How do you keep non-sexual things interesting after 10+ years together?

[deleted] · 2016-08-23T20:55:44+00:00

Married 18 years. Yes, it can be tough. I'm not really interested in talking politics with her (we completely agree, so it's boring), and sports don't work (she doesn't care). But we have a 30 minute coffee every day and we just talk about family (our kids primarily) and of course friends and just the normal crazy shit we observe in the normal course of events. With of course sex talk and flirting mixed in.

Nothing wrong with just sitting about watching a show together. Mad Men? if she's not prudish, Californication? Whatever works. I try to do this with my wife, but seriously she falls asleep as soon as the opening credits come on. Although now that I think about it, that doesn't seem to happen at all with OITNB. Strange...

Does she exercise? Then set up a regular weekly running time with her (I do with mine, she's 2 minutes/hr slower than me but whatever). Work out with her with weights once a week. Biking? Hiking? Doesn't have to be every time you do something of the sort, but it should be pretty regular.

Countpudyoola · 2016-08-23T23:42:11+00:00

Well, what did you do when you were dating?

I always try to seek to minimize quantity time if I find it's interfering with quality. Are you guys just always kind of around each other?

I have some friends that I wonder what they actually do when they hang out with their wives since they're always out golfing, hunting , fishing, cigar club, etc.

assured_destruction · 2016-08-24T01:37:32+00:00

Married 30 years,dated 4 before that.

If a woman likes you she will talk your ears off. They are masters on putting their mouths on auto pilot. Just a direct DMA from the brain to the lips.

We almost never run out of things to say, yes it's usually about the crappy tatts on the waitress, the rowdy fishermen at the next table. what she did at the grocery store, where to go camping next

There are how ever long periods of silence, thats not bad either, last I heard her voice was Sunday :D ( ok, I cheated she's out of town, but no phone calls )

Pretty low level stuff. If you think you are going to talk to someone about deep philosophy every day for 60 years, uh god no.

And she was very proud of herself for us acting like newlyweds in the outdoor hot tub at the hotel :D

And that was after getting it twice, once in full bondage.

As far as hobbies, don't expect her to give a rats ass about your hobby, unless it's dancing, then, ok nope, shill no rats asses to give.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-08-24T12:26:55+00:00

How do you keep anything interesting?

Do that

bangorlol · 2016-08-24T13:34:17+00:00

Date her, ffs. I fucking guarantee you did shit with her you didn't actually truly enjoy on your own but liked because she was with you. Take her places where your value will be shown. Impress her with hidden talents (you have things you are good at that she doesn't know about, right?), your knowledge, etc. Go participate in an activity with a ton of attractive and young women - she's going to participate as well as there will be competition.

It's your responsibility to lead her to try new things. One of the absolute building blocks of a solid marriage is to remove any need for your wife to make choices - what to wear to dinner, what goals to set and achieve, etc.

TL;DR - Pull out that Alladin game and show her the world. Shining shimmering tiiiingllees.

MindfulStoic · 2016-08-23T21:13:20+00:00

How do you keep sexual things interesting after 10+ years is the bigger issue for me.

We enjoy similar activities, but after the millionth time fucking it gets kind of boring.

CasperTFG_808 · 2016-08-23T23:11:39+00:00

My wife wants to work out with me but I am lifting weights and she wants to do Jillian Michaels estrogen fests. So to compromise I suggested we do yoga on my non-weight training days. I get a good stretch and work up a sweat and it's the right intensity for her as well.

We have a shitload we enjoy doing together already though. We camp through the summer snowboard in the winter, go to movies. I did cut out things I don't enjoy doing, I won't go shopping with her anymore not even for groceries she drives me mental shopping so I just don't do it.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-08-24T17:04:44+00:00

I don't do anything as a hobby she's interested in

Pick your hobbies based on what YOU are interested in, not what your wife likes. Then talk about your hobby and bring her into your positive, masculine frame.

Verbal intercourse is optional.

Also, read The Book of Pook for an undertanding of what women and men talk about.

IASGame · 2016-08-25T05:45:26+00:00

She doesn't need to have hobbies with you. Just do stuff that you like (we had a couple of threads about hobbies some time back) and then she will probably ask what you were doing and you can discuss that.

If she isn't at all interested in what you are up to, the problem is probably deeper.

Scurvemuch · 2016-08-23T20:36:28+00:00

there are whole lists of books on hobbies, TFA has a few posts on the subject.

also, it would help if you could stop jerking off to porn

or you could make it a hobby, watch it together and get each other off..

Title	How do you keep non-sexual things interesting after 10+ years together?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	August 23, 2016 8:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4z8koy/how_do_you_keep_nonsexual_things_interesting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-do-you-keep-non-sexual-things-interesting.207201 https://theredarchive.com/post/207201

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