How has your progress affected your children?

creating_my_life · 2017-12-25T22:45:36+00:00

Children learn through observation. The best I can do is SHOW and BE the qualities of a good man.

I can't tell them exercise and fitness is important without exercising and being fit.

I can't tell them keeping your cool is important if I lose mine.

I can't tell them not to overreact if I overreact to things.

I can't tell them to engage with their life if I'm disengaged from mine.

I take small teachable moments to explain why I'm reacting in certain ways, or what is going on. I connect the dots for them, and life gives me plenty of examples every day.

BobbyPeru · 2017-12-25T23:31:09+00:00

At first I used to “tell” my son about RP principals (without using the terms). I found that just being an RP example is much more effective.

With my daughter, same thing, but she asks me a lot of questions about her boyfriend, so I answer them from an RP lens. I never say anything directly about her boyfriend or their relationship though- that is important. I speak in general terms and let her draw her own conclusions. This has been effective, and me being an example to her seems to help her make better choices. They need an RP example, otherwise they won’t know a RP man when they see one, and they tend to make bad decisions without guidance through example.

snatch_haggis · 2017-12-26T08:41:01+00:00

Was gonna point you to /r/RedPillParenting but it looks like it's pretty dead.

I think it's more about leading by example, /u/creating_my_life nailed it pretty well.

I am frequently reminded that I am showing my kids the model of what relationships should look like in their later life, and the model for what parenting should look like too. So I lead, I own my mistakes, and I try to do the right thing even when it's the hardest thing to do.

While I'm also the one who sets rules and discipline, I am without a doubt the "fun" parent -- I roughhouse with them, I tell them dadjokes from /r/dadjokes at least twice a week, and I take them on adventures, like backcountry camping, sailing, hiking, and the like.

Do you see yourself passing the "torch" or having the conversation to your children about what you really did in this present time later on in your life?

I just talk about how I've been working on being better mentally and physically as a person the last few years, and that Mom has been along for the ride too. No need to hit 'em over the head with a hammer about it IMO.

They see it and comment on it all the time anyway, especially now that I can throw them over my head across the pool and bench press Mom.

Reach180 · 2017-12-26T17:14:30+00:00

My 14 year old does everything I do. Everything. He doesn't realize it. Hell, I don't realize it most of the time until someone points it out.

And yet, I can't tell him a fucking thing. The moment I tell him something, I'm Charlie Brown's teacher.

Flagfootball99 · 2017-12-26T19:43:39+00:00

Thought a lot about this very thing. I’m 3 years in now. It’s totally changed my life and relationship with my wife- previous 8 yr old dead bedroom.

Thought it was mainly about sex, but turns out now It was all about myself. Totally life transformation and reawakening.

I have 3 young boys, so setting examples and observation is best right now. I make sure they see dad hugging on mom, kissing, every once in awhile lass slap. Being fun, playfull, cocky, but serious when doing work or fixing something around the house. Not whining, taking care of shit. Etc

But when the time is right, maybe early 20s, starting their first job or LTR, I will tell them red pill truths..man to man. Not in a nagative kind of way , but this is how it mainly works. I didn’t discover this place until I was 37, really wished I was 27. Considering I was begging for sex on my honeymoon, cringe worthy I know, I can’t keep this knowledge from them when it’s helped me so much.

SiegreicherMarsch · 2017-12-29T00:57:18+00:00

The insecure, anxiety-fueled behaviors of Dad mess up relationships with kids just as much as with your wife. Kids want to see boundaries calmly enforced, shit tests defeated, and an oak for a dad. I can see that I should not be seeking validation from my relationship with my children, and I see how doing so is messing other families up. Respect is commanded, not demanded. All basic RP, but very applicable to raising a kid.

Once you've been through these things with your wife, it's easier (and more amusing) the second time around. The first time my 3 year old daughter said "but you're hurting my feeeelings" when I calmly sent her to her room, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

thunderbeyond · 2017-12-30T07:52:52+00:00

For me I think its too early to tell how my own change has been perceived by them. I take solace in the fact that the values I hold for myself are the right ones to instill in children - leading, valuing your time, caring for your health and ypur family. I look firward to seeing those reflected in the actions of my kids.

For older kids- perhaps you need to make the right changes and sustain them so that they realise you are the new/better person, not just play-acting as one.

Title	How has your progress affected your children?
Author	Darkomantis
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	December 25, 2017 10:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7m3yim/how_has_your_progress_affected_your_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-has-your-progress-affected-your-children.205027 https://theredarchive.com/post/205027

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