because I didn't want to hear her bitching and putting you in your place.

A good way to get her to knock that shit off is to set boundaries, but you do not appear to be at a level capable of doing that. Dont answer the phone, STFU, and improve yourself first. Make as if she unfortunately lives in the same house as you, but other than that you want no part of her. Fix you. Then lead her.

Title	DEER help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	26
Date	August 19, 2016 12:35 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4yinq9/deer_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/deer-help.207221 https://theredarchive.com/post/207221

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