30 years old, married 5 years. Together 15. Two kids 1 and 3. 5’8 170 lbs 13-15% body fat Bench 275 Squat 365 DL 445 OHP 140x10 (haven’t done 1rm in a long time)

Long story short I just struggle with being a little bitch about the fact that my wife doesn’t initiate or ever just seem to really need to have sex with me. I very rarely get a soft no and I don’t even remember the last time I got a true hard no. Has never starfished me. Talks really dirty when we fuck, will suck my dick mid sex without me asking. Despite this I still can’t seem to stop getting butthurt about the fact that I’m not triggering that primal need within her to fuck.

She has been breastfeeding basically non stop for three years and is on birth control which I’m sure both together are really messing with her hormones. I encouraged this from the beginning. Whether it lowers her desire or not I wanted my sons to be breastfed.

I really think I’m majoring in then minors here and worrying about something dumb. Even knowing that and having thought several times in the past to just stop feeling this way it always seems to creep back up.

So does it really matter that she doesn’t initiate if she never turns me down? Am I being a bitch and focusing on something that doesn’t matter? Should I wait and see if she starts to pursue me more once she stops breastfeeding then draw conclusion?