LTR Course correct, please chime in.

throwaway4mrp22 · 2015-12-23T19:27:03+00:00

A few things.

1) I don't recommend legal marriage to anyone at any time under any circumstances. I don't see the need or push to consider marriage, especially you, and especially this woman.

2) What I see going on here is a male player who's met his match in a female player. I see two players trying to play each other in a game of constant one-upsmanship. You're both playing each other, shit testing the fuck out of each other, trying to see how much shit the other will take before detonating this relationship.

3) Your woman doesn't respect you. She shows it by posting pics of her ass on social media against your wishes. She resists you and pushes back on your requests, removes pics, then does it again. She's refusing requests which are in her power to do for you. (I question how reasonable these requests are, since this is an LTR and you don't really have any right to make this request, but... there it is.)

4) I don't blame her for not respecting you, because you don't really love her. You don't care about her feelings or wants/needs. You like fucking her, but I don't get the sense you really care about her all that much.

The two of you are playing an enormous game with each other and getting lots of weird satisfaction from it. Both of you are trying to see how much you can get away with. You're both trying to see how much and how far you can get over on each other before it tanks the relationship. Seems like lots of fun and good entertainment. But do not consider, don't even toy with the notion of, marriage to her. And frankly, she shouldn't even think about marrying you.

enfier · 2015-12-23T19:26:41+00:00

You just need to be in the sidebar more. Nothing you've posted is really surprising. You are getting shit tested and your frame crumbles like wet sand.

is generally angry with me running through the past ALL the time, as women do.

No, as women do to you. It's just standard manipulative behavior - drag something out from the past, make you feel guilty, press until you cave. If you didn't care, it wouldn't work and she'd stop doing it.

dread/lying and shitty boyfriend vibes created by improper application of TRP have corrupted my relationship.

Your relationship isn't corrupted, you just grew a spine and she's fighting it. Situation normal.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-12-23T21:22:25+00:00

You are in her frame, big time. Rather than go into saying why marriage is a bad deal for you, lets just examine your perspective.

This opened a serious can of trust issues, which, we eventually got through.

Great! So she's just learned to accept that you are a high value male who can't help but attract attention from other women? Or, and this is where my money is, you've somehow tried to convince her that you will "change your ways", that you'll settle down for her, that you are trustworthy and would never do anything to hurt her?

I'm going to be reading, and seeing a therapist regarding the pathological lying, I, obviously need to get handled

Stop wasting your money. What the fuck do you been by pathological lying? Is it because she keeps "catching" you doing stuff you promised you wouldn't do anymore? Again, that's where my money is. Stop trying to shape and mould yourself into the man that she says she wants. You are just writing your own one way ticket to beta bucks and a dead bedroom, and maybe cuckoldry.

It doesn't change the fact that I don't feel the world needs to see even a little bit of my chicks ass.

How about Chad thundercock? He's gonna be seeing a whole lot of that ass. You are handing it to him on a plate.

What you've got is a case of oneitis. You've got her on a pedestal. You've decided that you liked her, now you want to keep her. She knows that, and is doing what all women will do in that situation. Keep the Sex kinky, to keep you keen, and at the same time, play you like a fiddle to condition you into doing what she wants you to do. Prepare to see the kinky sex go away after marriage, and prepare to spend a long time figuring out what you need to do to fix it to avoid divorce rape.

My advice would be to next her. Seriously. You've invested only 18 months, and you've not done a good enough job protecting that investment. Instead, you have diluted your masculinity by allowing her to frame reality for you. If you don't wanna next her, then give it 6 weeks of upping your alpha game and see how it goes. No more than 2 months, seriously. Shut down the therapy thing, go out with your guy friends, stop sneaking around, enforce your instagram boundaries if you want to.

alphabeta49 · 2015-12-23T22:29:45+00:00

I get the pathological liar bit. If its really as bad as you're saying it is (saying you're going to the store for bread when you're really going for eggs), then maybe consider some deep introspection, meditation, solo hiking trips, etc. A therapist should be your last resort against personality disorders, which I don't think you have. I think instead you have a huge disconnect between who you really want to be and who you think you should be.

Look up "false self of the narcissist". I'll nutshell it. Sometimes people lose sight of themselves, usually in childhood. This is masked by a facade they create in order to appear confident, happy, and content while they do their best to shove deep-seated feelings of depression, resentment, abandonment, shame, and confusion into their subconscious. Compulsive lying often comes from the fear that their "true selves", the scared, lost little boy, will be discovered.

You don't know why you keep lying? You're scared of getting caught. Which is ironic, because when you lie you create something to get caught with.

Take it as a personal challenge not to lie in 24 hours, then extend it to 2 days, then try 5 days, then a week. Make it a game for yourself, and own that shit. Internally pat yourself on the back whenever you are tempted to lie but instead tell the truth. Continual lying might fly under the radar with ONSs because you can just next, but with an LTR that shit will bite you in the ass.

The other dissonance is related. You can't decide what you want. Is flirting ok or not? You say you can see yourself "with" this girl for life, but you also can't stop flirting around (do you even want to stop?). The only question you need to answer, completely disconnect from her opinion, is "How much flirting is ok?" Once you decide that, she can either take it or leave it. "I'm a high value man whom women like to flirt with. Can't handle it, there's the door."

The problem is that, from the beginning, one or both of you decided that flirting was not ok, so you simply hid it. That's where you fucked up. Your biggest, most ASAP challenge, is to figure out what it means to live authentically. Just you, the true you, no other versions or faces you put.

Decide what is ok with YOU, then let the chips fall where they may. But you need to get yourself to the point where you can OWN it, hold frame, and not give in to her, even if it means the end of the relationship.

I can virtually guarantee you that the problem is not with her, its with you. All that I've discussed leads to things like her disrespecting you and not taking your seriously. Fix you, and she'll either follow or she won't.

RPcoyote · 2015-12-23T23:57:10+00:00

Hey man the signs are there and deep down you know it. Marrying her with rose colored glasses will bite you in the ass later big time. She does not sound like marriage material and you sound like you know it but somehow refuse to cut the cord. Or at least cut fueling your own fantasy that someone a permanent gal like her would be good to your life.

IASGame · 2015-12-24T11:01:12+00:00

Don't marry her. If you really want an LTR now, start over with someone else which won't give you crap about your past.

Married RP is hard enough as it is. You don't want to make it harder on yourself.

In fact, probably don't marry at all. In the current legal system it isn't worth it. What do you get from it?

mrpms2015 · 2015-12-24T17:16:29+00:00

Sounds like this woman has you pegged. Typical RP tactics aren't going to work with her. You started your relationship from a place of 'zero respect' on each side. She will never respect you as an alpha male, but as a hypocrite who can't take what he gives. The best is to move on, despite the pain, or enjoy an alpha bitch who plays you hard and bites back but is worth the toothmarks. Some are worth it eventually IMO but not everyone can revel in that kind of dynamic.

2015-12-25T06:49:17+00:00

Casual mention of lying makes it pretty obvious why you're not getting it.

Title	LTR Course correct, please chime in.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	December 23, 2015 6:24 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3xzmn2/ltr_course_correct_please_chime_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/ltr-course-correct-please-chime-in.207792 https://theredarchive.com/post/207792

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