• Historical context

190cm height, BMI ~18 for majority of my life, now finally got it to 24-25 and gaining some actual upper body muscle. Has never been a lifter as had trouble gaining weight. Instead have historically done running, cycling, and martial arts. Additionally have an improperly healed scapular fracture that makes one shoulder joint prone to dislocation under stress.

As a child was autistic as fuck, over the years gradually adapted and now pass for a normal human being.

In the early 2000's stumbled my way into PUA, which helped me standardize human interactions and make myself more attractive to women.

Bumblefucked my way through several relationships, got married, fast forward a decade and one child later to today.

  • Recent days

Just started lifting, currently doing 100x 10kg each hand. Doing push ups and sit ups, I want defined pecks, biceps, triceps area, and a defined 6-pack, don't really have a lifting or a BMI goal, will tune those as required. Any advice here is welcome, as I have zero lifting exp.

Reading the Rational Male, confirming a lot of my personal theories, discovering some new things and techniques. It's amusing how many things I've stumbled onto completely by accident. Found out that my current approach is called direct as I simply approach women and indicate my interest. I've maximized my chances by learning how to write poetry. The amount of ego boost a poem gives a girl doesn't compare to anything else. I've decided to start practicing writing poems again.

Rebuilding my frame feels fantastic. I feel great. Every day I go on runs or bike rides with my kid, lift and exercise in the evening and completely ignore my wife.

  • Yesterday

Yesterday I ended up taking a hard long look at my SO, and I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Every red flag from the Rational Male is up, my autistic quirks from the worst of times look like a walk in the park compared to her untapped mountain of mental health issues that she's either blamed on me or on circumstances over the years, instead of taking responsibility and working on them. I just can't let it slide anymore.

Ironically, she's starting to realize that now that she's gone full celibate (due to another bunch of mental hangups), she has literally nothing to offer to me, and she's freaking out about it.

Even if she starts working on her issues right now, the best case scenario is I get shitty starfish sex, from a person who is deathly afraid of losing me, but also is deathly afraid of having sex.

I'd honestly feel better if I knew she was cheating on me, and actually enjoying sex with someone else. This is so fucking pathetic. At this point all I have is pity for her, and last time I checked pity was a poor foundation for a relationship. I am not a charity or an old folks home for retired pussy. How do I verbalize this to her in a less offensive way?

Installed a dating app that same evening and the amount of available attractive women is staggering. I'm under the impression that the second I leave I'll be swimming in assorted cooch by the end of the week.

Which leaves the two key issues:

  1. I love my kid to bits and I need guidance on how to run this split as amicably as possible, whilst maintaining my parental access. Are there resources for this?

  2. My credo in life is that smart people have a duty to have as many kids as possible so as to not be outbred by idiots. I consider myself a smart person, but the idea of marrying again for the purpose of having kids seems suboptimal, putting it very mildly. How do I spread my seed with maximum effect? Are there resources on this? Are there apps for barebacking with built-in STD/STI screens? Knock-me-up apps? What am I missing?