Maintaining early frame

atlhart · 2017-06-10T15:36:16+00:00

How you handle this is instead of saying you have loads to be off with, you don't say it. You just do it. Build a life that actually does have loads to be off with. And if she asks about it, tell her. She'll be like "fuck me, I thought he was a loser with nothing better to do than to wait on me to make myself available to him....guess I better bend over more or he'll move on"

Abundance lifestyle is about more than having lots of chicks waiting in the wings. It's about having a full life that doesn't have time to waste.

So in brief, say "ok, have fun" and then go do something fun and cool yourself. And STFU. Don't tell her about it unless she asks.

creating_my_life · 2017-06-10T18:22:04+00:00

We were supposed to be spending some time together tonight, but she's had an offer to go for a few early drinks with two of her mates. She hasn't seen them for ages

Cool. Sounds like she'll have fun.

and I'm fine with her going.

That's good.

No insecurities about her cheating or anything like that.

Good. AWALT, but not every woman hops on a strange dick every day.

I do, however, feel slightly irritated that I am being palmed off for something better.

You need to understand why you feel irritated. If this is a genuine offer for some friends she rarely sees, you should be HAPPY for her. It's not like she's dumping special plans with you to wash her hair.

How do I keep my frame here and display value?

"Cool. Have fun."

I'm thinking of saying something like "yeah it's fine, ive got loads to be getting on with anyway" and not presenting anything negative to her about my own feelings.

Too many words. Too much investment. You're projecting that your feelings revolve around her. That's not the way it works. SHE adds value to YOUR life.

Now, either go do the plans you had, or go do something fun and cool. Ask yourself, "what would I do that night if I was single?" Go do that. You're an awesome man with lots of cool things going on in your life, right? Well go do them.

For bonus points, don't be home when she gets home that night. DO NOT answer her texts that evening--be out doing something fun. A little dread goes a long way.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-06-10T18:53:06+00:00

When you stop doing shit "for her" frame becones easy, since no change she makes affects that.

In her spot, would you blow off longtime friends in town for a date?

Your ideas are shit btw. Different variants of "i didnt want to go anyway"

Try this.

"ok, have fun"

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/amp/

Keep on the sidebar bro

Het-Masteen · 2017-06-10T22:48:13+00:00

Just really badly fucked up. She came home and complained about how when she's out her friends don't focus on each other enough. I replied "they don't have to, do they?" Shit storm ensued in which she has now told me that I don't give her enough space. I DEERed everywhere. Feeling fucking shit now like I've lost weeks work.

TaistoKarhu · 2017-06-10T22:48:55+00:00

Just wondering, since you said you're not worrying abot her cheating, which you probably are to some extent since you said that (and that's ok), are these mates male or female?

I'm not sure if this is relevant, it just popped up to me.

Overall I just want to say that here in MRP you will probably get the most results if you completely surrender your filter and act and just state whatever is your reality of things. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but for some reason, even though we're communicating with hard to trace IDs and with people who know what we are working with simply by looking at a mirror or reminiscing our past, it's sometimes hard to do.

Title	Maintaining early frame
Author	Het-Masteen
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	June 10, 2017 3:16 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6gfqei/maintaining_early_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/maintaining-early-frame.206027 https://theredarchive.com/post/206027

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